The Process Of Weeding Out - 12/5/01

[The scene opens to a black, blank screen.  Suddenly, the instrumental
"Process of Weeding Out" by Black Flag begins to play.  As the
abrasive wall of guitar and jazz-like rhythms go on, several scenes of
past BSCW action are shown.

"Redneck Wrecking Machine" Richard Harris Double Chokeslams Debonair.

"The Innovator of Insanity" Damian Payne nails Blacktop with a Gut
Wrench Powerbomb.

Short, fast vignettes of all the participants of the North American
Championship Rumble are shown.

Hell On Earth decimate Ninja with the End of the Road.

Debonair hits Goo with the Hart Attack Clothesline.

Shrapnel his Dan Owens with the Shrapnel Spike out of nowhere.

Joker hits Clown'n High on Tyson Bryson, but Bryson rolls through, and
pins Joker with a handful of tights.

Whiskey Jakk blindsides Hannibal Carver and puts him away with
Bamboozled.

"Deadly" Derek Irvin and "The Icon Killer" Matt O'Riordan cheap shot
Justin Keith.

Max C nearly snaps Irvin's neck with a huge Chokeslam.

Taurus makes Rick Sturgis tap out to the Horns of Taurus.

The Process of Weeding Out logo flies by, and as it passes we fade to
Viking Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  The place is packed with
countless rabid hardcore fans.  The number of Taurus t-shirts is
insane, as the fans are obviously ready for the official return of the
Japanese Akita.  the camera pans across a number of signs held in a
row stating "Syk...Hardko.... Dark... WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"  The
camera takes a final sweep of the audience, and finals zooms in on the
ringside commentary team of Matt Heath and Bil Withonel.]

Matt Heath: Good evening folks, and welcome to the Process Of Weeding
Out!  Tonight we will see nearly every title up for grabs.  Nearly
every title, excluding the World Championship, Bil.

Bil Withonel: That's right, Heath.  But don't fret, because YOUR World
Champion will be plenty busy tonight.  Not only does DDI have to
defend the Tag Team straps with Whiskey Jakk against the winner of the
Hell On Earth, Mob Squad, Debonair, Q's match, but he has to come back
to face Max C, Damian Payne, Richard Harris _and _ Taurus in a Three
Way Tag Team Match with Matt O'Riordan in tonight's main event!  It
just ain't fair, I tells ya.

MH: He won't be alone in wrestling more than once tonight.  Taurus
will also be in a Rumble for the vacated North American Championship
along with Whiskey Jakk, Grinnin, Seth Harker, Blake Storm, Todd
Royal, The Rebel, Blacktop, Boz, Jaji, Matt O'Riordan, Emmitt,
Thunderbolt Lightfoot and Scott Deville.  The beauty of that one is
that _anyone_ can walk out of it with the strap, Bil.

BW: Absolutely.  And just so you don't think Richard Harris is getting
the easy part of the deal, he'll take part in our opening match.
It'll be a Three Way Dance against Damian Payne and Dan Owens for a
shot at Sykopath's Hardcore gold later tonight.  The question being...
 Is Syko even here tonight?  After getting hit by a truck at Hostile
Intentions he hasn't been the same.  Who knew you could scramble that
maniac's brains any worse than Mother Nature did?

MH: It seems that's exactly what has happened, as Sykopath has
reverted to an old gimmick of his, that of "Hardcore Kobra".
[Shudders]  Call him whatever you want, we're assured that he'll be
ready as ever to defend his Hardcore Championship.  All this and the
Cruiserweight Final as either Tyson Bryson or Shrapnel will walk away
as undisputed Cruiserweight Champion!  But the time for talking is
over...

BW: It's go time!

[With that, we head to the ring, where ring announcer Jared Lord is
standing by.]

Jared Lord: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a
fifteen minute time limit.  It will be a Three Way Hardcore Dance!

[Hardcore pop!]

JL: Introducing first...  Accompanied to the ring by Lady Fantasy...
From Denver, Colorado...  Weighing in at two hundred and ninety-five
pounds...  "The Innovator of Insanity" Damian Payne!

["Give It Up" by Screwball hits the P.A. to nearly no reaction as
Payne poses at the top of the ramp with his valet, who, it should be
noted, is NOT the valet of DDI and Whiskey Jakk, and then the two come
down towards the ring. Payne hops into the ring and waits for his
opponent.]

JL: Introducing next...  From Heflin, Alabama...  Weighing in at two
hundred and thirty-five pounds...  "King Kill" Dan Owens!

["King Kill" by Marilyn Manson plays to some heel heat, as Owens
taunts the crowd as much as possible on his way down to the ring. He
then enters and waits for his opponent, without posing at all.]

MH: And Payne jumps Owens!  As Dan was in the corner stretching, Payne
rushed in and sent him into the corner chest-first with a Spear to the
small of the back!  He could've broken Owens' spine in half with that
move!

[Payne follows it up with a series of thunderous kicks and forearm
shots, eventually sending Owens crumpling to the canvas.  He lays in a
final boot to the side of Owens' head, and poses.  Big heel heat for
this...  Which turns into a big face pop, as "Hell's Bells" by AC/DC
blasts over the P.A. as Jared Lord begins to speak into the microphone
at ringside.]

JL: And their opponent...  From Atlanta, Georgia...  Weighing in at
three hundred and sixty-five pounds...  "Redneck Wrecking Machine"
Richard Harris!

[Harris charges down to the ring with a scowl on his face and a trash
bag slung over his right shoulder, a pillow case filled with hardcore
goodies poking out over his left.  He tosses the bags over the top
rope and into the ring and slides into the ring himself.  He spins
Payne around...]

BW:  Biting!  He's biting Damian's nose!  Harris is absolutely crazed!
 He tears away, almost seeming to trying to tear a chunk out of
Damian's face!  He whips Damian to the ropes...  Big Boot!

[Harris lays an elbow to the throat of Payne, and goes for a cover,
but it's broken up by Dan Owens!]

MH: OOF!  Low Dropkick to the side of Harris' head!  That was some
nasty work in the corner by Harris, by the way.

BW: He's here to win, by any means, no matter how revolting,
necessary.  Can't fault him for that.  Changing the subject...  Do you
smell something?  Anyway, Owens picks Harris up by the mullet, and
nails a Sweep!  He jumps on top of the big man, and goes to town with
a series of closed fists!

[Payne gets to his feet, and sneaks behind Owens.  Damian catches
Owens' arm in mid-swing, and wrenches it behind Dan's back in a
Hammerlock.  He picks him up, lifts him high over his head with the
Hammerlock...]

[THUD!]

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: What the hell was that!?

MH: The closest I can come is a Gorilla Press Hammerlock Slam...
Whatever it was, it very well might've broken Owens' damn arm!

BW: After that, I wouldn't be surprised!  Payne goes to the ropes...
He rebounds...  Big Splash!

[Meanwhile, Harris is up and takes out a Winston.  He lights it, and
starts to smoke as Payne goes for the cover.]

MH: He has the leg hooked...  One...  Two...  GAAH!

[Harris grabs Payne by the hair and...]

BW: Good Lord...  He's raking the eyes of the "Innovator of Insanity"
with that lit cigarette!  Shades of "Luscious" Johnny Valiant there!
Payne is rolling around on the canvas in pain...  And the mongoloids
here in Philly are on their feet for the maniac from Georgia!

[Crowd: Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris!]

MH: If this match is this out of hand, can you imagine what the
Hardcore title match will be like?

BW: No, and quite frankly...  I'm scared.  Hold me, Matt.

MH: Get the hell off me!  Anyway...  Harris is busy stomping the hell
out of Owens and Payne, and things are looking up for Harris!

[Suddenly "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi blasts over the P.A. as Max C
runs down to the ring to a huge face pop.  He rolls into the ring and
lays Harris down with a Spinning Lariat!]

BW:  What the hell's that genetic freak doing here?  He picks Harris
up by the head...

[WHAM!]

MH: Grande Capo!  On top of the prone figure of Dan Owens!  The amount
of punishment Owens is taking in this one is unbelievable!  Max drags
Payne on top of the mountain of flesh that is Richard Harris and Dan
Owens!  The ref is in position...  One...  Two...  NO!!  How in the
hell!?

[Harris shoves Payne off of him, and both Max and Damian look
completely shocked.  Harris staggers to his feet with one hand on the
top rope to steady himself.  Max and Damian nod at each other, and
charge at the "Redneck Wrecking Machine".]

[Crowd: You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up!]

BW: That they did!  They charged, but Harris' stop at Carver's pub
must've given him the luck of the irish, as he slipped and fell,
pulling the top rope down, and sending those two giants flying to the
outside!

[The camera pans to the left slightly, as we see Max C and Damian
Payne smashed against the steel guard railing.  Harris gets back to
his feet and leans over to taunt them.]

MH: That wasn't even instinct, that was pure dumb luck.  Harris was
punch drunk, and it saved his ass!  But what's this?  Owens rolls to
his knees and...  Low Blow!  Harris is bent over with pain...  And
Owens steals a page from the World Champ's playbook, leaping up to his
feet and bringing the big man down with a DDT!  He floats it over into
a pinning predicament...  One...  Tw...  Not even a count of two there
as Harris lifts up his right shoulder.

BW: It's going to take more than one lucky move to put down that big
hunk of white trash.  He picks Harris up by the hair…  Kitchen
Sink!  Owens scores with the Short Arm Knee to the gut!  He follows it
up with a Facebuster, and just like that Dan Owens has turned the
tide!  He could have it...  But he's going outside!

[Crowd: We Want Tables! Clap, clap, clap-clapclap! We Want Tables!
Clap, clap, clap-clapclap! We Want Tables! Clap, clap, clap-clapclap!
We Want Tables! Clap, clap, clap-clapclap!]

MH: And tables they get, as Owens is rummaging under the ring!

[But from behind, Max and Damian _finally_ get to their feet.  They
lie in wait as Owens tosses a couple steel chairs into the ring,
followed by the mark-satisfying table.  Owens slides the table under
the bottom rope and...]

[CRASH!]

BW: Diggity damn!  Double Russian Leg Sweep, right into the steel
guard railing!  "King Kill" is out cold!  Max and Damian pick Owens up
by the head, and dump him over the rail and into the crowd!

[Payne and Max slap each other a high five, which gets a mixed
reaction from the crowd.  Harris is back to his feet, and runs to the
ropes.  He rebounds and...]

[CRASH!]

[Crowd: Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris!
Har-ris!]

MH: Baseball Slide from Harris sends Max C crashing into the guard
railing once more!  Uncharacteristically agile move by Harris, and you
know that means he's pulling out all the stops here tonight!  He leans
over to grab Payne by the hair, and is dragging him up onto the ring
apron...  And is blasting away with a series of stiff as hell shots to
the face!  But Damian quickly grabs Harris by the back of the head...

[Shocked Pop!]

BW: Hot Shot!  He dropped Harris throat-first on the top rope!  Payne
rolls into the ring and grabs a steel chair...  Chair-assisted Elbow
Drop to the chest of Harris!  He goes for the cover...  But Harris has
his foot on the bottom rope!  Dumb luck saves his ass yet again.

[On the outside, Max C, seeing Payne has the advantage, takes off up
the ramp to the backstage area.  After he leaves, Dan Owens struggles
to his feet and climbs over the guard railing.]

[Hardcore Pop!]

MH: What the hell?!  Owens is dislocating a section of the guard
railing...  And sliding it into the ring!  What is going through his
mind?

[Security runs down the aisle to stop any fans from rushing the ring
as BSCW ring crew come down the aisle with a section of guard railing
to replace the one taken by Owens.  Inside the ring, Payne picks
Harris up by the head as Owens grabs hold of the guard rail.]

BW: Harris and Payne are up...  And oblivious to the appearance of Dan
Owens!

[WHAM!]

MH: AAGGH!!  Owens just hit both men with a railing-assisted Double
Clothesline!  Amazingly, both big men are getting back to their feet!

[WHAM!]

[THUD!]

BW: Good Lord!  He did it again, and then slammed the railing down on
the prone figures of Richard Harris and Damian Payne!

[Crowd: Ow-ens! Ow-ens! Ow-ens! Ow-ens! Ow-ens! Ow-ens! Ow-ens!
Ow-ens!]

MH: He's had a rough time in this match, but I think Owens took a big
step towards getting his hand raised in victory with that vicious
assault!  Now what's this?  Owens goes to the ropes...

[Owens comes off the ropes, obviously looking to squash Payne and
Harris under the railing.  But instead...]

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: Yikes!  They kicked the railing up right into Owens' face!  Blood
is flowing from his nose!  Payne and Harris stagger to their feet...

[THUD!]

[Crowd: B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W!
B-SC-W!]

MH: Double DDT on the guard railing!  This is insane!  Harris and
Payne get back to their feet...  And immediately start slugging it
out!  Harris blocks, and sends Payne reeling to the ropes with a left
hook!  Payne come off the ropes...  And Harris drops to one knee,
landing a stiff shot to Damian's crotch!

[As Payne is bent over in pain, Harris rummages through the pillow
case...]

BW: Tire Rim!  This is gonna get ugly!

[Smack!]

[Thud!]

MH: Right you are!  Harris with a big shot with that tire rim to
Payne's forehead, and "The Innovator of Insanity" goes down like a
pile of bricks!  Good Lord!  Harris drapes the tire rim on Payne's
head...  Comes off the ropes...  Leg Drop!  He could've severed
Damian's head with that!

[Crowd: Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris!
Har-ris!]

BW: But it looks like he did a fair amount of damage to himself with
that, as he's severely favoring that leg!

[Meanwhile, Owens staggers to his feet with the aid of the ring ropes,
wiping some of the blood from his face.  He sees his opening as Harris
limps to his feet, and moves in for the kill.]

MH: Chop Block!  Harris goes down to one knee...  And Owens helps him
the rest of the way down with a Standing Sidekick to the back of the
head!  Harris is flat on his face...  And Owens is signaling for The
Constrictor!  How humiliating it'd be for Harris to tap out in a
Hardcore Match!

[Owens gets in position, but just as he's about to cinch in the hold,
Harris lunges forward...]


BW: Owens goes flying face-first into the corner!  That gave Harris
some time to recover!  He staggers over...  And starts working on
re-opening the gash on Owens' forehead with a series of stiff shots!
Harris steps back...

[Crowd: OOF!]

MH: Ouch!  Big Lariat in the corner, and I think Harris just knocked
Dan Owens out cold!  And I think...  YES!  Harris is signaling for the
Truck Stop!  If he hits this it's over!

[Harris prepares to crotch Owens on the top turnbuckle, when Damian
Payne limps over, and sends Harris to the outside with a big forearm
to the back of the head.]

BW: Payne is still in this one!  He follows Harris to the outside, and
tosses him into the guard railing!

[Payne walks to the left, where a fairly large number of extra steel
chairs are stacked next to the railing.  He pushes them over, as they
all scatter on the floor.  He walks back over to Harris...]

MH: NO! Harris with an Ear Popper, and that rings Payne's bell!  Payne
with a Wild swing...  Harris ducks...  And gets Payne up for an
Airplane Spin!  He stops...  And drops Payne on the guard railing,
virtually impaling the "Innovator of Insanity" on the hard,
unforgiving steel!  Harris sure gave those fans a close look at the
action, Bil.

BW: You're so lame.  Harris grabs the pillow case from inside the ring
and drags it to the outside.  He pulls out...  A case of Coors?

[Crowd: Silver Bullet! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! Silver Bullet!
Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! Silver Bullet! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!
Silver Bullet! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!]

MH: Weird.  Harris lays it out on the floor, drags Payne to his feet
and...

[Hardcore Pop!]

BW: Powerbomb on the case!  Beer is spraying everywhere, as the impact
of Payne's massive body crushed several of the cans!  Payne is
writhing in pain!  Harris rolls back into the ring, and Owens goes on
the attack, groggily taking a swing at Harris!  Harris ducks, picks up
that trash bag...

[WHACK!]
[WHACK!]
[WHACK!]
[WHACK!]
[WHACK!]
[WHACK!]

MH: What the hell is in that bag!  He dumps it on the mat!  Ewwww!

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: Literally holy shit...  The bag is filled with dog shit!  I smell
a lawsuit!  Among other things.  Owens staggers as Harris hooks him...
 Harris hit Owens with a Single Arm DDT into the pile o' poo!  I'm
gonna be sick!

[Crowd: Fuckin' Gross! Fuckin' Gross! Fuckin' Gross! Fuckin' Gross!
Fuckin' Gross! Fuckin' Gross! Fuckin' Gross! Fuckin' Gross!]

MH: Harris hauls Owens, with a face covered in animal feces, off the
mat!  He picks him up, and crotches him on the top rope!  He points to
the pile of chairs scattered on the floor earlier by Payne...

[Crowd: BSC-Dub! BSC-Dub! BSC-Dub! BSC-Dub! BSC-Dub! BSC-Dub! BSC-Dub!
BSC-Dub!]

BW: Jesus H. Christ!  Truck Stop!  On a pile of fucking steel chairs
no less!  Harris rolls over for the cover...  One...  Two...  Three!

JL: Here is your winner...  "Redneck Wrecking Machine" Richard Harris!

["Hell's Bells" re-plays as the ref precariously raises Harris' hand,
making sure not to touch any dung.  Harris walks near Damian Payne,
grabs a battered can of Coors from the case, pops the top, and walks
back up the ramp to a big pop.]

MH: Well, that was certainly the smelliest hardcore match I've seen in
all my years.

BW: And then some.  Well folks, up next we have the North America
Rumble scheduled, but it looks like we'll have a short intermission
while the ring and ringside area are cleaned up after that mess.  In
the meantime, I'm told Ronan Alexander is waiting by backstage with
The Mob Squad, who'll be making their BSCW debut tonight in the Four
Corners Tag Team Match with Debonair, The Q's and Hell On Earth.

[We cut to the backstage area, where Ronan is indeed standing by.  The
Mob Squad is there as well, but not in the condition you'd expect.
Both men are out cold, and are wearing the "crimson mask" on their
faces, along with their clothes being ripped to shreds.  EMT's are
busy loading both men onto a stretcher as Mike begins to speak.]

RA: Thanks, Bil.  As you can see, Johnny Curillo and Sean Collins are
in no shape to compete tonight.  Apparently there was some sort of
scuffle with an unknown assailant or assailants, and from what we can
see The Mob Squad were on the losing end of that.  I've already spoken
with BSCW President Richard Vail, and he has promised that a
replacement team will be found.  He's currently in meetings with
several members of the BSCW roster to see what can be arranged.
Hopefully we can have more on this as it develops.  Back to you at
ringside.

[But before we do... Backstage. The camera pans past a portable stereo
playing the Foo Fighters "Monkey Wrench" until we see Seth Harker.
(Promoting the faint sound of a large crowd popping.) He stares
intently downwards and speaks softly.]

Seth: In just a few minutes time... I go into battle. To face
countless odds...
for the glory of being the North American Champion. Should I win...
then that
will be a great step forward for me. Should I fail...

[Seth pauses... then smiles.]

Seth: ... No biggie. There will always be another chance... But one
thing,
Coma...

[The shot widens out, allowing us to see Seth is sitting facing his
manager and
mentor, Coma. The crowd pops again.]

Seth: Should I really be spending the last minutes before the most
important
match in my life playing "Hungry, Hungry Hippos?"

Coma: (Nodding sagely) Poink! There's no plutonium like this in Utah!
I have an
accordion up my nose! (He wiggles his hippos tail.) Halitosis!

Seth: I see... it's a hand/eye co-ordination thing, than?

Coma: Neep!

Seth: Fine... GAME ON!!

[He tosses a handful of marbles onto the board game. Much
marble-munching
madness ensues as we cut back to ringside.]

[Nope.  I lied.  We fade in on Hell on Earth locker room. The crowd
pops really loud at the sight of The Rebel because we are in
Philadelphia. The Rebel is sitting on the bench with a towel over his
head and Blacktop stands near the lockers smoking cigarette. The Rebel
looks up from under the towel and begins.]

R: For Philadelphia's prodigal son has come home... And they turn to
me and they say "Do it for us"... Just like they did with Rocky
Balboa. Why should I do it for you... You were never there for me...
Why should I be there for you? You are the ones that brought pain to
me as a kid... Now I have reappeared to return that same hate... That
same pain. You can call me your son... But I will always be to you
that kid that didn't fit in.

[There is a pause from The Rebel before he continues.]

R: The counting is done... And the few grains in the hourglass are
beginning to slip through. The time is almost up... It's almost up on
thirteen men's careers. It is almost time for me to step back in the
town that had abandon me... And left me for dead. I can forgive... But
I will not forget. I step into the ring with the likes of my
partner... Blacktop... Taurus... Whiskey Jakk... And Boz... Men who I
have brutal battles with... And we have the likes of some people that
have never dared to cross my path until now. But you see the four men
mention above... They have felt my pain... And they understand my
suffering... For the men who have never crossed my path... Thunderbolt
Lightfoot, Seth Harker and "The Icon Killer" Matt O'Riordan... Just to
name a few... Will feel my pain. I will make them suffer... Because
they have stepped into a world they know nothing about... Nothing
about.

[The Rebel removes the towel from his head as he continues once
again.]

R: Four teams bide for a chance to become number one contenders... But
what is it all for... Why must the three teams of the Mob Squad... The
Q's... And Debonair... Stand in the way of Hell on Earth. You see
these six men do not realize that they are standing in the way of
fate... And destiny. But you see Mob Squad, Q's, Debonair... Fate is a
strange mistress and she has descended upon you... With a flurry of
pain and suffer. Tonight, I will make you feel my pain... And I will
make you suffer... But in the end you must understand that it's not my
fault if you guys are out of job for a couple week due to being laid
up in the hospital in intensive care... I tried to forewarn you... But
I guess that warning fell upon deaf ears. Now you all must pay the
price... And for some reason down this sick and twisted path the price
will be paid with pain.

[The Rebel disappears back up under the towel as Blacktop flicks his
cigarette to the ground as he begins.]

B: They have tried to tear Hell on Earth apart... They have pit myself
and The Rebel against each other in the North American Championship
Battle Royal. So be it. But it will not compare to the fighting we did
in summer camp over "The American Sweetheart" Alicia...

R: That wasn't me! That was Dennis, goof!

B: Whatever... The point is that this Rumble will be one of most
brutal rumbles that Blood, Sweat and Chairs Wrestling has seen in a
while. I will seek what I want. And what some wrestlers here in Blood,
Sweat and Chairs Wrestling have failed to give me ever since that
faithful night... I will seek my respect... And I will get it. If it's
not given... I promise one thing... I will hurt people until they show
me the respect that I should be given. I could care less about the
title because just about respect to me... For some have shown and some
haven't... And for those who haven't... They are in store for a dose
of their worst fucking nightmare.

[Blacktop pauses for a minute and then continues.]

B: The higher ups in Blood, Sweat and Chairs Wrestling have made the
mistake of sticking three upstart tag teams in the way of our destiny.
I feel bad for six men tonight because before their careers can
start... They will come to an end at the hands of myself and The
Rebel. You see these six men do not understand what is standing in the
ring with them... And they have failed to realize we don't play
games... We hurt people... Because we can. They all want to play
games... But what are they going to do when the games come to an
end...And they are laid up in the hospital sucking food out of a tube.

[The camera cuts back to The Rebel. And he begins once again.]

R: You see tonight will mark the end of an empire… Greed. We
will pick member by member off... Until we are left with two. "Deadly"
Derek Irvin and Whiskey Jakk... And the BSCW Tag Team Championships.
Irvin and Jakk you to cannot coexist... It's a proven fact. Jakk wants
what Irvin has and that is the BSCW World Championship. See that will
be you down fall... Because Jakk's obsession with that title will rip
Greed right now the middle. But you don't have to worry about ripping
out your own hearts... Because myself and Blacktop will take care of
that. You see Irvin and Jakk... See there is tension between the two
of you... And the tunnel that you have been traveling down has a dead
end... And that dead end is tonight. And you will finally realize that
your worst fucking nightmare has come true... Why...

[The camera cuts back to Blacktop who just finished up taping his
wrist. He begins once again.]

B: Because you ask for it... Now you have it... And there isn't a
fucking thing you can do about it.

[Scene fades back to the announce table, finally, as The Rebel strikes
his infamous crucifix pose while Blacktop stands behind him with his
fist in the air.]

MH: Well, it seems that the match for the shot at Whiskey Jakk and
"Deadly" Derek Irvin's tag straps is in question, but from what I can
tell The Mob Squad will _not_ be a part of that contest.

BW: No shit, Sherlock.  Let's head to the ring.

[We switch to the ring, where Jared Lord is standing by.]

JL: The following contest is the North American Championship Rumble!

[Pop!]

JL: This match will be contested under Royal Rumble rules.  After the
first two participants are introduced, a different competitor will be
sent down in two minute intervals.

Introducing first...  From Washington, DC...  Weighing in at two
hundred and fifty-eight pounds...  "Devious" Scott Deville!

["Evil" by KMFDM blasts through the speakers as "Devious" Scott
Deville walks to the center of the platform.  He looks out into the
people in the crowd with contempt, and makes his way down to the
ring.]

JL: Introducing next...  From Hollywood, California...  Weighing in at
two hundred and seventy-one pounds...  Boz!

[The lights go out in Viking Hall.  Suddenly, Boz's voice is heard
over the P.A.]

Boz: Philly winds can cut you right to the bone. Well, this sure as
hell
ain't the city of Brotherly Love for me... Oh well, it's such a great
city.

[As the lights come back on, the crowd wonders what the hell Boz is up
to now.  "Wait and Bleed" by Slipknot blasts over the P.A.  Boz makes
his way to the ring with his usual smirk on his face. Stands in the
middle as the strobes go off in each corner. He walks around the ring
as his music fades. Ring lights come back on and Boz begins to speak.]

Boz: Alright, let's get it all out...  Come on...  Start the chant you
gigantic buckets of monkey spunk...

[Crowd: Fuck You Asshole! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! Fuck You
Asshole! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! Fuck You Asshole! Clap, clap,
clap-clap-clap! Fuck You Asshole! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!]

Boz: Thank you, thank you, at least I know that I am welcomed.
Alright, there are a few reasons I am out here tonight. One, I look at
all of you, then
realize that I am better than every single on of you....

[Crowd: Fuck You Asshole! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! Fuck You
Asshole! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap! Fuck You Asshole! Clap, clap,
clap-clap-clap! Fuck You Asshole! Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap!]

Boz: And two... Well, I need to get some things off my chest.

[Boz walks around the ring and looks up for a moment. He smirks to
himself
and begins to speak.]

Boz: Everyone in the BSCW has being saying that my victory was an
upset over
Rebel. You see, I really don't agree with that. Get off your ass, take
a look at the video archive. The first thing I said that I was going
to beat Rebel. Hmm, I did that. Then if you watch the match, I not
only beat him, I dominated him. Yeah, you could call it an upset if I
rolled him up and pulled the tights, but I didn't do that. All of you
people back in the dressing room, all of you fat ass fans had to watch
as I got the one, two, three. Funny, every since I came here, I have
always backed up everything I have ever said. I have proved that I am
everything I say I am. Who's laughing now, huh... Fartnut?

[The fans boo the hell out of Boz for taking some shots at Rebel. Boz
just
laughs it off and continues to talk.]

Boz: Now onto this little match for a title that means so little to
me. Vail oh Vail. When will you learn? The Band will come together and
the band will own BSCW. How can you stop me this time? I have no gold.
Well, not yet. Your little title match is a joke Vail, and I will not
be a part of it. When you grow a pair, call me. As for now, I am tired
of your crap, and I am tired of these stupid ass fans here. Vail, I
will get my revenge, and you will see, I will laugh last.

[Boz leaves the ring and it appears he has withdrawn from The North
American
Title match.]

BW: What the hell?  He's leaving?

MH: I guess anyone who bet on Boz to win it cursing his luck right
now.

[Jared Lord re-enters the ring, and begins to speak.]

JL: Introducing next...  From Dorchester, Massachusetts...  Weighing
in at two hundred and fifty-five pounds...  Representing Greed...
"The Icon Killer" Matt O'Riordan!

["That's Gangsta" by Shyne begins to wail through out the building as
the crowd lets go an amazing chorus of boos. Just then, the shadow of
" The Icon Killer"
walks through a cloud of smoke as a strobe light affect bounces off
the walls. Matt walks down the aisle and slides into the ring and gets
right in Deville's face.]

BW: Some trash talking going on between O'Riordan and Deville...
Matt's obviously letting him know that this is his house and he won't
get tossed out by some newbie making his debut.  But Deville has had
enough, and responds with a tremendous right hook to the face!  That
has O'Riordan reeling!

MH: O'Riordan's career is definitely taking a turn for the better
these days.  Not only does he have a shot at gold here, but later on
he gets his first main event with the likes of Taurus and Derek Irvin,
not to mention that he’s scheduled to get a shot at the Hardcore
belt at Season's Bleedings in two weeks.

BW: Yeah, but that won't mean a thing if he doesn't watch himself
here!

[Deville continues to rock O'Riordan with rights and lefts...  But
O’Riordan blocks, turns it into a Hammerlock...]

MH: and he floats the whole thing into a Russian Leg Sweep!  Nice
chain wrestling there by Matt O'Riordan!  He puts the boots to Deville
as he's down...

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["Rock Super Star" by Cypress Hill plays as Jaji and Gavin Hearst make
their way down to the ring, Hearst barking orders at Jaji the whole
way.  Jaji nods, and slides under the bottom rope.  O'Riordan goes for
a Clothesline as Jaji enters, but Jaji ducks and runs to the ropes.]

BW: Jaji off the ropes...  Flying Back Elbow!  O'Riordan goes down!
Deville gets up...  And eats a boot to the gut!  Jaji sets him up...

[WHAM!]

BW: Jaji Stinger!  This is definitely the lightning quick action we're
used to with Jaji, Matt.

MH: Absolutely.  Jaji leans over to pick Deville up by the head, but
O'Riordan is up...  Rocker Dropper!  Now Matt picks Deville up...  But
Scott breaks free...  And floors "The Icon Killer" with a Single
Underhook DDT!  Wild!

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["Sad But True" by Metallica blasts over the P.A. as Grinnin runs down
to a fairly sizeable "Welcome Back!" chant.  He rolls in, boots
Deville in the gut and...]

BW: Gobsmacker!  Gobsmacker!  NO!!  Deville blocks, and shoves the
Grinman away!  Grinnin charges...  And turn about is fair play, as he
eats a boot to the gut from The Devious One!  He jumps at Grinnin,
locking in a front headlock, and leans his weight against the middle
rope as he chokes Grinnin in the process.

[Jaji comes in and breaks it up.  Grinnin blocks a shot and pounds on
Jaji, but Deville takes the opportunity to ramp his shoulder into
Grinnin's abdomen and goes for a backdrop over the top rope!]

MH: Grinnin is gone!

BW: Welcome back...  And so long, shithead!  Damn, I'm liking this
videotaped stuff.  I can be a little freer with my tongue.  Just like
Fantasy.

MH: Watch it, smart guy.  Deville's celebration is short-lived, as
Jaji whips him to the ropes.  Deville rebounds...  And eats an insane
Superkick!  He'll probably need to visit his dentist after that one,
Bil.

BW: Jaji is intent on leaving Philly with the gold, that's for damn
sure.  Jaji picks Deville up by the head, possibly looking to toss him
out...  But Deville counters with a Belly to Back Suplex!  Nicely
done!

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["Whiskey In The Jar" by Metallica blasts over the P.A. as Jakk
charges down to the ring to a loud mixed pop.  He rolls into the ring,
and immediately floors Deville.]

MH: Whiskey with a vicious boot to the face!  Jaji is up, and charges
at Jakk...  Hoodwink!  O'Riordan goes to high five his Greed
partner...  But Jakk is on fire, and floors "The Icon Killer" with a
bone crushing Roundhouse Kick!  Jakk shrugs, and puts the boots to
Deville!  Jaji is up now...  He runs to the ropes...

[Jaji jumps to the center of the top rope and leaps off, nailing Jakk
with an eye popping Springboard Dropkick to the back of the head,
flooring the big man.]

[Crowd: Ja-ji! Ja-ji! Ja-ji! Ja-ji! Ja-ji! Ja-ji! Ja-ji! Ja-ji!]

BW: Wow!  Jaji took the big man down in very impressive fashion!  He
runs over next to the fallen Whiskey Jakk, turns around...  Standing
Moonsault!  He caught Deville with that as well I think!

MH: Yeah, it looked like he caught Deville in the mouth with a boot!
Jaji is really showing that he can hang with the big boys tonight!

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["Pepper" by The Butthole Surfers plays as Emmitt makes his way down
to the ring to a nice face pop.  He rolls into the ring, as Jaji
charges at him.]

BW: Arm Drag!  Jaji's up...  And he gets another Arm Drag!  O'Riordan
tries to take Emmitt with the element of surprise...  And gets a
Dragon Screw Leg Whip for his troubles!  Jaji and O'Riordan kip up,
and come charging at Emmitt...  Who takes them down with a Double
Clothesline!

[Crowd: Em-mit! Em-mit! Em-mit! Em-mit! Em-mit! Em-mit! Em-mit!
Em-mit!]

[Emmit plays up to the crowd as Whiskey gets to his feet.  He gets
behind Emmit, and locks him in a ÔøΩ Facelock.]

[WHAM!]

MH: Jakk takes him downtown with a modified Russian Leg Sweep!  He
picks Emmit up by the head...  And hoists him WAY up with a Gorilla
Press...  He's going to toss Emmit right into the third fucking row!

[Jakk runs with Emmit...  But Emmit escapes out the back door, forcing
Whiskey to go at full speed into the turnbuckles!  Emmit crawls out
under the bottom rope to the apron, leans back on the top rope...]

BW: Springboard Sunset Flip!  Good Lord!  Emmit gets up, not bothering
with the pinning attempt, and scores with a Leg Drop!  And this
capacity crowd is on their feet, applauding the athleticism of Emmitt!

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["The Unforgiven" by Metallica blast over the P.A. A Harley Davidson
appears at the top of the entrance. The Harley rides into the light
revealing Blacktop to be the rider. He is dressed in black with a
chain wrapped around his neck. He pumps his fist into the air to a
great crowd reaction. Then he points across the crowd and the
spotlight spots The Rebel standing in the aisle of the 200 section of
Viking Hall in his infamous crucifix pose which gets a thunderous
reaction from the crowd due to the fact we are in The Rebel's home
state. The Rebel makes his way through the crowd as Blacktop makes his
way down the ramp circling the ring one time before parking the Harley
at ringside. The Rebel hops over the guardrail and slides into the
ring and slumps into the corner as Blacktop steps over the top rope
thrusting the chain into the air above his head to another huge
reaction from the crowd.]

BW: Hell On Earth come down at the same time?  What is this crap?

MH: Well, why don't you take it up with them?

BW: ...

MH: Yeah, that's what I figured.  Blacktop and Rebel go right after
the fallen Whiskey Jakk, putting the boots to him.  Deville sneaks up
behind Emmitt, and nails him with...  The Crooked Death Plex!  That
might be it right there!  Deville picks him up by the head...  But
Emmit turns the tide with an Arm Wringer!  He grasps Deville's hand...
 And snaps the arm!  Deville is howling in pain!

[Emmitt works Deville near the ropes...  When suddenly...]

BW: Boz!  What the hell!  He runs down to ringside...  And pulls down
on the top rope!  Deville goes tumbling over!

[Boz laughs, and runs back up the ramp to a mixed pop.  The ref runs
over and orders Deville to leave the ringside area.  Deville pushes
him away, leaps up on the ring apron...]

MH: Emmitt has his back turned...  Deville nails a kick to the small
of Emmitt's back through the ropes!  He grabs Emmitt by the head, and
drags him out of the ring over the top!  That bastard!  Emmit can't
believe it!

[Emmitt starts brawling it out with Deville, as Security rushes in to
break them apart.  As Security escorts them out of the building...]

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["The Buffalo Hunt" from the Dances with Wolves Soundtrack plays as
Thunderbolt Lightfoot makes his way down to the ring to nearly no
reaction.  He rolls into the ring, avoiding Hell On Earth as they
continue to lay a vicious beating to Whiskey Jakk.  He instead focuses
on Jaji and O’Riordan, who are now getting to their feet.]

BW: Thunderballs comes thundering in with a Double Clothesline
attempt...  Too slow!  Both men duck it...  Jaji with a Savate Kick!
He staggers around to face O'Riordan...

[Pop!]

MH: Who hits the Lights Out!  Thunderbolt recoils backwards...  Jaji
pulls down the top rope...  And Lightfoot is gone!  That's his name
Bil, not Thunderballs.

BW: Eh, he's just a big bag of who gives a fuck.  O'Riordan and Jaji
slap each other high five...  Yikes!  They were thinking the same
thing, as they bring each other in for a Double KO via a two man Short
Arm Clothesline!

[The crowd applauds the Double KO, as...]

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["On a Rope" by Rocket From The Crypt  blasts over the P.A. as Seth
Harker and Coma run down the aisle to a very nice pop.  Seth jumps up
on to the ring apron, calls at The Rebel who turns around...]

[High Flying Pop!]

MH: Wow!  Harker takes down the veteran with a sweet Springboard
Spinning Heel Kick!  Blacktop takes exception to that however, and
takes his focus off Jakk and onto Harker.  Harker shows no fear
whatsoever though, and goes right at Blacktop...  Who stops the former
"Darksider" with an Eye Rake...  And plants him with a Side Slam!

[Blacktop gets down to one knee and begins to choke out Harker.
Meanwhile, Whiskey starts to get back to his feet.  He lays in a boot
to the back of Blacktop's head.]

BW: Well, that seems to have at least stunned Blacktop momentarily.
He picks Blacktop up by the head, and whips him to the ropes.  But
Blacktop, ever the wily veteran, grabs hold of the ropes to stop his
momentum!

[Jakk spits, and charges at Blacktop, who is caught by surprise...]

MH: Cactus Clothesline!  In a bit of an upset, Blacktop has been
eliminated by Whiskey Jakk!

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["Crawling" by Linkin Park plays to absolutely NO reaction.  Blake
Storm makes his way down to the ring, and a chorus of yawns is
audible.  Meanwhile, Jaji and O'Riordan continue to brawl, but it's
broken up by The Rebel, who nails Jaji with a Running Knee Lift.
O'Riordan takes a breather...  And then an absolutely evil grin comes
across his face as he sees Storm enter the ring.]

BW: Storm, like a dipshit, climbs to the top rope in an attempt to get
some kind of heat from the crowd.  Heath, will someone go and tell
this guy that he eats cock already?

MH: Not going to dignify that with a response...  O'Riordan runs to
the ropes, and crotches Blake Storm on the top turnbuckle!  O'Riordan
climbs to the second rope...

[O'Riordan reaches down the front of his tights and takes out a pair
of brass knuckles.  As hated as Greed is, the audience is annoyed even
more by Storm, so this gets a big face pop.]

BW: YEAH!  O'Riordan blasts Storm in the face with a series of shots
with the knuckle dusters as the crowd chants along...  And Storm is
busted open!  Yes, O'Riordan is my personal messiah!

MH: O'Riordan finally relents, and tosses the knucks away.  He hops
down, goes to the ropes...  Rebounds and...

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: WOO-HOO!  Springboard Dropkick to the face of Storm!  He landed
right on his damn head on the concrete floor!  What a day!

[O'Riordan leans over, and the lip readers in the audience can clearly
see h's yelling "You'll always be my bitch, Swinger!  Always!"]

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

["Attitude" by The Misfits blasts over the P.A. as the entire crowd in
Viking Hall gets to their feet.  Taurus walks out.  The action in the
ring stops, as all competitors have their eyes on the Japanese Akita.
A chant of "Taurus Is Gonna Kill You!" starts, which causes a grin to
come across Taurus' face.  He charges down to the ring, obviously
gunning for Whiskey Jakk.]

MH: Taurus hits the ring, and gets swarmed by every single competitor!
 WHAM!  Double Dragon Clothesline takes out O'Riordan and Jaji!  The
monstrous Jakk comes at Taurus...  Japanese Leg Drag takes the big man
off his feet!  Harker charges with a Back Elbow...  It misses as
Taurus ducks under and goes around...  For a quick as lightning
Hangman's Neckbreaker!  Taurus turns...  And comes face to face with
The Rebel!  They go face to face, nose to nose...  And shake hands!
The crowd is going nuts!  They nod at each other...  And start
exchanging rights and lefts like presents at Christmas time!

BW: Christ, not that old line again.  What is that crap, you're
version of [Bil contorts in a face in such a way that words are
slurred out with a deep southern accent] "Business is set to pick up,
folks!"?.  Pathetic.  The Rebel and Taurus are really going at it, but
are broken up by Jaji and O'Riordan, who hit Stereo Russian Leg
Sweeps!  Damn, the way these two are going, they should consider
forming a tag team!  Jaji picks Taurus up by the head and whips him to
the ropes...  No, reversal!  Taurus catches Jaji off the ropes and...

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

MH: Good Lord!  T-Bone Suplex...  Right over the top rope!  Gavin
Hearst is right next to Jaji on the floor, cursing him out...  But I
think Jaji has more important things to worry about, like retaining
consciousness!  What a move by Taurus!

[Buzzzzzzzz!]

[The lights go out and several shades of blue strobe lights flash
through the arena. The sounds of AC/DC's "TNT" play over the loud
speaker and Todd Royal and Megan Skye walk to the ring. Royal is
wearing a black vest with "Todd Bless You" on it over his tights and
Megan has a pink dress. Royal steps to the ringside area and talks to
Skye, assuring her this match is less dangerous than the Jobber Rumble
on Battleground so she is safe at ringside.]

BW: Yeah!  Royal rules!

MH: Hey, a little less bias, please?

BW: Screw that, I'm a Todd Royal mark and I don't care who knows it!

MH: ...  Anyway, Royal has yet to enter the ring, and seems to be
simply scouting his opponents.  Inside, O'Riordan shows some real
guts...  And takes the fight to the Japanese Akita!  Slugfest
ensues...  But that's no way to beat Taurus!  He's one of the stiffest
men in the game today, and he shows by knocking O'Riordan silly!  He
whips "The Icon Killer" into the ropes...  No, reversal!  Taurus
rebounds...

[WHACK!]

BW: Day-Um!  Talk about stiff!  O'Riordan levels the former World
Champion with an _awesome_ Roundhouse Kick to the face!  I think the
entire arena is in shock, as Taurus is down!

MH: O'Riordan has definitely upped his game a few notches since Taurus
was last in BSCW, a fact that the Japanese Akita found out the hard
way!  O'Riordan stands over Taurus, taunting him...  But here comes
the Rebel...

[THUD!]

BW: Big Bulldog!  The impact of that was almost as great as a
Confederate Drop!  It seemed to knock the wind out of O'Riordan, as
Rebel is able to pick him up off the canvas with no opposition
whatsoever.  Rebel goes for a Side Headlock...  But in a nice display
of skill O'Riordan slips out of it and locks in a Hammerlock!  He then
whips The Rebel to the ropes...  Rebel rebounds as O'Riordan puts his
head down for a Back Bodydrop...  NO!  Rebel leapfrogs O'Riordan,
racing to the ropes on the other side...

[Shocked Pop!]

MH: It was a set up!  As soon as The Rebel gets to the ropes, Jakk
ambushes him with a Cactus Clothesline and dumps Rebel over the top...
 But Rebel grabs hold of Jakk's immense head as he goes over...  And
brings Whiskey with him, hitting a modified Confederate Drop on the
ring apron as he does! Jakk bounces off the apron and onto the floor!
Both men are gone!  Amazing!

BW: Damn, that was one hell of a move by The Rebel.  Well, let's
see...  We have O'Riordan, Taurus, Harker and Royal left.  O'Riordan
goes to grab Taurus...  But Taurus takes him down with a Headlock
Takedown!  Harker is walking over to either break it up or help Taurus
out...  WHAM!  Corkscrew Leg Drop onto the already downed O'Riordan!
Taurus slaps Harker a high five!  Taurus picks O'Riordan up by the
head...  And tosses him out over the top rope!

[O'Riordan hooks his foot under top rope and hits the ring apron,
sliding back into the ring under the bottom rope and thus staying in
the match.  Harker points this out to Taurus, who begins putting the
boots to O'Riordan.  Suddenly, Todd Royal finally makes his entrance
into the ring, with a steel chair.]

MH: What the hell is he doing?  He spins Harker around...

[THWACK!]

BW: Bam!  Right between the eyes!  Harker goes down!  Royal picks him
up by the head...  And tosses him over the top!  Harker has been
eliminated!  Royal laughs and points at a furious Harker, who finally
calms down with the help of his retarded buddy Coma and walks away.
I'm sure we haven't seen the last of Harker and Royal going at it,
Matt.

MH: No, in fact I think Royal just opened a big can of worms for
himself.  Meanwhile, Taurus has O'Riordan up...  But O'Riordan hits a
Drop Toe Hold, sending Taurus face first into the second turnbuckle!
What's this?  As O'Riordan gets back to his feet, Royal starts
taunting him, calling him on!  And O'Riordan obliges!  He charges at
Royal, who's leaning against the corner with seemingly not a care in
the world...

[O'Riordan flies at Royal, who ducks.  O'Riordan, thinking quickly,
land on the ropes and quickly jumps onto the top turnbuckle, looking
to backflip over Royal.  Royal sees it coming, and with a smirk and a
yawn nonchalantly shoves O'Riordan off the top and sends him crashing
onto the floor below.  Royal waves goodbye to a mixed reaction, but a
_big_ reaction.]

BW: Now do you see why I mark for this man?

MH: Whatever.  Mark or not, he still has to face one of the most
dangerous men in the wrestling world today, Taurus.  Taurus gets up,
and Royal is bending over...  I think he's getting something out of
his boot...  Another man with a pair of brass knucks?

BW: Not that I can tell, as he stands up, kicking wildly at an
approaching Taurus.  Good strategy, he can't get tossed out if Taurus
can't get to him.  He lands in a kick to the Japanese Akita's
midsection, so it worked!

[Or did it?  Taurus looks up, grabs the foot before he gets kicked
again and...]

[THWACK!]

MH: Enziguri!  He nearly took Royal's head clean off!  He picks Royal
up, getting ready to dump him over the top...  But he can't!  Royal
isn't going anywhere!  What the hell?

[The camera pans down, and we see that Royal has tighed his bootlace
to the bottom rope, making it impossible for him to be tossed out.
It's shown on the Vail-Tron to a HUGE heel pop.]

BW: YEAH!  That's using your head!  Taurus is getting the picture now,
as he looks down at the boot...

[WHACK!]

MH: Royal boots him in the back of the head with the other foot!  He
slips his foot out of the tied boot, sets Taurus up and...

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: YES~!  Todd Damn!  Over the top rope!  We have a new champion~!

JL: Here is your winner...  And _new_ BSCW North American Champion...
Todd Royal!

["TNT" re-plays as Royal laughs and grabs the belt.  He grabs the
microphone from Jared Lord and screams...]

TR: I told you so! I told you so! I am Todd Royal! Todd Bless, ME! You
all SUCK. I told you so!

[Royal then calmly exits the ring, making his way back up the steel
ramp entranceway with Megan Skye, the North American Championship belt
and a _huge_ grin on his face.]

MH: Well, a bit of an upset there, despite all the cheating he took to
get the strap.  Nonetheless, we have our first new champion of the
evening crowned in Todd Royal.  It only remains to be seen where the
other belts in BSCW lay when the night is over.  So far we know that
Richard Harris will be taking on Sykopath for the Hardcore
Championship...

BW: Will he?  From what I've seen Syko's been a little odd...  Er,
lately.

MH: We can only hope he has it together enough for his championship
match, or I expect Harris will get the belt the easiest of any man
since Vic Simmons was handed the belt when Timby was crippled by
Gemini.  Anyway folks, up next we have the match to determine who will
take on tag champs "Deadly" Derek Irvin and Whiskey Jakk later on
tonight.  The question is, who'll be there?  Hell On Earth, Debonair
and The Q's will be for certain, but who will be subbing for The Mob
Squad?

BW: As long as it's not Yakuza, I'm cool with whoever does.  Let's go
to the ring and find out.

[We pan to the ring, where Jared Lord is standing by.]

JL: The following match is a Four Corners Match for the number one
contendership to the BSCW Tag Team Championships!

[Pop!]

JL: It is an elimination style match with a thirty minute time limit.
Introducing first...  From Quebec, Canada and Anchorage, Alaska
respectively...  Weighing in at a combined four hundred and forty-six
pounds...  Quincy LaCroix and "King of Submission" Quinn Charbonneau,
The Q's!

[Big face pop for the two former champs as "Another One Bites The
Dust" by Queen begins to play.  They roll into the ring under the
bottom rope, waving to the fans as they get to their feet.]

JL: Introducing next...  From Inglewood and Hollywood, California
respectively...  Weighing in at a combined four hundred and
eighty-three pounds...  Tyson Bryson and "Hollywood" Matt James,
Debonair!

[Big heel pop as "Debonaire" by Dope blasts over the P.A.  They
walkdown to the ring with matching "MotR VI" tank tops.  This gets a
nice face pop...  For the shirts, not the "men" wearing them.  They
roll into the ring, trash talking The Q's...  From behind the ref.]

JL: Introducing next...  From Detroit, Michigan and South
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania...

[Big face pop for the hometown hero.]

JL: Weighing in at a combined six hundred and eight pounds...
Blacktop and The Rebel, Hell On Earth!

[GIGANTIC face pop as Hell On Earth walk out to the strains of "The
Unforgiven" by Metallica.  They stop at the top of the ramp way were
they cut to their signature pose, Blacktop standing in the back of The
Rebel with his fist high in the air and The Rebel in his infamous
crucifix pose. The Rebel supports a pretty banged up right hand.  They
make their way to the ring. The Rebel slides under the bottom rope as
Blacktop steps over the top rope. The Rebel slumps in the corner as
Blacktop pumps his fist in the air to another great huge reaction from
the crowd. These two men look over the four men that stand before them
and just shake their heads in disappointment.]

MH: Okay, that's three teams...  Who's the fourth?  Did they actually
find someone to replace the Mob Squad?"

BW: Well if it is whoever took them bums out, then these three teams
are in BIG trouble!

[And with that the speaks ignite with a strange, electronic beat.
Strangely recognizable to some, especially all you marks out there,
the song picks up in tempo until the unmistakable voice of Cypress
Hill's B-Real hits...]

#From the wasteland#
#Cold steel under my waste band#
#Hazardous times#
#Enemy lines drawn in the middle of the street#
#The concrete's stained with blood#
#I still got to eat#

[The voice gets more gravely, as "Back the Fuck Up" by Fear Factory
and B-Real continues to play.]

#When I hit the street I make the man understand#
#I fought with flesh and bled like a man#
# I rode that edge of darkness my friend#
#Stood up to the enemy so life could begin#

[And the song hits into full force, blazing over the PA system as the
fans turn, some cheering, some booing, but all knowing what is about
to happen.]

#YOU KNOW!#
#YOU"VE GOT TO!#
#BACK THE FUCK UP!#

MH: Oh no...

BW: If this is who I think it is...  OH YES~!

#YOU KNOW!#
#YOU"VE GOT TO!#
#BACK THE FUCK UP!#

[The entrance curtains slowly open up, a black gloved hand reaching
through, pulling them apart.  The crowd is eerily quiet...and EXPLODES
as the two men step through.  Two very infamous men...]

MH: OH MY GAWWWWWWWWWWWD!!  KILL ARMY IS IN BSCW!! KILL ARMY IS HERE!!

BW: These two are the most dangerous men ANYWHERE!  There has never
been a tag team like these two...NEVER!  The Kill Army tore everyone
apart in the ACW!

MH: And they are here!

[The fans EXPLODE...  Cheers and boos raining down on the two men, two
men adorned for war.  Reverend Black is the taller of the two, a large
man by any standards.  An evil, scary grin is plastered across his
face, a shovel lays across his back.  Adorned in a preachers outfit...
 Yes, you read that right...  The dangerous black man from Compton
stands behind his partner, jacket open, black shirt underneath.  Lupe
Blanco stands in front of him twirling a cheesegrater in one hand, the
other holding a thick oaken axe handle over his shoulder.  Blanco,
shorter and squat...  And a mutt, is dressed in a pair of baggy jeans,
black boots, and a red Kill Army T-shirt.  Of course both wear black
gloves and steel toe ass kickers]

#YOU KNOW!#
#YOU"VE GOT TO!#
#BACK THE FUCK UP!#
#BACK UP OFF OF MEEEEEE!!!#

[The pair pause, looking about the audience, smiling wide smiles as
they look to their opponents...  Their oh so frickin' dead opponents.]

#YOU KNOW!#
#YOU"VE GOT TO!#
#BACK THE FUCK UP!#
#BACK UP OFF OF MEEEEEE!!!#

#BACK UP OFF OF MEEEEEE!!!#
#OFF OF MEEEEE!!#
#OFF OF MEEEEE!!#

[No sooner than that do the pair charge the ring, obviously getting
this one underway.]

BW: And here we go!  All four teams are in the ring at the same time!
The ref's trying to establish some order here, but with the Kill Army
that's just about impossible!

[Lupe Blanco has Tyson Bryson in a headlock, and tosses the cheese
grater to Reverend Black.  Black gets ready to nail Bryson with it...]

MH: The ref gets in the way!  Man, you wouldn't see me doing that!
Blanco looks pissed!  He shoves Bryson away, digs in his pants
pocket...

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: DA FORK~!  I can't believe it!  The ref goes down!  But that isn't
enough for Kill Army!  Lupe picks the ref up by the head...  And sure
enough he's been sliced open with DA FORK~!  Blanco whips him to the
ropes as Black picks up that shovel...  No way...

[CLANG!]

HW: What in the blue hell?!  They just bashed the ref in the face with
the shovel!  The ref is out cold!  Everything is going completely
insane, as there is _no_ official in this match at all!  The Q's are
double teaming Bryson, trying to kick his damn teeth in!  Blacktop
gets in Lupe Blanco's face...  Only to get smashed in the face with
that damned cheese grater!  This is nuts!  The Rebel rolls out of the
ring as Matt James makes the save for his partner, nailing Quincy
LaCroix with a Reverse DDT!  James helps Bryson up, and the two send
Quinn Charbonneau crashing to the canvas with a Double Clothesline!
But look, The Rebel's re-entering the ring, this time with two steel
chairs!

[Double THWACK!]

BW: One Man Conchairto!  He laid them out, sending both of their empty
skulls crashing into each other!  Now he's charging at Kill Army...
But only meets the big boot of Reverend Black to the face!  Black nods
at Lupe...  Who busts out a pizza cutter!  He's on top of Rebel as
Black steps on Blacktop's throat...  And is slicing up The Rebel's
forehead with the pizza cutter!  YEAH!  You gotta love these guys!

MH: Or not.  Both The Q's and Debonair are back to their feet, and
they've got a pier six brawl going in!

BW: Digging into the big bag o' wrestling clichÔøΩs I see...

MH: Shut your hole.  Charbonneau locks up with Bryson...  And James
gets LaCroix in a Side Headlock.  And look at this!  Bryson and James
get whipped to the ropes, criss-cross fashion!  Bryson ducks a
Clothesline attempt by Quinn, and rocks him with a Superkick...  While
James gets caught in the Quinninoku Driver!  Quincy goes for the
cover...  One...  Two...  He's pulled off by Bryson!

[Bryson goes for another Superkick on Quincy, but LaCroix grabs his
foot, drops to the mat and...]

[Crowd: How's Your Dick?! How's Your Dick?! How's Your Dick?! How's
Your Dick?! How's Your Dick?! How's Your Dick?! How's Your Dick?!
How's Your Dick?!]

MH: OUCH!  Quincy dropped to the mat and sent his foot hurtling into
Bryson's...  Umm...  Nether regions.

BW: Cock and balls works too.  Remember, no censors baybee!

MH: You're hopeless.  Meanwhile, Blacktop takes a cue from Quincy and
raises his arm...  And locks a Testicular Claw on the Rev!  Rev lets
up, taking his foot off of Blacktop's throat...  And Blacktop is on
his feet!  He releases the claw...  Only to grab Black by the throat!
Chokeslam!  NO~!  Black with a wild knee that hits home on Blacktop's
nose!  They go tumbling to the outside over the tope rope!  Lupe seems
bored with cutting up Rebel’s face, so he tosses him out of the
ring!  What's this?

[Lupe reaches behind him and pulls out the ax handle (minus the blade,
thankfully) and yells "Come get it, bitches!" at The Q's and
Debonair.]

BW: What balls!  He's going to take on both teams!  Here comes
Debonair...

[THWACK!]

[THWACK!]

MH: That should come as a surprise to no one.

BW: Yeah, that's pretty much what I figured was going to happen.
Debonair is out cold thanks to two expert swings from Lupe Blanco.
Here comes the Q's...

[Blanco swings at Quincy who ducks...]

[WHACK!]

MH: Superkick!  Blanco drops the handle as Quinn circles him...

[Pop!]

BW: Total Elimination!  They clocked him!  But there's no fuggin...
ref!

MH: The Q's have this won, but with no ref, no dice!  Quincy is pissed
off as hell!

[Quincy grabs Lupe by the head, and pulls him up.  As he does, Blanco
puts his hand down the back of his pants, pulling something out.]

BW: Oh no, not more turds!

[Nope.  Quincy pulls him up all the way and...]

[Hardcore Pop!]

MH: GOOD LORD!

BW: ~!

MH: Lupe Blanco has just shot Quincy with a damned staple gun!

BW: In the fucking EYE~!  Quinn can't believe it!  Lupe is laughing
his ass off, kicking Quincy out of the ring!  He runs in...  _Big_
forearm to the back of Lupe's head!  Blanco goes down like a big heavy
thing!

MH: A big heavy thing?

BW: Shut up.  He picks him up...  Teardrop Suplex!  Lupe gets back to
his feet...  Cradle DDT!  Now Quinn's just laying in stiff kicks to
Blanco's mouth!  He's lost his damn mind!  He picks Lupe up by the
head...  Dragon Suplex!  He holds onto it!  He lifts him up...  And
hits another Dragon Suplex!  It's the Series of Q!  He almost has it
completed! He lifts him up for the Full Nelson Bomb...

[Quinn lifts him up...  But in mid-air Lupe pulls out a by now
familiar shiny metal object out of his pants...]

BW: DA FORK~!

[Hardcore Pop!]

MH: Sick!  He just jabbed it in Quinn's neck!  Blanco drops to the mat
harmlessly, as Quinn puts a hand to his neck, trying to slow down the
blood flow!  But like a shark, Lupe closes in for the kill, and jabs
Quinn in the face with that infernal fork!

BW: No...  It's DA FORK~!  Man, I think I love these guys.  Anyway,
Blanco tosses Quinn out of the ring, and looks to see Blacktop and the
Rev duking it out at ringside.  Blanco runs to the ropes and...

[Puro Pop!]

MH: PLANCHA~!  This maniac can do something besides stab?  Blacktop is
down, and Blanco helps Black to his feet.  They rush to where
Charbonneau is on the ground.

[Lupe pulls out a table, as Black pulls out a ladder.  Blanco sets up
the table, and Black lays the ladder on top of it, lying down.  Black
picks Quinn up...]

[THUD!]

BW: Piledriver!  On the concrete floor!  Black gets back to his feet
as Quincy makes a last ditch effort to save his partner.  Quincy must
be nuts, he has one good eye, and one filled with blood thanks to DA
FORK~!

[WHACK!]

MH: Kawada Kick!  Quincy is out!

[Black props Quincy on the table (which is on the table).  Meanwhile,
Blanco picks Quinn up and whips him to the corner...]

[CRASH!]

BW: Quinn goes crashing into the steel ring steps!  Now what's this?
Blanco climbs up onto the ring apron...  As Black gets on the table,
setting Quincy for a...  NO!!  Someone stop them~!

[CRASH!]

[Horrified Gasps / Bloodlust Pop!]

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: I have to agree...  HOLY SHIT~!

MH:  Those bastards!  Spiked Piledriver!  Onto the ladder, through the
table!  LaCroix might very well be crippled folks!  Will someone get
down here, we need some order here!

[Yep.  Down comes a new, unbloodied referee with a squad of security
guards.  After a few minutes of struggle, security gets the Kill Army
in handcuffs and leads them kicking and screaming out of the arena!
EMT's then rush down to the ringside area, helping Quincy onto a
stretcher and putting a neckbrace on him, carefully, as the security
guards left at ringside help Quinn get back to his feet.  He isn't
able to stand without help however, so they help him limp out of the
arena and presumably in the ambulance with Quincy.  Jared Lord speaks
with the new ref, and then turns on the microphone.]

JL: Ladies and gentlemen...  The Kill Army has been disqualified, and
as such they are eliminated!

[Pop!]

JL: The Q's have been deemed unable to continue, so they two have been
eliminated.

[Heel Pop!]

JL: The Match will continue with Debonair and Hell On Earth.  Whoever
gets the next decision in their favor will be the winner!

[The crowd pops, as Debonair gets in position in the ring, and The
Rebel helps Blacktop to his feet outside.  The two teams confer, and
decide on who gets to be the legal man.]

MH: Well, it looks like we're finally going to have something
resembling a normal tag team match, as The Rebel and Tyson Bryson have
elected to start it off for their respective teams.  Collar and elbow
tie up...  And The Rebel gets Irish Whipped to the ropes.  Bryson
falls to the mat as The Rebel hits the ropes...  Rebel rebounds, leaps
over Bryson and goes to the ropes on the other side...  Where he
catches a knee to the small of the back from James!  He grabs his back
with one hand, wincing in pain as Bryson kips up...  And hits him with
a Swinging DDT!

[Blacktop starts to get in to help The Rebel, but the ref cuts him
off.  Debonair uses this to their advantage, as James runs in and
picks Rebel up by the head, putting him in a Bearhug.]

BW: Bryson runs to the ropes...  Rebounds...  And it's a HART ATTACK~!
 Hart Attack Clothesline!  Stick a fork in him, but not DA FORK~!...
He's done.

MH: Thank you, Running Gag Man.  Bryson goes for the cover as James
rolls out of the ring...  One...  Two...  Thr...  NO!!  Blacktop makes
the save, pulling him off The Rebel!  He picks Bryson up, by the head,
and whips him into the corner.  He starts to help The Rebel up...  But
here comes James!  James comes off the ropes, takes flight and...
Tornado DDT!  He surprised the hell out of Blacktop!  Meanwhile, Rebel
is up, and charges at Bryson.

[As Rebel charges, Bryson starts to charge out of the corner,
resulting in them bonking heads at top speed for a double knockout.]

BW: Yikes!  Both men are down, and James is looking to do some
additional damage to The Rebel!

[But before he can, a large hand grabs him by the shoulder and spins
him around...]

MH: Blacktop!  He's up!  Kick to the gut!  He sets him up...

[WHAM!]

MH: Career Ender!  That might be it right there...  One...  Two...
Three!  YES!

JL: Your winners and number one contenders for the BSCW Tag Team
Championships...  Blacktop and The Rebel, Hell On Earth!

["The Unforgiven" re-plays to a huge face pop.  Blacktop picks The
Rebel up and hoists him over his shoulder.  Blacktop walks back up the
ramp with The Rebel over his shoulder and the crowd is still chanting
"H-O-E!, H-O-E!, H-O-E!"

BW: Damn.  That was a _war_.

MH: That it was.  Luckily for Hell On Earth, they have some time to
recuperate before they go for the gold.  Speaking of gold, up next
we...

["Hell's Bells" by AC/DC begins to play through the P.A. system and
both the Richard "The Truck" Harris and Taurus make their way down the
ring.  Taurus is dressed in his normal wrestling attire whereas Harris
is wearing a tee-shirt that reads, "Jesus loves you, but the rest of
us think you're an asshole", and a pair of faded blue jeans.  He is
wearing a belt buckle that resembles many dinner plates.  On his feet
are a pair of good old fashioned cowboy boots.  The two enter the
ring, and each grab a microphone.]

Harris:  Well earlier tonight you saw exactly what I was fuckin'
capable of doin'.  Dan and Damian were just examples of what I can do.
 But now I have to focus on the current champ, Sykopath.  Another
retard that can't spell his own name.  I didn't realize hirin' the
handicapped was something BSCW had to be involved with.  Sykopath,
you're very good at beating people up with stuff.  Well I'm fuckin'
better.  I'm bigger, I'm nastier and hell my head is certainly screwed
on a lot fuckin' tighter.  You're fuckin' loopy.  It's a wonder the
guys with the white coats haven't caught your ass. That's something I
don't have to worry about.

Taurus:  Sure, I may not have won the North American Rumble tonight,
but like I've said before, that is not the way that I want to win a
title.  Tonight, I have bigger fish to fry, and that fish is Deadly
Derek Irvin.  You see tonight at the main event, Derek you and I will
be facing each other for the first time that I've been back.  I
promise you this, Derek I will get my hands on you, and retribution
will start this night.

Finally, I will be able to be in the ring with the man that wreaked
havoc and destroyed all that I've worked on during my stay here in
BSCW.  DDI now is the time for to start to pay for you indiscretions.

Harris:  Yeah, I can finally put that O'Riordan retard out to pasture
where his sorry ass belongs.  Because both O'Riordan and Sykopath you
will know what it is to be in the ring with the "Redneck Wrecking
Machine".  [Begins to speak with a Hoganesque sound in his voice.]  So
brothers whatcha' ya both gonna do when Redneckamania runs wild on
you?

[Holds in arms in a Hogan like pose and stares into the camera.]

Taurus: [looks at Harris in disbelief for a second, then speaks
again.]  Tonight, there will be something that each and every one of
you will want to pay attention too.  There will be a reunion of sorts
on this night.  I have said too much.  See you later Derek!

[The two hand their microphones over to Jared Lord at the other side
of the ring.  They both walk over as "Attitude" by the Misfits echo
through the arena.  The scene then fades backstage, where Mike
Phillabaum is standing by with Tyson Bryson.]

MP: Tyson Bryson, tonight you find yourself in the finals of the
Cruiserweight title tournament, despite the fact that you exceed the
weight limit specified by...

TB: I DO NOT! I HAVE OFFICIAL SIGNED DOCUMENTS! I'M THE RIGHT WEIGHT!

MP: Okay...  Right. So, tonight you take on Shrapnel. Your thoughts?

TB: Mikey Mike, tonight I'm on a mission. I'm on a mission to save the
fans of Blood, Sweat and Chairs Wrestling.

[Pause.]

TB: That's right. I'm all about catering to the fans needs...

[He pauses to laugh.]

TB: ...so tonight, I have to take down Shrapnel. Why? Because Shrapnel
is the most boring, pathetic, annoying piece of filth I have ever
seen! Come on, this guy makes Marilyn Manson look like Martin Prince.
Hey Shrapnel, I've never been a fan of the goth look, it kind of makes
you look... Well... You know... Gay.

[Tyson pauses to laugh again.]

TB: I mean, I think the fans really WANT to cheer for you. You're fast
and hit some big moves occasionally. You prove your manhood by taking
chair shots to the back and having people write messages on your face
in blood. But every fan here tonight thinks the same thing... "How can
I cheer a sloppy fuckup like that?"

[Matt James, Tyson's tag team partner, now arrives on the scene.]

MJ: Wow, that sure was a shit kicking we took in that tag team match,
huh?

TB: Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna go win the Cruiserweight title now, okay?

MJ: Oh yeah? Cool. Hey, you're facing Shrapnel, right? Ha. What a
putz.

TB: No kidding. Time to grift him over and win the title. Hey Matt,
want to come to the ring with me and cheat and help me win?

MJ: Sounds good to me. Show Shrapnel what being THE MOST ENTERTAINING
TANDEM IN SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT TODAY is all about.

TB: Yeah. Later Mike.

[They walk off, as Mike shakes his head.]

MP: Back to you guys.

[We fade back to the arena, and to Bil Withonel and Matt Heath.]

BW: Thanks, Mikey.  Well, there you have it.  Bryson hopes to make up
for what has been a largely disappointing night for Greed so far by
taking home the BSCW Cruiserweight Championship.  Let's head to the
ring.

JL: The following match is for the BSCW Cruiserweight Championship!

[Pop!]

JL: It is scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit.
Introducing first...  Accompanied to the ring by "Hollywood" Matt
James...  From Inglewood, California...  Weighing in at "Just around a
bushel"...  Representing Greed...  Tyson Bryson!

["Debonaire" by Dope blasts over the P.A. as Bryson and James make
their way out to a big heel pop.  They roll into the ring, discussing
strategy as they wait for Bryson's opponent.]

JL: And his opponent...  From Highlands, Maine...  Weighing in at two
hundred and ten pounds...  Shrapnel!

[The lights cut out as "Concentrate" by Crossbreed blares over the
P.A. Red pyrotechnics blasts off as Shrapnel steps out on stage. His
head Covered in a black stretch mask with a silver anarchy symbol. He
is shirtless and wearing baggy black cargo pants, with silver slashes
on them, and a pair of black boots. The crowd pops loud for Shrapnel.
He pauses on the way to the ring and looks at Bryson, then shakes his
head and continues.]

MH: Alright, we're just about underway here...  But what's this?
Bryson and James are complaining that Shrapnel's boots are loaded?
How in the hell would they know?  Well, the ref re-checks Shrapnel's
boots nonetheless...

[As he's doing that, James and Bryson go to the corner, and take off
padding from the top turnbuckle.  They get a nice heel pop for this.]

BW: Old School!  Always nice to see.

MH: Whatever.  It'll take more than "The Hart Foundation's Greatest
Hit" to beat Shrapnel.  As we've seen time and time again,
particularly in the Taipei Death match with Sykopath and Whiskey Jakk,
Shrapnel's as tough as they come.

BW: Amen to that.  They make their way to the center of the ring, and
Bryson offers his hand for a shake.  It's so seldom that we see a sign
of good sportsmanship like this.

MH: Oh please...  Shrapnel's not going to fall for the oldest trick in
the book, is he?

[Shrapnel looks down at Bryson's outstretched hand, then at the crowd
in a "Should I?" manner.]

[Face Pop!]

MH: Shrapnel with a stiff shot to the face!  Bryson is reeling, and
Shrapnel is nailing him with a lightning fast series of shots to the
head...  Followed by a stiff kick to Bryson's side!  Bryson leans
over, holding his side in pain.  Shrapnel has him by the hair...  And
brings his knee smashing into Bryson's face!

[Bryson falls to the canvas, holding his face.  Shrapnel runs to the
ropes, jumps on the second rope and...]

[High Flying Pop!]

[WHAM!]

BW: WOW~!  Asai Leg Drop!  What a freakin' move!  He goes for the
cover...  One...  Just a count of one, as Tyson kicks out.  Shrapnel
picks Bryson up by the head...  And drives his head into the canvas
with a vicious DDT.  He rolls to the outside...  And grabs a chair!
Hey, moron!  This isn't a hardcore match!

MH: I think for Shrapnel _every_ match is a Hardcore Match.  He's up
on the apron...  But so is Matt James!  Meanwhile, Bryson is up, and
gets in the ref's face, completely obstructing his view!  James and
Shrapnel are having a tug of war over that chair...  OOF!  James with
a kick to the gut and...

[THWACK!]

BW: A killer chair shot by Matt James!  Shrapnel falls to the floor...
 And James follows him down.  James is standing over Shrapnel, waiting
for him to get up so he can whack him again with the chair...

[Shrapnel gets up, and James swings the chair...]

MH: He missed!  Shrapnel ducks and goes around James...  Who spins
around...

[THWACK!]

[Pop!]

MH: Dispersement!  His version of the Van Daminator, and he clocked
Matt James with it! Back in the ring, Shrapnel falls to the mat as
Bryson charges, forcing Tyson to jump over him.  He's back to his feet
as Bryson hits the ropes...  Bryson rebounds...  Shrapnel ducks
down...

[THUD!]

[Crowd: Ref Bump! Ref Bump! Ref Bump! Ref Bump! Ref Bump! Ref Bump!
Ref Bump! Ref Bump!]

BW: You heard the marks in the crowd, the ref's out!  Bryson went for
a Flying Cross Body, but Shrapnel ducked down, and the ref too the
full brunt of the impact!  Looks like it's anything goes!

MH: What the hell is this?  Two matches, and two refs go down?  At
least neither of them had a fork...

BW: DA FORK~!

MH: Shut up.

[James runs in, and hits Shrapnel with a Spinning Heel Kick to the
back of the head.  The two lay the boots to Shrapnel until...]

[Face Pop!]

BW: He's here!

MH: He is...  And he's wearing a ref's uniform...  It's Sykopath!  Hey
Carver did it in his match. So it was only a matter of time before he
did it in someone else's!  Syko slides in, and James slides out!
Bryson gets in Sykopath's face, arguing with him...  And Shrapnel gets
a School Boy!  Syko dives to start the count...  But it doesn't even
get a count of one!

BW: Say what you will of Debonair's personalities, they don't go down
easy.

MH: Yeah, like cockroaches.

BW: Did you just make a joke?

MH: Yeah, and...

BW: [Cutting him off.]  Don't.  They lock, up...  And Shrapnel scores
with a Side Headlock.  Bryson gets out of it, whipping Shrapnel to the
ropes.  Shrapnel rebounds...  And gets rocked with a Clothesline by
Tyson!

[Tyson goes to the ropes, taunting the fans.  He ignores the shouting
of Matt James, who's trying to warn him that Shrapnel has just gotten
back to his feet.  Shrapnel sneaks up behind Bryson, hooking his head
and leg.]

[WHAM!]

MH: Side Russian Leg Sweep!  He caught Bryson napping!  Tyson rolls
onto his stomach, holding the back of his head in pain.  Shrapnel sees
his opportunity, goes to the ropes...  Rebounds and...  Leg Drop to
the back of the head!  I'll bet Tyson would kill for a bottle of Advil
right about now!

[Just then, Matt James jumps up on the apron, screaming at Syko to
open his eyes.  Syko gets in James' face and throws a punch.  Syko
blocks it and...]

[Pop!]

BW: James goes down!  Syko grabbed him by the back of the head and
dropped him throat first on the top rope in a variation of a Hot Shot!
 And yeah, the crowd's going nuts, but what about fair officiating?  I
could let is slide when Carver did it, since that match was supposed
to be out of control, but this is a Cruiserweight Match.  It's
supposed to be he who flies and wrestles better that wins, not because
of some clusterfuck!

MH: That may be, but it's a little late to contest the point, Syko's
here, and like it or not, he's the ref for now!  Tyson Low Blows
Shrapnel behind Syko's back...  But Syko _did_ the end of that!  He
spins around...  And blasts Bryson in the face with a stiff right
hand!  Bryson crashes to the mat!  Shrapnel grabs Tyson by the head,
and whips him into the corner.  He props Bryson up on the top rope,
sets him up...

[Pop!]

[THUD!]

BW: Frankensteiner!  Off the top rope!  Shrapnel rolls over for the
pin...  One...  Two...  NO!!  James rolls in at the last possible
moment to break up the count!  Syko gets ready to attack James...  But
shockingly, Shrapnel gets in Sykopath's face!  It looks like he's
complaining about a slow count!  Sykopath shoves him...

[WHACK!]

MH: And Shrapnel floors him with the C-4!  Shrapnel's signature
Superkick, and it floors the Sykotik One!

[Shrapnel poses and sucks in the mix of cheers and boos from the
audience, as Matt James run in from behind.]

BW: Hollywood Havoc!  He planted him!  James gets Shrapnel in
position, and locks in a Camel Clutch!  Bryson comes off the ropes...
Low Dropkick to the face!  It's Show Me The Money!

MH: It's also cheating.  James rolls out of the ring, as Bryson goes
for the cover.  One...  Two...  Shrapnel gets his foot on the bottom
rope!  Frustrated, Bryson picks Shrapnel up by the head...

[Pop!]

MH: But Shrapnel rolls him up in a Small Package!  One...  Two...
NO!!  Bryson _barely_ kicks out!  Shrapnel picks Bryson up by the
head, and whips him to the ropes.

[As Tyson hits the ropes, Shrapnel charges and barely ducks a
Clothesline from Bryson.  They both hit the ropes and rebound.]

[WHACK!]

[Pop!]

BW: Damn!  Shrapnel with an awesome Dropkick!  He nearly took Tyson's
head off with that one!  Shrapnel picks up Bryson, and slaps on a
Hammerlock, but in a rare show of wrestling ablility...  Bryson
reverses it, and floats it into an Abdominal Stretch!  He's using the
top rope for leverage!  Sykopath is up, and sees it, but Bryson
releases his hand from the rope.  He still has it on, but what's this?
 He lays his leg over the back of Shrapnel's head, floating it into an
Octopus Stretch!

[WHAM!]

MH: Grifted!  He nailed it!  He hooks the leg as Syko starts to
count...  One...  Two...  Thre...  NO!!  Shrapnel kicks out!  Bryson
picks Shrapnel up by the head, and hooks him up for a Backslide!
One...  Two...  Shrapnel lifts his shoulder, and turns it around, so
that Bryson has his shoulder's pinned!  One...  Two...  NO!!  Bryson
lifts his right shoulder!  Shrapnel floats it into a Full Nelson, and
lifts Bryson to his feet...

[THUD!]

[Pop!]

BW: No Man's Land!  But Bryson is getting up, well, more like
staggering...  C-4!  NO~!  Bryson shoved Sykopath in the way!  Syko
gets his second taste of C-4 in this match!  Bryson with a Clothesline
on Shrapnel, who rolls out of the ring.  Bryson chats with James as
they both harass the crowd...  But in rolls Shrapnel with a baseball
bat!

[THWACK!]

MH: Right across the face!  Bryson goes down!  Sykopath is starting to
stir as Shrapnel picks Bryson up by the head...

[THUD!]

[Pop!]

BW: Shrapnel Spike!  He hit it!  Syko starts the count...  One...
Two...  Three!  He did it!  We have a new champ!

JL: Your winner...  And _new_ BSCW Cruiserweight Champion...
Shrapnel!

[Shrapnel gets handed the belt by Sykopath, but shoves Syko away when
he tries to raise his hand.  He climbs up to the top, raises the belt
up to a big pop, and rolls out of the ring.]

MH: That was one hell of a match, Bil.

BW: Yep, and Bryson showed that he actually _can_ wrestle when he
needs to.

MH: Absolutely, but in the end, it was Shrapnel that got the duke.
Folks, up next, we have another title, or titles, being contested
over.  Earlier tonight, Hell On Earth got past The Q's, Kill Army and
Debonair to win the right to face the champs, "Deadly" Derek Irvin and
Whiskey Jakk.  The champions have been having their issues as of late,
while this will be the third time the challengers compete tonight.  It
won't be an easily won match for either team.  Another team whoever
walks out of here with the gold has to worry about is the Kill Army.
Earlier tonight they send The Q's out of the building on stretchers,
possibly ending the careers of the former tag team champions.  I
understand that Lupe Blanco and Reverand Black are currently
backstage.  Perhaps we can get a few words from them as to why they
did what they did.

[The scene cuts to the backstage area, devoid of anyone and in a
second you will see why.   No technicians, no wrestlers, no suit
wearing pansy ass officials.  Nope.  Only one thing...well two...

The Kill Army.

Lupe Blanco paces in front of a wall, the Rev...  Reverend Black...
Leans
against it, clutching a worn bible in his arms as he smiles a slight,
evil
chuckle coming from his gullet.   Lupe holds his axe handle over his
shoulder, covered in blood.  In his other hand...  A cheese grater,
also covered
in blood.  Poor, poor BSCW...]

LUPE (in a thick urban accent):  Ah yeah...  Ya think ya've seen da
last of
Kill Army mother fuckers?  Ya actually think we just going to sit back
'ere
and ain't gonna do a thing.

Well bitches...  You be wrong.

We ain't done...  Hell no.  We ain't finished...  Hell no.  We decided
since our
otha home was down fer a bit, we needed some new stompin' grounds.
Well
bitches...  Here we are.  Aren't ya just pissed?  I betch-yer sittin'
back in
yer little locker rooms, shittin' in yer pants and wishin' you ain't
come ta
work ta-day.  But ya did...  And fuck, wasn't that a bad choice?

[Lupe smiles, the camera panning to the Rev, his head still bowed, his
mouth
still a smile, and even as he talks, a chuckle still coming out.
Yeah, he's
a strange one.  Oh, I almost forgot...  He speaks in a voice not much
different than those TV evangelists you see at three in the morning.
You
know what I am talking about, the weird ones who slap people's
foreheads to
heal them.  Yeah, those slapnuts.]

REV:  Oh, ma brotha's...  Ma sista's...  We have come upon a great day
in the
history of the Kill Army...  In the history of the BSC-Dub.  We have
been sent
here on a mission from the Holy himself. Lupe, my brotha in arms, we
must
wage a holy war against the evil that has infiltrated the BSCW.

We, the Kill Army, are His warriors in this battle.  _I_ am His hand.
The
Horsemen ride again my brotha...  They ride once again.

[Lupe moves to Black's side, staring into the camera with a look none
to
nice.]

LUPE:  The Horsemen?  Shiiiiiiit, then I guess this is the fuckin'
Apocalypse...  And this fucking shit begins right here...  Tonight
mothafucka's...  Tonight.

Belie'e dat.

[And back to that smile...]

REV:  Hallelujah my brotha...

Hallelujah.

[The view switches to inside the ring, where Jared Lord is standing
by.  To his left is Goo, decked out in the biggest ref uniform money
can buy.]

JL: The following contest is for the BSCW Tag Team Championships!

[Pop!]

JL: It is scheduled for one fall with a forty minute time limit.
Introducing first...  From Detroit, Michigan and South Philadelphia,
Pennsylvania...

[Hometown Pop!]

JL: Weighing in at a combined six hundred and eight pounds...  The
Rebel and Blacktop, Hell On Earth!

["The Unforgiven" by Metallica blast over the P.A. The Rebel walks out
holding his ribs. The Rebel extends one arm in his crucifix pose while
Blacktop stands behind him with his fist in the air. They make their
way down the ring. Blacktop steps over the top rope and The Rebel
slides under the bottom rope very slowly. And slowly slumps in the
corner as they wait the arrival of the Blood, Sweat and Chairs
Wrestling Tag Team Champions, "Deadly" Derek Irvin and Whiskey Jakk.]

JL: And their opponents...  From Oakland, California and
Winston-Salem, North Carolina respectively...  Weighing in at a
combined five hundred and thirty-eight pounds...  Representing
Greed...  They are the undisputed BSCW Tag Team Champions...  Whiskey
Jakk and "Deadly" Derek Irvin!

["Money Talks" by AC/DC blasts over the P.A. as the champs make their
way down to the ring to a mostly negative reaction, although there are
a few chants of "JAKK!" here and there.  Derek has his World
Championship belt hung over his right shoulder, while the huge Whiskey
has his tag strap hanging over his left shoulder, and Derek's hanging
over his right.  Derek is his usual self, but Whiskey seems bothered
by something, and interacts neither with Derek or the fans at
ringside.  Derek rolls climbs up on the ring apron and trash talks the
fans at ringside, but Whiskey simply rolls into the ring and quietly
hands the tag belts over to the ref.]

MH: Bil, it certainly appears that all the rumored problems between
Irvin and Jakk were well founded.

BW: Yep, they're not even looking at each other.  Well, they better
get it together quick, Hell On Earth is not a team to play around
with.

MH: Certainly not.  At any rate, it appears that The Rebel and
"Deadly" Derek Irvin will be starting us out tonight.  They lock up,
and Irvin whips Rebel to the ropes.  Rebel rebounds, and ducks a Back
Elbow attempt by Irvin!  Rebel rebounds off the other side...  And
gets caught in a Sleeper Hold!  The Rebel's fighting it, but Irvin has
it locked in solid!  Rebel's fading fast...

[WHOMP!]

BW: But he fires an elbow into Irvin's abdomen!  And another!  He's
just about out of the Sleeper...

[THUD!]

BW: Or not!  DDI puts The Rebel down with a Sleeper Drop!  He hooks
the leg...  One...  Two...  NO!  Blacktop runs in to make the save!

[Irvin calls for Jakk to come in to help him double team The Rebel.]

[Pop!]

MH: What the?  Jakk just flipped Derek Irvin off!  These two are
_definitely_ not on the same page!

BW: No kidding!  They're part of the biggest group in BSCW, but they
can't even get along in a tag match?  What gives?

[DDI gets up and gets right in Jakk's face.  He's clearly outraged at
Jakk's refusal to help him cheat.  Just then, The Rebel walks up
behind Irvin.]

[THUD!]

[THUD!]

[THUD!]

MH: The Rebel's signature trio of Russian Leg Sweeps!  Did you see how
Jakk didn't even bother to warn Irvin?

BW: I know it...  Things are not going well for the current champs.

[The Rebel stands over DDI rasing his arms up in the form of a
crucifix.]

[THUD!]

MH: BOOM!  Out of nowhere Irvin kips up and nails Rebel with the
Backlash DDT!  He picks Rebel up by the head, and whips him into the
corner.  Jakk slaps Irvin on the back, and gets the unwanted tag in!
DDI is not pleased at all!

BW: Yeah, but he goes out to the apron anyway, perhaps sensing that he
and Jakk have the momentum flowing their way right now, and not
wanting to damage that.  Jakk whips Rebel to the opposite corner of
the ring, and charges...

[Pop!]

MH: Cactus Clothesline to the outside!  He's really pummeling The
Rebel, who has not fared well thus far in this contest.

[SMACK!]

BW: Short Arm Roundhouse Kick sends The Rebel reeling!  Now Whiskey is
choking The Rebel out on the steel guard railing!  Jakk is taking no
prisoners tonight!

[Just then, Blacktop charges at Whiskey and nails him with a stiff
elbow to the back of the head.]

MH: Jakk lets go...  And gets rammed back-first into the ring apron!
Ouch!  The Rebel regains his composure and gets Whiskey in position...

[THUD!]

[THUD!]

BW: Two consecutive Russian Leg Sweeps!  He has Jakk up for a third
one...

[CLANG!]

[Crowd: Re-bel! Re-bel! Re-bel! Re-bel! Re-bel! Re-bel! Re-bel!
Re-bel!]

MH: Good Lord!  Russian Leg Sweep into the steel ring post!  That was
as effective as it was sick!  Goo really needs to make then bring it
back to the ring though.  Which he does, as Rebel rolls Jakk back into
the ring, and then follows him in.  He drags the big man to the
corner, and tags in Blacktop.  Jakk gets up...  And ducks a
Clothesline attempt from Blacktop!  Blacktop turns around...  And gets
rocked with a Rolling Lariat!  Blacktop shows amazing agility, and
kips up...  And immediately slugs it out with Whiskey Jakk!

[Blacktop staggers Jakk with a stiff shot to the throat and signals
for a Chokeslam.]

BW: NO!!  Jakk with an Eye Rake, and he whips Blacktop into the
corner...  No, reversal!  Blacktop charges, going for a Big Boot to
the face...

[Crowd: You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up!
You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up! You Fucked Up!]

MH: Whiskey spins out of the way, and Blacktop gets nothing but air
with that Big Boot!  His leg his tied up in the rope!  Jakk runs to
the other side of the ring...  And here he comes with the Oakland
Avalanche!

[Pop!]

BW: Blacktop got free...  And stunned Jakk with a Standing Spinkick to
the face!  That _definitely_ took the wind out of Whiskey Jakk!
Blacktop gets him in position...

[WHAM!]

MH: Implant Spinebuster!  Blacktop goes for the cover, hooking the
leg...  One...  Two...  Jakk gets his right shoulder up!  Blacktop
rolls off of him, and tags in The Rebel.

[As Rebel enters the ring, Blacktop puts the boots to Whiskey.  Rebel
enters, and climbs up onto the second rope.  Blacktop ignores Goo as
the Gooster orders him to go out on the ring apron.  Blacktop picks
Jakk up by the head and gets him up...]

[WHAM!]

[BIG Pop!]

BW: Damn~!  Spiked Tombstone Piledriver!  That might be it right
there!  The Rebel goes for the cover...  But Goo taps on his shoulder,
pointing out that Jakk's leg is on the bottom rope.  Itw as a big
move, but it was basically all for nothing, Matt.

MH: Well, it _did_ put some serious hurt on Whiskey, so they have to
be pleased with that.  Rebel picks Whiskey up, and sets him up for a
Short Arm Clothesline...

[Rebel reels Whiskey in, but Jakk ducks the Clothesline, turning it
into...]

BW: Torture Rack!  He has The Rebel up...  And _down_ with a
Backbreaker!  Jakk staggers to his feet and rebounds off the ropes...
Whiskey Elbow! What a comeback!

[Jakk turns to pose for the fans, and to his surprise, gets a baby
face pop!]

BW: The fans cheering for a member of Greed?  What's the world coming
to?

MH: Obviously his brutal matches with Harris and the Taipei Death
Match have garnered him some fans...  Look!  Irvin is up on the top
rope!

[Irvin smiles at Jakk, flips him off and...]

[WHAM!]

BW: DDI!  He hit the DDI on The Rebel!  But instead of going for the
pin, Jakk gets in Irvin's face!

[Jakk shoves Irvin to the floor to a big pop from the crowd, screaming
about "This is my time!"  Meanwhile, The Rebel crawls to one knee.]

BW: He rolls him up!  One...  Two...  Kickout!  And now we see how the
dissension in the ranks is hurting the champs.   The Rebel was very
close to stealing a win there, Matt.

MH: Definitely not a great first title defense for Whiskey and Irvin,
that's for sure.   Jakk is enraged, and he charges at The Rebel...
Who takes him down with a Drop Toe Hold!  Jakk gets up again...

[Pop!]

BW: Kiss Of Death!  He walked right into it!  Rebel has him in
position...  He's going to put him away with the Confederate Drop!

[The Rebel kicks his feet in the air and...]

[THUD!]

[CRASH!]

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

MH: WOW!  Jakk pushed Rebel off in mid-air...  Sending The Rebel
crashing into Irvin, who goes flying into the steel guard railing!
The question is...  Was it intentional?

BW: At this point you really have to wonder...  And signs point to
yes, as Jakk is laughing!  What's this now?

[Jakk rolls out of the ring, and drags Irvin back onto the ring apron.
 He then helps DDI stand up on the apron.]

MH: Well, I guess it was an honest mistake after all...  WHAT?!  Jakk
just tagged in Irvin!  Irvin is pissed!  The Rebel staggers to his
feet, and puts a stop to the argument with a stiff shot to the side of
Irvin's head!

[THUD!]

BW: Rebel with a Vertical Suplex, sending Irvin into the ring the
_hard_ way!  He picks Irvin up by the head, and whips him to the
ropes.

[DDI rebounds, and Rebel ducks his head down for a Back Body Drop.]

MH: Irvin with a Sunset Flip...  But Irvin can't get him over!

[THUD!]

BW: The Rebel sits down, driving Irvin's head into the canvas!  He
goes for the cover...  One...  Two...  Thre...  Irvin barely escapes
defeat!  The Rebel gets up, and goes to the ropes...

[Rebel hits the ropes, but Whiskey grabs his hair and pulls, sending
The Rebel crashing to the mat.]

MH: Goo runs over and admonishes Jakk for the interference...  Which
allows Blacktop to make his presence known!

[Blacktop runs in and nails Irvin with a Clothesline to the back of
the head.  The Rebel gets to his feet as Blacktop holds DDI in a
Headlock, and gets Irvin in a Bearhug.]

BW: Blacktop goes to the ropes...  They're going to put Irvin away
with the Hart Attack Clothesline!

[WHAM!]

[Pop!]

MH: Big Boot to the face!  I've never seen that done before!  Irvin
goes down like a ton of bricks!  Blacktop taps Goo on the shoulder as
he rolls out of the ring!  Goo sees The Rebel going for the pin, and
dives to start the count...  And Whiskey isn't even making an attempt
at a save!  One...  Two...  Three!  New Champions crowned!

JL: Here are your winners...  And _new_ BSCW Tag Team Champions...
The Rebel and Blacktop, Hell On Earth!

["The Unforgiven" re-plays as Jakk walks away, back up the ramp.  As
Goo hands the belts to Blacktop and The Rebel, Irvin gets up, not able
to believe that he was just pinned, and rolls out of the ring, running
after Whiskey who has already made his way to the backstage area.
Hell on Earth will grab the BSCW Tag Team Championships from the
referee and exit the ring very quickly. They will exit through the
crowd but pause for a moment, long enough, to strike their pose,
Blacktop standing in the back of The Rebel with one of the BSCW Tag
Team Belts high in the air and The Rebel in his infamous crucifix pose
with the second BSCW Tag Team Championship.  Just then, they are hit
from behind, and tossed over the railing back into the ringside area.]

MH: What the hell's going on?

[The camera pans up to the crowd to see who attacked Hell On Earth.]

BW: Kill Army~!  They're back!  They jump the railing, and start
putting the boots to Blacktop and The Rebel!  They roll the new champs
back into the ring, and Black rolls in with his shovel in hand!

[Blacktop is the first to get up.  He's about to get to his feet when
Black breaks the handle of the shovel over his back.]

[HUGE Pop!]

MH: Blacktop is unphased!  He grabs Black by the throat...  He's going
to Chokeslam the life out of the Rev!

[Just then, Lupe Blanco rolls in with about ten cylindrical light
fixtures, all taped together.  He taps on Blacktop's shoulder, which
causes the big man to turn.]

[SMASH!]

[Hardcore Pop!]

BW: That stopped him!  Blacktop is a bloody mess, and the ring is now
littered with broken glass!  Lupe puts the boots to The Rebel as Black
rolls out and starts sliding tons of garbage into the ring...  He
rolls back in, whips The Rebel to the ropes as Lupe picks up that
cheese grater...

[Pop!]

MH: And nails Rebel right in the face with it!  They're dragging Rebel
in the corner, and sit him down after shoving an aluminum trash can
over his head!

[Black walks back...  And runs in with a big knee to the trash can!]

[Pop!]

BW: Yikes!  Rebel must be _really_ busted open after that!  They're
dragging him to the center of the ring...  Lupe's looking in his pants
for something, and Rebel better hope he's just playing pocket pool!

[Bloodletting Pop!]

BW: DA FORK~!

MH: Shut up you ass!  How in the hell can you be cheering for this?
Blacktop and The Rebel have given up everything for BSCW, and Kill
Army does this as payback?

BW: This isn't payback, Matt...  It's a statement.

[Lupe starts carving into Rebel's forehead with...]

BW: DA FORK~!

[To a huge heel pop.  The Rebel finally stops struggling, as he's
obviously blacked out from the pain.  "Back The Fuck Up" by Fear
Factory and B-Real plays to an insane heel pop as Kill Army stands
victorious over the unconscious BSCW Tag Team Champions.  They exit
with sick grins on their faces as security runs down to get them out.]

BW: Great security we have here.  They were supposed to kick Kill Army
out before.

MH: This is absolutely sickening.  Let's just go to the next match.

BW: Well, before we do, I'm being told there's some altercation going
on backstage between Whiskey Jakk and "Deadly" Derek Irvin.  Let's go
backstage to see what's going on.

[We cut backstage to where "Deadly" Derek Irvin and Whiskey Jakk are
both upset after losing the tag team titles to Hell on Earth.]

DDI: What the HELL were you doing out there?

WJ: Hold on, Derek, I'm SICK of you blaming me for everything around
here! I'm sick and tired of that crap, Derek.

DDI: Well at least I still have my world title, Whiskey, if you want
to mess up and lose the only thing you had that gave you ANY sense of
respectability whatsoever, it's your own fault.

WJ: No respect, Derek?

DDI: You're a LAUGHING STOCK, "Sgt. Sasser".

[There is a long pause as the strongman for Greed stares down the BSCW
world champion.]

WJ: Why don't you show me what a joke I am, Derek. At Season's
Bleedings... Why don't you put THAT on the line?

[Whiskey taps the world title that is slung over Irvin's shoulder.
Irvin doesn't say anything, taken slightly aback.]

WJ: What's that, Irvin?

DDI: Okay, okay, but I can't do that for you.

WJ: Why not, pussy?

DDI: Taurus is set to get a shot... But I tell you what. Vail has to
do what I say because I'm "DEADLY" DEREK IRVIN... So how about right
before the main event, you take on Taurus... And then winner gets me?
You want respect? Earn it.

[Jakk gets in DDI's face.]

WJ: You're smart, Derek, getting me to tear apart Taurus so you don't
have to... But after I beat him you'll have to answer to me instead...
And you KNOW that I can beat you... So it'll be good to settle things
once and for all...

DDI: Whatever...

WJ: Oh, and good luck tonight, CHAMP.

[Jakk gives Derek a very hard slap on the back and walks off. DDI
turns and flips off Whiskey behind his back, and then we cut back to
ringside.]

[We go back to the ring, where security has arrived to help Blacktop
and The Rebel to the backstage area.  Several BSCW staffers hit the
ring to clear it of all debris as Jared Lord announces the beginning
of the next match.]

JL: This following match is for the BSCW Hardcore Championship!

[Hardcore Pop!]

JL: Introducing first...  From Atlanta, Georgia…  Weighing in at
three hundred and sixty-five pounds...  "Redneck Wrecking Machine"
Richard Harris!

["Hell's Bells" by AC/DC plays over the P.A.  Entering the arena
wearing the same attire he did the interview, Richard Harris looks
over the crowd with the same pillowcase, but thankfully not the
trashcan filled with dog shit, over his shoulder.  He walks down to
the ring and waits for the champion to come down to the ring.]

JL: And his opponent...  From Detroit, Michigan...  Weighing in at two
hundred and sixty-five pounds...  He is the undisputed BSCW Hardcore
Champion...  Sykopath!
 
[Viking Hall goes dark and blaring from the P.A. comes a voice: "YOU
ARE THE MOTHER-FUCKING ANTI-CHRIST!" and a blast of red pyrotechnics
goes off and a thunderous scream is heard as "(SIC)" by Slipknot comes
blasting from the speakers and blacklights search around the arena.
Sykopath appears on the stage, noticable from his glowing purple hair
and the black-light reflective lining on his coveralls.  Lights focus
on Sykopath as his blood red coveralls show with it's black pads.  The
ripped off sleeve holes are lined with Safety pins and his neck is
adorned with black ball necklace and a new black collar with red
spikes.  His pants are tucked into his tall black boots with red
buckles.  He brandishes his new black and red chair, with his
signature quote "... it's time to die!", with pride as he starts to
make his way down to the ring.]

BW: Well, here we go!  Don't expect anything pretty in this one, as
these are two of the roughest customers in BSCW today.  Sykopath
stands in the corner waiting for Harris...  Harris charges in, but
Sykopath drops down and hooks behind the knees sending Harris head
first into the top turnbuckle, then the second, and finally the thrid.
 Sykopath rolls him up into the Apocolypse Tri-Sickle and Harris grabs
the ropes, but to no avail!

MH: Nice show of quickness there by the champ.  That's the only way
he'll beat Harris, is by tiring him out.  Harris is back to his feet,
and charges at Sykopath, who spins out of the way.  Richard puts on
the brakes and charges at Syko...  Who pulls down on the top rope,
sending the big man flying to the outside!

[Pop!]

BW: Harris gets to his feet on the outside, while Syko lights up a
cigarette?  Has someone been watching his "Best of The Sandman" tape?
Anyway, Harris rolls back in, and gets stomped by the champ!

[Sykopath takes the cigarette out of his mouth.]

[Flesh-Searing Pop!]

MH: Good Lord!  He put the cigarette out in Harris' ear!

BW: That was _not_ pretty by anyone's standards.  Sykopath climbs on
the second rope, and sucks in the adulation of the fans...  While
Harris grabs his pillowcase o' pain!  He reaches in...

[The crowd then makes a fire engine sound.  Over, and over again.]

MH: A fireman's helmet?  What the hell?  Harris puts it on, and pulls
Syko off the second rope!  Syko kips up...

[CLANG!]

MH: Right into a helmet butt from Harris!  That sent the champ
staggering!  Harris grabs Syko by the ears...

[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]
[CLANG!]

[THUD!]

BW: Syko is down, and busted wide open!  I'm surprised the helmet
didn't get dented from the impact of the champ's skull!  This match is
only getting uglier and uglier, Matt.

MH: I'd have to agree.  Harris goes for the pin...  One...  Two.
Kickout by the champ!  Harris looks pissed.  He picks the champ up...
WAAAY up with a Gorilla Press!

[CRASH!]

[Crowd: Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris!
Har-ris!]

BW: DAMN~!  Syko goes flying over the top, right into the steel guard
railing!  This is the first time I think we've ever seen the champ
manhandled like this!

MH: It sure is, and it looks like it's only starting!  Harris steps
through the ropes, and jumps down to the floor.  He picks Syko up by
the hair, ready to inflict even _more_ damage to the Hardcore
Champion...

[THUD!]

[Surprised Pop!]

MH: But Syko nails him with a Low Blow, quickly followed by a DDT on
the concrete floor!  Syko scrambles to look under the ring for some
more toys...  And finds one in the form of a trash can!  Harris gets
up...

[THWACK!]
[THWACK!]
[THWACK!]
[THWACK!]

BW: He just leveled Harris with those shots!  Harris is on rubber legs
right now...

[Crowd: TIIIIMMMMBEEERRRRR!]

BW: And the giant goes down!

[Sykopath opens the now flattened trash can and puts it on Harris like
a hat.  He then climbs up onto the ring apron...  Stopping to look at
the top turnbuckle.]

[Crowd: Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko!]

MH: He's going all the way up!  He steadies himself...  And flies!

[CRUSH!]

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: Arabian fucking Guillotine!  He must have squashed Harris' face
flat!  This is nuts!

MH: Sykopath is out too!  Neither man is moving an inch!

[A couple seconds pass, and Sykopath starts to move.  He slowly gets
to his feet, and begins grabbing every steel chair within arm's length
and tosses them into the ring.  He stops as the number gets around
thirteen, and picks up Harris, laboring a bit as he rolls him into the
ring.]

BW: Well, finally they're back...  And it looks like even Harris is
starting to show some signs of life.  Syko bends over to pick Harris
up by the mullet...

[CLANG!]

MH: The fireman's helmet comes into play yet again!  Harris with a
wild swing, catches Sykopath full in the face with it!  Sykopath is
staggering...  And gets a stiff shot from the helmet again!  That sent
the champ tripping backwards into the corner!  Now...  Harris puts the
helmet on Syko's head?  Huh?

[Harris picks up a steel chair, and the crowd goes nuts.  He brings it
back and...]

[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]
[THWACK-CLANG!]

MH: Yikes!

[Harris then grabs another steel chair, lifts them both in the air...]

BW: This is gonna hurt.

[MEGA THWACK-CLANG!]

BW: CONCHAIRTO!  Jesus H. Christ!

MH: This has officially gone beyond ugly, into grotesque.  Sykopath
falls to a sitting position, and I wouldn't be surprised if the only
thing stopping him from falling flat was the corner.

[Harris gathers both chairs in one hand, and grabs three more.  He
then puts all five together, gripping them tightly to make one very
thick metal device of pain.]

BW: Someone call the paramedic...  Fuck that. Someone call a coroner!

[THWACK FROM HELL~!]

MH: GOD DAMN~!

BW: Ouch.  Seriously.  Ow.

[Sykopath slumps to his side, and Harris lifts the chairs in the air,
only to drop them, one by one, on Sykopath's head, which is still
adorned with the fireman's helmet.]

[THUD!]
[THUD!]
[THUD!]
[THUD!]
[THUD!]

MH: Sykopath is not looking too good right now, Bil.

BW: Not at all.  Harris goes for the cover, but this is a mere
formality at this point...  One...  Two...  Thre...

[Shocked Pop!]

BW: He kicked out!  How in the hell?!

MH: Folks, I have no idea how...  But the champ is still in this one!
Harris can't believe it either!  Harris rolls out of the ring for some
more toys, and Sykopath is laying as still as a corpse.  Harris is
under the ring and he pulls out...

[High Spot Junkie Pop!]

MH: A ladder!  As if these two haven't gone out of their way to try
and kill each other, now they have a ladder at their disposal!

BW: It's just getting scarier by the minute.

[Harris slides the ladder into the ring under the bottom rope, then
rolls in himself.  He takes a second to catch his breath, and picks
Sykopath up by the hair.]

MH: Harris goes for a Short Arm Clothesline...  But Sykopath ducks
behind him and puts Harris in a Full Nelson!!  What in the _hell_ is
Sykopath doing?  Harris is too large for a Full Nelson Slam onto that
ladder!!  Wait...  No...  Sykopath is unhooking the Full Nelson and
he's jumping onto Harris' shoulders!!!  Now he's Sliding off grabbing
Harris in a REVERSE DDT ONTO THE LADDER!!!!!!  SAMURAI DRIVER FROM
BEHIND!!!  GOOD GOD!

BW: That came out of nowhere!  Definitely the champ's instincts coming
around to save his ass that time around.  Sykopath rolls out of the
ring...  And pulls two tables, one by one, out from under the ring!
He's setting them up...  One on top of the other!  This is not going
to be pretty, folks.

[As Sykopath finishes setting up the tables, Harris crawls over to his
pillowcase.  He pulls out a small paper bag, and empties it out on the
canvas, spilling thousands of thumbtacks on the mat.  He grabs
something else out of the bag, but it's obscured from the camera angle
we're seeing.]

MH: Sykopath rolls back into the ring, and he goes right over to
Harris…  He goes to pick Harris up...  OOF!  But Harris Head
Butts him in the crotch!  He stagger back, and Harris shoulder blocks
him to the ropes!  Damn it, I still can't see what Harris has in his
hands!

[Sykopath leans against the ropes, as Harris lifts up the mystery
weapon in his hands.]

BW: A handheld belt sander?!  What the fuck!?

[SMACK!]

[CRASH!]

[Crowd: Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit! Holy
Shit! Holy Shit! Holy Shit!]

BW: Damn!  What a shot!  Sykopath goes flying over the top...  And
right through the two tables he himself just set up!  That's called
the cruel hand of irony smacking you like a Vietnamese hooker, folks.

MH: Lovely.  As we can see, the gash on Syko's forehead has been
re-opened, with the only question being whether it was the sander or
the tables that did it.  Harris rolls to the outside, sans belt
sander, and picks Sykopath up.

[Harris rolls him into the ring as Sykopath literally climbs the
turnbuckle to his feet. Upon entering the ring, Harris flattens him
with a charging shoulder to the back of Sykopath.  Sykopath crumples
down and Harris picks him up and Harris goes for another Powerbomb,
but Sykopath flips out of it, nailing a Sitdown Facebuster onto the
thumbtacks.]

[Hardcore Pop!]

BW: Shit!  Syko goes for the cover...  One...  Two...  Harris kicks
out!  How the hell are these guys kicking out of this crap!

MH: They are putting on one hell of a show, that's for certain.
Harris is getting up...  He's so out of it he doesn't even feel that
he has thumbtacks stuck to his face!  Unreal!  Sykopath is drilling
Harris with some stiff rights and lefts, and wait...  He floors the
big man with an uppercut!  Sykopath is dragging Harris to the outside
of the ring and kicks him out with a Baseball Side!  Sykopath slides
out of the ring and picks up a chair...  And slams it into the head of
"Redneck Wrecking Machine" Richard Harris!  Sykopath now sets that
chair under him and now Sykopath is going under the ring...  And pulls
out...  A trash can!

[He slams it onto Harris and presses it down.  Sykopath slides back in
the ring.  Truck isn't moving much and Sykopath almost literally runs
up the turnbuckle and holds out....

MH: He's waiting...  Harris is laying in pain and Sykopath leaps into
the air with a... Shooting Star Frog Splash and hits his mark~!

BW: He calls that the Descending Angel you moron!!  Descending Angel,
Descending Angel by the Sykotik One!  Both men are sprawled out on the
ground, and Sykopath is clutching his ribs...  He might have broken a
rib or two there!  Sykopath slowly, but surely getting to his feet
now...  And he's dragging Harris towards the ring and rolls him in!
Sykopath now sliding back into the ring...  And goes for the pin...
One...  Two...  Thre...  Harris lifts up his right shoulder.  He
barely escaped a pinfall there, Matt!

MH: It's definitely getting down to the wire now.  Both men are
getting to their feet...  And Syko uses his speed against Harris once
again as he goes to the ropes!  Sykopath rebounds off the ropes and
ducks Clothesline!  He handsprings off the ropes,m into a Back Elbow!
Harris is down!  Sykopath climbs the turnbuckle and measures up...
He's up...  And he's down with a Perfect Moonsault!

BW: Yeah, perfect...  Except for the fact that Harris raised his
knees!  Retard.

MH: Oops.

BW: Sykopath rolls out, and Harris rolls right out after him!  Syko
gets to his feet, holding onto his ribs in pain...  Harris spins him
around...

[WHAM!]

[Pop!]

BW: Powerbomb on the wooden debris that was once two tables!  That
knocked Sykopath silly!

[Instead of doing more damage to Syko, Harris grabs two chairs from
under the ring, and leans them against the steel guard railing.  He
screams at the crowd to get out of his way, and security runs over to
move the crowd back.  This turns into security having to clear a path
for Harris, as he drags the tables to the back of Viking Hall.  He
then starts setting them up, stacking them on top of each other.]

MH: What the hell is Harris orchestrating here?

BW: Well, Harris is a man of the people after all.  Maybe he wants to
put the champ through the tables among his fellow unwashed brethren.

MH: Perhaps.

[As Harris stacks one table on top of the other, Sykopath is up, and
sees Harris at the far end of the Hall.  Syko grabs something from
underneath the ring, and jumps the railing, charging at Harris, who
has his back turned.]

MH: It's a kendo stick!  Syko leaps and swings...

[CRACK!]

BW: Right across the huge back of Harris!  _That_ got the big man's
attention!  Syko's continuing to go to work on Harris with that kendo
stick...

[CRACK!]
[CRACK!]
[CRACK!]
[CRACK!]
[CRACK!]
[CRACK!]

[Crowd: Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko!]

MH: Yikes, that last one broke the stick in half!

[Syko gets Harris in position, props what's left of the stick behind
Harris' head, and screams "Carver 2:13!"]

BW: White Russian Leg Sweep!  A definite nod to the man who got Syko
his job, Hannibal Carver!  Syko goes for the pin, and the ref is
running down...  He finally makes it...  One...  Two...  Kickout by
Harris!  If the ref was already there, I think Syko would've had it
there, Matt.

MH: I think you may be right.  Anyway, Syko picks Harris up, and
starts wailing away on him with stiff rights and lefts!  Harris
staggers backwards through the crowd...  And they start slugging it up
all the way to the cheap seats!

[Harris blocks a shot from Syko, grabs one of those "#1" foam fingers
from a nearby fan, and rams it down Sykopath's throat.]

BW: Hmm...  Interesting.  Sykopath puts a stop to it with an Eye Rake
however, and follows up with a big chop to the chest, which sends
Harris reeling back up a few rows!

[They continue to brawl, until they get all the way up to the balcony.
 Harris blocks a Standing Sidekick from Sykopath and charges at the
Hardcore Champion.]

MH: Drop Toe Hold!  Harris goes down!  Sykopath gets up, and looks
down.  Oh no!

[The camera pans down so we see what Sykopath sees...  The two stacked
tables that Harris set up earlier.  We pan back up, and see that
Sykopath has a devilish grin on his face.]

[Crowd: Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko! Syko!]

BW: Oh no is right...  This is getting uglier by the second!  Sykopath
grabs Harris by the head, and bashes his face into the balcony
railing!

[Sykopath stands up on the railing, which is fairly wide, and drags
Harris up there as well.]

MH: He's signaling for the Syko-Krush-R!  If he hits this, Harris will
go for the biggest fall of his life!  He sets it up and...

[Shocked Pop!]

BW: Low Blow!  WHOAH~!  Sykopath nearly fell off, but Harris caught
him by the neck!  Well, at least Harris is not as insane as Sykopath,
and isn't planning on the same thing.

[Pop!]

MH: NO!  He can't be thinking it.  NOOO~!

[Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Har-ris! Ha...]

[CRASH!]

[Ultra-Mega Hardcore Pop From Hell!]

BW: No way!  No motherfucking WAY~!

MH: ...  Im in shock.  Folks, we're going to look at that on instant
replay.

[We see Harris raise his free hand, signaling for the Truck Stop.  He
lifts Sykopath up in the air with one hand, and leaps off the balcony!
 The two hurtle downward at a dizzying speed, finally hitting the two
stacked tables.  They cut through the tables like a knife through
melted butter, and sickening bounce off the concrete floor upon
impact.]

BW: I still can't believe it!  What an insane son of a bitch Harris
is!  But...  Look!  His forearm is resting over Syko's chest!  The ref
is starting the count!  One...



















Two...




















Three!  Fucking three!  The Hardcore King has been dethroned~!

JL: Ladies and gentlemen...  Your winner...  And _new_ BSCW Hardcore
Champion...  "Redneck Wrecking Machine" Richard Harris!

[Crowd: B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W! B-SC-W!
B-SC-W!]

MH: What a war!  Harris and Sykopath took each other to the limit...
And beyond!  Unfortunately, they did so at the cost of their own
bodies, Bil.

BW: Absolutely.  That Truck Stop off the balcony definitely goes down
as the most insane god damn thing I've ever seen in my _life_.  It got
him the win and the strap...  But as the EMT's arrive, neither man
looks like much of a winner right now.

[EMT's do indeed arrive, pushing aside the wrecked tables to get to
the men underneath.  They carefully load each man on separate
stretchers, and the ref lays the BSCW Hardcore Championship belt on
Harris' stomach before they cart him away.  As they're wheeled away,
the crowd in Viking Hall get to their feet and offer a standing
ovation for both men.  The scene then cuts to the locker room of
Taurus.

Taurus sits in the back and watches as the both Sykopath and Harris
are carted out by stretcher and brought to the awaiting ambulances.  A
look of concern reaches the face of Taurus, just then Hannibal Carver
comes crashing into the dressing room.

[Pop!]

Carver:  Timmy, it looks like you're up a creek without a fookin'
paddle.  Your pal did his best John Denver impression and left you
without a partner for the main event.

Taurus:  Yeah, but he did succeed, well I think he did.

Carver: Hell yes he did!  I know Harris pretty damn well from my time
in Nippon Pro, and I know if he was gonna win that strap, that's the
only way he'd accept winning the damn thing.  Now listen, just because
Harris is gone doesn't mean we can alter our plan a little.  Axxis
will reunite to crush Greed, only it'll be the original version
tonight.  What do you say?

Taurus:  Of course, reminding DDI and Whiskey Jakk what we are capable
of doing as a team. Hell, that's what you and I were all about, before
the NAWF decided that we'd be better as singles.  One more time, you
and me, teacher and student. It'll be great.  Max, Damian, DDI and
Whiskey will be see the horror that was once Axxis.

[Crowd pops as the two men shake hands.  Carver leaves the dressing
room leaving Taurus sitting in his folding chair.  The scene then cuts
back to the arena, zooming in on Bil and Matt.]

MH: So _that_ was Taurus' surprise!  The return of Axxis!  Wow, this
night is only starting to heat up!

BW: Yeah, hopefully Irvin can get along with O'Riordan better than he
did with Whiskey Ja...

["Scrape" by Unsane blasts over the P.A. as BSCW President Richard
Vail walks out to a nice pop.  He smiles, shaking a few hands at
ringside before walking up the steel steps and stepping through the
ropes.  He shakes hands with Jared Lord, who hands the boss the
microphone.]

RV: Good evening Philly!

[Cheap Pop!]

RV: I've come out here to make a very important announcement.  You
see, we are on the cusp of a new era here in BSCW.  A new era that was
demanded by you, the fans.

You demand more high flying action from the likes of Jaji and
Shrapnel.  You demand more intense action from the likes of Hell On
Earth and Kill Army.  You demand more insane matches from the likes of
Sykopath and Richard Harris.  You demand more classic wrestling from
the likes of Taurus and Derek Irvin.  We've given all of this to you,
but now, even more so.

In the past year, the wrestling world saw a great loss.  That was the
day when Extreme Championship Wrestling closed it's doors.

[We're in the ECW Arena, so naturally a _huge_ "EC-Dub!" chants breaks
out.  Vail smirks and waits for the chants to die down a bit before
continuing.]

RV: Tonight we've seen a lot of crazy things.  From Kill Army laying
waste to everyone to Richard Harris putting his and Sykopath's life on
the line, tonight has been an indication of what is to come.  Gone
will be the days of disqualifications and count outs.  From this day
on, every match will see the better man winning, not someone squeaking
by on a technicality.  As I said, this is done for the fans...  But
I'd be lying if there wasn't someone else in mind when I made this
decision.

The man who, I'm sad to say, holds the BSCW World Championship,
"Deadly" Derek Irvin.

[GIGANTIC Heel Pop!]

RV: Irvin, you came out during a BSCW television broadcast and said
that BSCW was worthless.  You said that every single person on our
roster was beneath your contempt.  Worst of all, you threatened to
trash the BSCW belt on RAW Television.  Of course here at BSCW we have
nothing but the utmost respect for the men and women that make RAW the
excellent promotion it is.  Sadly, you do not have that same respect
for the company that put you over so that RAW would give a damn about
you.

So Derek, this is for you.  Because when Taurus rips your legs out of
their sockets, the ref won't ring the bell to disqualify him.  He'll
just let him finish the job...  He'll let him cripple your worthless
ass.

["Scrape" re-plays to a HUGE pop, as Vail exits the ring to a
deafening chant of "Vail!!".]

MH: Wow!

BW: Yeah!  That's telling him!  Vail is definitely taking no shit,
Matt.

MH: Absolutely.  Well folks, we're just about there.  In a few
seconds, we'll have our main event.  Max C, Damian Payne, Hannibal
Carver, Taurus, Matt O'Riordan and the champion of the World, "Deadly"
Derek Irvin.  With that in mind, let's head to the ring.

[We cut to the ring where, for the final time tonight, Jared Lord is
standing by.]

JL: The following contest is out Main Event!

[Pop!]

JL: It is a Three Way Tag Team Match!

[Pop!]

JL: Introducing first...  Accompanied to the ring by Lady Fantasy...
From Dublin, Ireland and Denver, Colorado respectively...  Weighing in
at a combined six hundred and nineteen pounds...  Max C and "The
Innovator of Insanity" Damian Payne!

["It's My Life" by Bon Jovi plays as Max and Damian are flanked by
Lady Fantasy.  They enter the ring, raising their arms in the air to a
big pop, as the crowd chants Max's name.]

JL: Introducing next.  From South Boston, Massachusetts and Osaka,
Japan respectively...  Weighing in at a combined five hundred and one
pounds...  Taurus and Hannibal Carver...  They _are_ AXXIS~!

[Huge pop, as the crowd gets on their feet.  "Stigmata" by Ministry
plays over the P.A. as both Taurus and Hannibal Carver stand at the
entrance way.  The crowd goes nuts as the teacher and student walk
toward the ring.  They look to the crowd and look at the opponents in
the ring, awaiting the arrival of DDI and Matt O'Riordan.]

JL: And their opponents...  From Winston-Salem, North Carolina and
Dorchester, Massachusetts respectively...  At a combined four hundred
and seventy-four pounds...  Representing Greed...  "Deadly" Derek
Irvin and "The Icon Killer" Matt O'Riordan!

["That's Gangsta" by Shyne begins to wail throughout the building as
we hear an amazing chorus of boos. Just then the shadow of "The Icon
Killer"
walks through a cloud of smoke as a strobe light affect bounces off
the
walls. Matt walks half way down the aisle and stops waiting for DDI's
music
to hit so the can walk in together to show solidarity.

"Spoonman" by Soundgarden plays, and the already huge chorus of boos
gets even _louder_ as "Deadly" Derek Irvin makes his way down the
aisle.  He stops by O'Riordan.  They slap each other high five, and
walk down to the ring together.]

BW: Alright, apparently this one works by having two men at the ring
at the same time, with anyone being able to tag anyone in, regardless
if it's their team mate or not.  Should be interesting.  Or a
clusterfuck.  Anyway, it looks like we're going to start off with
O'Riordan and Payne.

MH: These two, as everyone knows, have some unsettled business
stemming from O'Riordan's win over Payne at Hostile Intentions, and
the subsequent beatdown of "The Icon Killer" at the hands of Payne,
Max C and The Mob Squad.

BW: Well, at least we don't have to worry about The Mob Squad
interfering this time.  Kill Army did a pretty good job of making them
a non-factor, don't you think?

MH: ...

BW: Okay...  Moving on...  Payne and O'Riordan tie up...  And Payne
demonstrates his superior power by shoving O'Riordan to the corner
like he was nothing!  He charges...

[As Payne charges, O'Riordan drops down onto his ass, propping his
back against the turnbuckles.  He lifts his knees up.]

MH: OOF!  Right into the lower abdomen of Payne!  Payne is bent over
in...  Pain.

BW: That was bad.

MH: Sorry.  O'Riordan with a stiff shot to the head...  And he gets
Payne into a Backbreaker!  He reaches over with a free hand to tag in
Irvin...  Who climbs to the top rope...

[Pop!]

BW: Guillotine Leg Drop!  Payne is holding his throat, that obviously
did a _lot_ of damage!  Irvin with the cover...  One...  Two...
Kickout by Payne!  Irvin tags back in O'Riordan...  Who comes off the
ropes as Irvin holds Payne up...

[Pop!]

MH: Dropkick to the face of Damian!  Irvin held him up, forcing the
big man to take _all_ of the impact!

[THUD!]

BW: And he follows it up with a Bulldog!  Matt lays in a few kicks to
the back of Payne's head, and gets him in position...  He...;  YES!
The Rings of O'Riordan!  He has it locked in!

[Damian is snarling, trying to fight off the pain.  He reaches for the
ropes...  He's almost there, but...]

MH: Irvin with a boot to Payne's head!  The ref is warning DDI, but
it's a little late, the damage is already done.

[As the ref admonishes Payne, Max C runs in.  He tears O'Riordan off
of Payne.  O'Riordan gets back to his feet and spins around to attack
Max...]

BW: But Max catches him!  He has him up on his shoulders and...

[WHAM!]

BW: Death Valley Bomb by Max C!  The ref sure as _hell_ heard that!
He runs over now to kick Max out of the ring...

[Payne starts to get back to his feet.  Irvin sees that the ref isn't
looking, and pulls back on the top rope.]

[High Flying Pop!]

MH: Wow!  Springboard Rocker Dropper!  I don't think I've ever seen
that done!  Irvin rolls O'Riordan out of the ring, and claps his hands
together.  The ref turns around, and thinks that a tag was made!  What
the hell?

BW: I think being blind is a prerequisite for getting a job as a BSCW
ref.  Anyway, Irvin picks Payne by the head, and whips him to the
ropes.  Payne hits the ropes, and puts on the brakes...  And tags in
the Japanese Akita!

[The crowd goes nuts as Taurus enters the ring.  He motions towards
Derek to come get some.  Irvin wants no part of that however.  He
rolls forward and slaps Max C on the arm, forcing the big man from
Dublin to enter the ring.]

MH: And as Irvin runs away with his tail between his legs, Max C
enters the fray.

BW: Hey, if you saw that pissed off runt gunning for you, wouldn't you
run?

MH: Good point.  Anyway, Max and Taurus lock up...  And Max comes out
on top, whipping Taurus to the ropes.  Taurus rebounds...  And catches
a Spinning Lariat to the face!  OOF!

[Taurus does the somersault bump for the Spinning Lariat, and hits the
mat hard.  Max drops an elbow, and goes for the cover.]

BW: One...  Two...  Taurus gets a shoulder up!  Max really came out of
nowhere with that Lariat!  Max picks Taurus up...  And levels the
Japanese Akita with a _massive_ overhand chop to the chest!  Taurus
staggers...  Right into the waiting hand of Max C!  Max lifts him
up...  Chokeslam!  NO!!  Taurus flips out, landing behind Max!  Before
Max can move an inch Taurus has him trapped...  Crucifix Rolling Arm
Bar!  What a move!  He has it locked in!  He's really wrenching that
arm, and the effects are clear from the look of anguish on Max's face!

MH: Max tries to reach for the ropes...  But to no avail, as Taurus
has him trapped in the dead center of the ring!

[Just then, Damian Payne runs in, nailing Taurus with a boot to the
side of the head.]

MH: Payne pulls Taurus up to his feet, and whips him to the ropes...
Taurus rebounds...

[Flying Big Man Pop!]

BW: He takes Taurus down with the Insanity Clause!  Payne poses, but
gets a huge negative reaction for attacking Taurus!

[Carver runs in, nailing Payne in the small of the back with a stiff
kick.  Payne spins around, and goes for a Clothesline.]

MH: Carver ducks...  And nails Payne with the Anderson Left!  The big
man goes down!  Max gets back to his feet...  And eats a boot to the
gut from the Whole Drunken Show!  Carver gets him in a Front
Facelock...  Snap DDT!

[Pop!]    

BW: Carver rolls out...  But he might want to stick around, as DDI is
getting into the ring!  He picks Taurus up by the head, gets him in a
Front Facelock...  And lifts him in the air for a Vertical Suplex...

[Shocked Pop!]

MH: Yikes!  Then drops Taurus down into a Stunner!  What a move!
Carver rolls back in, spins Irvin around...  Drunk Valley Driver!  In
runs O'Riordan…  He sneaks up behind a rising Carver...

[Heel Pop!]

BW: Lights Out!  He hit it!  But Taurus is legal, not Carver!  Max is
up...  He spins O'Riordan around...  Chokeslam!  He crushed him with
it!  Finally, the ref is kicking everyone out...  But Irvin and Taurus
remain!  They both get to their feet...  Irvin goes for a Superkick...
 But it misses the mark!  He spins around to try again...

[THUD!]

MH: Taurus positively floors him with a Dragon Clothesline!  Irvin
gets back up...  And gets another Dragon Clothesline!  Taurus is right
on him in a flash...  And he...  YES!  The Horns of Taurus!  He has it
locked in!  DDI is screaming in absolute agony!

[Irvin screams and begs for mercy, but Taurus will have none of it.
Finally, the ref orders Taurus to relinquish the submission.  Taurus
refuses.  The ref starts laying a count on Taurus, and the Japanese
Akita finally releases the Horns of Taurus just as the ref is about to
get to the count of five.]

BW: Damn, that was close for Irvin.  Hey, who the hell were the legal
men, anyhow?

MH: Max and Taurus, as we see Irvin crawl out of the ring and Max
re-enter.

[Max circles around Taurus.  He then smirks, winks at Taurus and spins
around...]

BW: He tags in O'Riordan!  O'Riordan is not pleased!  He reluctantly
comes in though, and charges at the Japanese Akita...  Who catches him
with a Japanese Leg Drag!   O'Riordan gets up...  Dragon Clothesline!
Matt staggers to his feet...

[THUD!]

MH: Samoan Drop!  Taurus picks O'Riordan up by the head, and drags him
to the corner, where he tags in Hannibal Carver!

[Face Pop!]

BW: Carver enters...  And the two start working over O'Riordan in the
corner, with a series of punches and kicks!  Taurus picks O'Riordan up
on his shoulder...

[WHAM!]

MH: Liger Bomb!  Carver is climbing to the second rope...

[Chest Cavity Crushing Pop!]

BW: Double Foot Stomp!  That was _damn_ ugly!  Carver goes for the
cover...  One...  Two...  O'Riordan gets his left shoulder up!  Carver
boots O'Riordan in the face, and tags in Taurus.

MH: Taurus picks up O'Riordan, and props him up on the top rope.  He
climbs to the second rope, and gets him in position for what looks
like a Superplex...  But what the hell is Carver doing?

[Carver positions himself so that Taurus is sitting on his shoulders.
Taurus and Carver then shout "Go!".]

[WHAM!]

[Neck Snapping Pop!]

BW: SHIT~!

MH: Unbelievable!  Carver fell backwards...  And Taurus dropped
O'Riordan on his head with a Brainbuster from an amazing height!
Carver rolls out, and Taurus goes for the pin as O'Riordan is having a
near seizure in the middle of the ring!  One...  Damn!  O'Riordan has
his foot on the rope!  If not for that, I think Axxis might have
picked up the win right there, Bil.

BW: Probably, that was one _hell_ of a move.  Taurus looks a little
discouraged there, but goes back to work on O'Riordan nonetheless.  He
picks him up by the head, and whips him to the ropes.  No, reversal!
Taurus rebounds...  And O'Riordan catches him with a beautiful Sky
High!  Matt leaps to tag in DDI...

[High Flying Pop!]

MH: Irvin makes a grand entrance, by way of a Springboard Elbow Drop!
He hooks the leg...  One...  Two...  Kickout by the Japanese Akita!
Irvin then executes a forward roll, and tags in Damian Payne!

BW: Heh...  He's not too fond of being in the ring with Taurus, is he?

MH: Not at all.  You might even call it cowardice.  But I digress.
Payne gets in, and is whipped to the ropes by Taurus.  Taurus goes to
the ropes on the opposite side...

[Face Pop!]

BW: And tags in Irvin with a stiff slap to the face!  Damian continues
charging..  And knocks Derek right off the apron with a Clothesline!

[Pop!]

MH: Payne goes to the outside...  But O'Riordan makes the save,
tackling Payne into the steel guard railing!  Max jumps off the apron
to even the odds...  But Irvin rolls back into the ring!  Max and
Payne start beating on ORiordan, laying him down on the floor with a
series of massive forearm shots!  Irvin bounces off the ropes, running
straight at their side of the ring...

[Puro Pop!]

BW: TOPE CON HILO~!  All four men are down!  Carver and Taurus are
running out their now...  Carver has Irvin while Taurus has
O'Riordan...

[CRASH!]

[Excedrin Headache Pop!]

MH: Stereo T-Bone Suplexes!  Right on top of Max C!  Taurus grabs
Irvin as Carver goes under the ring...

[Pop!]

BW: Carver drags out a table!  He drags it to the ringpost, and sets
it up right next to the post!  Taurus rolls onto the ring apron, and
stands right next to the post...  Carver has Irvin, and lifts him up
onto his shoulder, feeding him to Taurus, so to speak...

[CRASH!]

[Crowd: Axx-is! Axx-is! Axx-is! Axx-is! Axx-is! Axx-is! Axx-is!
Axx-is! Axx-is!]

MH: Good Lord!

BW: Yeah!  Super Gaijin Death Drop through the table!  Irvin is out
cold!

[Axxis' celebration is short lived, as Payne comes up from behind with
a chair, clobbering both Carver and Taurus with it.]

BW: WHAM!

MH: Well, that put a halt to Axxis' momentum in the match.  Payne
rolls Taurus into the ring, and follows him in.  Taurus is up...  And
goes right back down due to a Running Clothesline from Payne!  Taurus
gets up...  And walks right into the waiting arms of Damian Payne!

[WHAM!]

BW: Gut Wrench Powerbomb!  That was _very_ nasty.  Payne has him up
and...  He's signaling for the Chokebomb!

[Heelish Pop!]

MH: He whips him to the ropes...  Boots him in the gut..  And he has
him up!  This one is over folks!

BW: NO!  Taurus rams his knee up into the bridge of Payne's nose!
Damian drops him like a bad habit!  Taurus has him trapped...  Taurus
Suplex!

[THUD!]

BW: He's on Damian right away...  He's got him locked in a Fujiwara
Arm Bar...

[MASSIVE Pop!]

MH: Floated into the Horns of Taurus!  He has it locked in solid,
right in the middle of the ring!

[Suddenly, Max C runs in.  He starts choking out Taurus.]

BW: Max is trying to break it up...  But Taurus is showing his
tenacity by holding on to the Horns of Taurus!  Tenacity...  Does that
make him Tenacious T?

MH: ...

[Pop!]

MH: Look!  Carver's rolling in!  He sneaks up behind Max...  He has
him in a Full Nelson...

[WHAM!]

BW: Spinal Meningitis!  He hit it!  He's holding onto Max though...
And...

[MASSIVE Pop Dos!]

MH: He locks in the Silence of the Lambs!  The Horns of Taurus and the
Silence of the Lambs, both being applied in the middle of the ring!

[We cut to a different angle, where we see Damian and Max struggling
in the ring while outside O'Riordan has only started to get up, and is
running over to help Irvin, who is still out cold amidst the rubble of
the destroyed table.]

MH: How much more can they take?

BW: There's your answer...  None!  They're tapping!  Hannibal Carver
and Taurus have made Damian Payne _and_ Max C tap out!  Unreal!

JL: Here are your winners of tonight's main event...  Taurus and
Hannibal Carver...  They _are_ AXXIS!

["Stigmata" replays as Taurus and Carver stand with their arms raised
in victory over the fallen bodies of Max and Damian.  They stare down
O'Riordan as he drags a still unconscious DDI back up the ramp to the
backstage area.  The scene fades out to gigantic chants of "AXXIS!".]