[We open backstage at the Blood Bowl, where Whiskey Jakk stands in front of a simple BSCW backdrop.]
Whiskey: I've got a question for all you fans here tonight in Philly...who here is FUCKING SICK of "Deadly" Derek Irvin?
[The crowd pops huge.]
Whiskey: Okay, okay. Who here wants to see "Deadly" Derek Irvin on the mat at the end of the night in a huge pool of his own blood?
[An even bigger pop.]
Whiskey: Who wants to see Whiskey Jakk take the BSCW world title away from the cocky, arrogant, self-rightous piece of shit?
[An even BIGGER pop.]
Whiskey: And at the end of the night, who wants to see Whiskey Jakk standing tall over "Deadly" Derek Irvin, with DDI in his own blood, glass sticking out of his face, wallowing in his own pity, while Whiskey Jakk stands above him with the BSCW world title around his waist...
[Cheers.]
Whiskey: And eating a motherfucking PHILLY CHEESE STEAK while I laugh at the man who will realize he just lost EVERYTHING!
[The crowd goes NUTS for Whiskey Jakk.]
Whiskey: Derek, I've got the glass. I've got the cheese steak. Hell, I may even crack open some beers and drink them down. But now I just need two things...
[He smiles.]
Whiskey: Your fucking carcass, and the BSCW world title!
[The crowd cheers as a determined Whiskey Jakk walks off.]
[The scene fades to a huge banner and we open to Viking Hall in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The crowd is on their feet, chanting…]
"B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!"
[After taking one last sweep of the arena, we zoom in on the ringside commentary team of Matt Heath and Bil Withonel.]
MH: Good evening folks, and welcome to BSCW’s Blood Bowl! We’ve got a stellar lineup tonight, including the Blood Bowl match itself!
BW: That’s right, o’ Ed to my Johnny.
MH: Err… right. Anyway, tonight we have every recognized BSCW champion fighting either for respect or gold. Later on we’ll see the North American Champion, Todd Royal, defend his gold against BSCW verteran and Ruler of the World, Boz.
BW: Boz seems to have lit a fire under his own ass lately, we’ll see if that communicates into a victory, or maybe Royal will merely out that fire out.
MH: And while not in a title defense, Debonair will be present as well, as they take on The Fallen with the help of their “bodyguards”.
BW: Don’t remind me. I thought we saw the last of those two when Vail stopped booking midgets. Ugh.
MH: Regardless, if The Fallen win tonight, they _will_ get a shot at Debonair’s gold. And then, we have the main event. Whiskey Jakk has been chasing “Deadly” Derek Irvin for most of this year… but he’s always come up short. Tonight, he has his last chance in a very dangerous Greenhouse Match.
BW: That’s right, and DDI’s gonna murdalize him!
[….]
MH: Anyway, that in the future, but right now we have what should be an eye popping opening match, as Jaji defends his newly re-won Cruiserweight Championship against a man who’s been impressing everyone with his dominance over the cruiserweight division here in BSCW, Seth Harker. Let’s head to the ring.
Jared Lord: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, has a thirty minute time limit, and is for the BSCW Cruiserweight Championship!
[The crowd pops huge, knowing the action they are about to see.... “Rock Superstar” by Cypress Hill hits the PA to slight heat.]
JL: Making his way to the ring accompanied by his manager Gavin Hearst…
[Big heel heat.]
JL: He weighs in at two hundred and three pounds, here is Jaji!
[Jaji makes his way down to the ring with Hearst at his side, barking the Whole way. Jaji leap frogs into the ring as quick as a cat and raises his arms, spinning around.]
JL: And his opponent…
[The arena lights dim, as the Vail-Tron shows flickering black-and-white images of a eagle diving toward a mountain lake. As it strike the water, twin white pyro crosses the stage. The opening guitar riff of "The Right Time" brings the crowd to its feet as Seth and Coma emerge from the backstage area. They jog to ringside, Seth pausing to high-five some fans holding a "DARKSIDER" sign. The 'Tron is showing Seths' "Greatest Spots" video as he slides into the Ring. Coma stops at the end of the aisle, arms crossed, scanning the area. A high shot of the arena shows six fans in the nosebleeds holding up a multi-part sign that reads "P-O-I-N-K-!"]
[Huge Crowd Pop!]
JL: Seth Harker!
[The stare down has begun.... - Seth and Jaji are staring one another down, wait, Seth is bowing down and assumes a martial arts pose. Jaji responds with his own martial arts pose and the 2 of them are now engaging In martial arts sequence... This is UNREAL. THE CROWD IS GOING WILD... as they continue to battle Seth performs a Traditional Double Kip-up, now the 2 of them are in a stare down once again, Seth turns to the crowd for a HUGE pop; he then slowly rises up into Ralph Macchios' "Crane" positions from The Karate Kid. Now this is going to be some action here...]
MH: Quick start here, as Jaji tried to pounce on Seth as quickly as Possible! Seth now picks up Jaji, and…
[BAM!]
MH: …whips him into those steel steps! Seth picks up Jaji and Body Slams him hard to the floor, and now leaps to the apron. He leaps up…
[Another HUGE Face pop!]
MH: …and nails a quick dropkick to the outside! Beautiful!
[Seth hauls up Jaji and rolls him inside the ring.]
MH: Seth up to the apron…
[DING! DING! DING!]
MH: This match has now officially begun. Jaji is up, and Seth leaps to The top, and comes in with a slingshot body press… but Jaji drill him in the chest with a Dropkick! Nice counter by Jaji. Jaji picks up Seth and now hooks on an Arm Wringer… Seth now flips out of that and into his own Arm Wringer… and now Jaji flips, kips up, and hooks the Arm Wringer back himself! Seth with some right hands to break the hold. Seth sends Jaji to the ropes, and Jaji handsprings, bounces off, and comes back with a Leg Lariat! Another great move by the extremely athletic Jaji! Jaji heads to the top rope, as Seth staggers to his feet… and plants a Missile Dropkick right into Seth’s chest! Jaji hits the ropes quickly, and comes back with a big Axe Kick! That could do it there!
ONE~!
TWO~!
[kickout.]… No, too early, kicks out by Harker.
[Jaji picks Seth back up and smacks him in the face. Seth comes Back with the old poke in the eyes, blinding Jaji, who he then sends to the corner.]
MH: Jaji to the corner, but he slings back over Seth. He goes for a Rollup Pin, but Seth holds onto the ropes to block. Seth hooks Jaji into a backslide Position. Jaji, having scouted Seths' Backslide Powerbomb resists. Seth improvises, walking his feet up the turnbuckles, then pushes off, and rolls over Jajis' back, maintaining the underhook, and reversing into an Underhook Powerbomb. OH MY GOD...
[The Crowd is going NUTS!]
[Jaji looks like he has been broken in half.]
[The ref goes to check on Jaji to make sure he is alive....]
[Harker is feeling damn good about himself right now. He busts out the Judas Air.]
[Crowd Pop... Chants of “HARKER! HARKER! HARKER!” break out in the arena.]
[Jaji is back to his feet and starts thowing shots to the gut of Seth. Seth hits the ropes and comes back at Jaji. Jaji backs up and lowers the shoulder as Seth rebounds, lifting him HIGH out of the ring and to the floor!]
MH: LOOK OUT!
[Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit!]
BW: I doubt Jaji is done.
[On the outside, Gavin Hearst nails the downed Seth with a few shots and then hauls him to his feet. He is going to roll him back inside, but instead has to get out of the way, because…]
MH: HERE COMES JAJI!
[Jaji nails his Handspring Moonsault Body Press to the outside!]
MH: SASUKE SPECIAL! The crowd respects a move like that!
"B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!"
[Hearst screams for Jaji to roll Seth in and finish him off.]
MH: Jaji obeys his manager and rolls Seth inside the ring, and now leaps to the apron. Seth is slowly up… Jaji with a Rana…
[BAM!]
MH: Countered into a Belly to Belly Steiner Style... Seth quickly looks to capitalize, heading to the top rope… he leaps…
[Face pop!]
MH: Frog Splash! That could do it!
ONE~!
TWO~!
MH: NO! Jaji just got his shoulder up. Seth now lifts up Jaji and puts on a Side Headlock, as he wrenches away at the champion. Shoved to the ropes, leapfrog by Jaji, Seth rebounds and blocks a Hip Toss… Lariat ducked, Jaji with a Backdrop Suplex try, but Seth flips over and lands on his feet. Waistlock by Seth, reversal by Jaji. Suplex attempt blocked, and Seth goes behind again. Tries to lock in a Full Nelson, but Jaji blocks and somehow spins out of it. He goes behind, spins, and tries a Backslide… blocked by Seth… he turns and with a HUGE right hand knocks the champion right on his ass... and stands over him and just glares...
[Face pop for the nice wrestling sequence and the big right hand.]
MH: Seth now heads back up top, looking to put the champ away. He Looks around, then leaps… HUGE RVD like Frog Splash connects! That’s it!
ONE~!
TWO~!
MH: NO, again Jaji just got a shoulder up! Seth quickly picks up Jaji and goes for an Irish Whip, reversed by Jaji… and Seth comes right back with a Flying Head Scissors Takedown! Jaji rolls to the outside of the ring, but here comes Seth!
[Seth with a full head of steam launches a Corkscrew Plancha over the top rope. Jaji dives aside And Seth instead impacts with the timekeeper and ring announcers’ position, sending both to the floor and leaving Seth tangled in pile of folding chairs.]
BW: OH MY GOD...
"HARKER! HARKER! HARKER! HARKER!"
[Jaji runs and leaps up to the top rope, and then hits a Springboard Shooting Star Press Suicide to the outside, taking out Seth.]
MH: OH MY GOD! DID YOU SEE THAT? I think Jaji killed Harker!
"HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!
HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!!"
BW: Wow, a Springboard Shooting Star Press, almost. Hell of a move. Jaji is so impressive, he has slowly become a major player in BSCW.
[Both men slowly get to their feet.]
MH: Seth and Jaji are up, and they trade right hands there on the Outside of the ring! Jaji sends Seth towards the steps… but Seth Stops, leaps on the steps, and comes back with a kick to the head of Jaji! Great move! Jaji is back up, and charges at Seth… but he dips his shoulder and sends Jaji flying into the crowd, where the fans are all over Jaji!
[Seth gets a nice face pop as he gets into the ring the break the count And then climbs to the top rope!]
MH: Oh my God, what is Seth going to do here?
[Seth gets a HUGE FACE POP!]
MH: - Seth jumps sideways, landing on the top rope butt-first, facing into the ring, and backflips into a bodyblock on the floor, leveling Jaji.
BW: Harker is truly amazing!
"B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!"
MH: Seth now hauls Jaji up and rams him against that guardrail a few Times, and then tosses him back over to ringside. Seth follows, and now rams Jaji’s head into the apron, into the guard rail, into the apron, into the guard rail! Seth now picks up the champion and rams him into the ringpost!
[Wait what is this... Seth is yelling "Railrunner"- as Jaji is rising from the ground, Seth out out of No Where is running across the guardrails and nails Jaji with a flying elbow smash.]
[Fans are out of their seats chanting “HARKER! HARKER! HARKER!”]
BW: Total domination by Seth at this point.
[Seth rolls back inside to break the count and then as Jaji gets back up he dives through the ropes with a tope, taking him down again.]
MH: And just as Jaji gets back up, he’s back down again!
MH: Seth rolls Jaji back inside, as we’ve finally got action INSIDE the Ring again. Jaji up… and is knocked right back down with a vicious Springboard Clothesline! Seth tosses Jaji to the corner and rams some Elbows into his chest. Seth backs up as Jaji staggers out of the Corner…
[Seth charges Jaji, who side steps him. Seth eats some major turnbuckle.]
MH: Seth turns around… into a Shoulder Jawbreaker from the champ, Jaji goes to work, putting on a Cross-Arm Scissors.
BW: We haven’t seen much from Jaji tonight, as he’s been taking some beating from Harker tonight... He actually wants to slowly work over Seth now.
MH: Maybe Jaji has seen that Seth can more than keep up with the fast Paced match, and is trying something else.
BW: Who knows?
MH: Seth is back to his feet, but Jaji now hooks the Arm Wringer again, As he works on that left shoulder. Jaji ducks a big Clothesline from Seth, and now he takes him down with a Fujiwara Armbar.
[Seth gets the ropes, and the ref makes Jaji break the hold.]
MH: Seth is back up, but Jaji hits some forearm shots to the face. Irish Whip to the buckles is reversed. Seth charges, but gets a boot to the face. Jaji gets on the second rope and hooks the arm… and hits a Single Arm Tornado DDT! Beautiful move by Jaji, who keeps on working over that left shoulder of Seth... Seth is screaming in pain...
BW: Jaji’s really showing us all why he is The Champion here in BSCW.
MH: Seth slams an elbow to the throat of a charging Jaji. Seth takes Out Jaji’s legs from under him…and slingshots him into the ringpost! Jaji backs up, stunned, right into… a Reverse Russian Leg Sweep! Nicely done and he covers for…
ONE~!
TWO~!
[Kickout]
MH: Jaji kicks out. Seth knocks Jaji back down with a Clothesline, and Now heads back up to the top rope.
[Flying dropkick nails Jaji right in the face.]
MH: Seth goes for the Quick cover...
ONE~!
TWO~!
THRRREEEEEE-
MH: Jaji kicked out!
[The crowd is totally behind Harker here.]
[Seth goes into the Blade... The crowd is flipping out.]
MH: Jaji is back and the two tie up, and they break. Another tie up, and Seth pushes Jaji to the ropes. Irish Whip reversed by Jaji, but he puts his head down and Seth Kicks him in the face. Seth goes for another kick, but NOOOOOO, Jaji blocks and goes for the Jaji Stinger… blocked, and Seth nails Jaji with vicious DDT to the mat! Seth goes for the cover…
ONE~!
TWO~!
THRRRREEEEE-
MH: NO! Jaji kicks out! Seth with some right hands to Jaji, and now he Sends him to the ropes… Jaji comes back with a Crucifix Pin! Quick cover by Jaji…
ONE~!
TWO~!
THRRRRRRREEE - [kickout!]
MH: NO! He JUST kicked out! Seth just kicked out. Both men back up. And Jaji nails Seth with a flying body press, knocking Seth clear out of the ring....
MH: Jaji slides to the outside and picks up Seth, who is practically Dead weight there. He sets him up for a Powerbomb... OH MY GOD, YES... a vicious Powerbomb on the concrete by Jaji!
[Heel heat from the crowd.]
[Seth is slowly trying to pick himself up.]
MH: Seth is back up and rolls himself back into the ring... He and Jaji are going at it again... What a match this is what Cruiserweight wrestling should be all about! Seth gains control, and Irish Whips, but Jaji reverses. Seth comes back with a Spinning Heel Kick, knocking down Jaji! He quickly hits the ropes, leaps, and hits a Moonsault!
[A Jericho like Lionsault, The crowd gives a HUGE FACE POP!]
BW: Seth goes for a cover, but somehow Jaji kicks out before the ref even gets to his knees to count. That is the heart of a Champion folk...
MH: The two men are both on their feet and staring one another down, just like the beginning of the match. They lock up, and Jaji has the advantage Jaji whips Seth into the ropes, shoulder block by Seth... Jaji goes down to the mat.
BW: Jaji pops up and charges Seth, Seth ducks and catches Jaji with a boot to the gut...
MH: Seth looks to the crowd and they are going crazy... He one arm clotheslines Jaji... He picks Jaji up in. Yes it is. The Piledriver ...PILEDRIVER... Seth has just bounced Jaji head of the mat... Jaji is out cold... Seth goes for the cover...
ONE~!
TWO~!
THRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE!
[DING! DING! DING!]
MH: HE GOT HIM!
BW: What a match!
MH: This is what the division is all about!
[Seth celebrates and the crowd gives him a standing ovation.]
MH: And what a great way to start off the night! Listen to the crowd!
"B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!"
Jared Lord: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match and NEW BSCW Cruiserweight champion… Seth Harker!
[We fade in from black and see four men walking into Viking Hall in Philadelphia, PA. One is dressed as a gorilla. Another as a little girl with a lollipop. A third is dressed as a rich man wearing a monocle. And the fourth man is dressed as a pimp.]
Gorilla: Okay, I think we're safe.
Girl: I don't know. Shrapnel and Sykopath could still jump us.
Gorilla: They don't know we're disguised like this. They'll never find us.
Girl: Okay, but I'm not going to the locker room. Jaji and Wilson got jumped last show when they did that.
Gorilla: Yeah, okay. We'll just hide out backstage until our match time.
Rich man: FLESH...BURNING...PAIN...EVIL...
Gorilla: That gets SO annoying.
Girl: No kidding.
Pimp: Yo, yo, yo, tonight the most entertaining TANDEM, the evil Kenieval bible swinging bad man, and the chick stealing, heart breaking, "ditch the zero and get with the hero" superstar team are taking out all competition, you know what I be saying?
Gorilla: Shut up.
Pimp: Word.
Girl: Geesh.
Pimp: TO YOUR MOTHER!
[Everyone stares at the pimp, Rexx Steelhart II, in bewilderment.]
Gorilla: So...anyways...can I have that lollipop?
Girl: No! It's my lolli! Hey, I'm bored. Rexx, Dark Holy Matt, go do some reconaissance for us. Go find out where Shrapnel and Sykopath are, and what they're doing. Go! Go! Chop, chop!
Pimp: You got it, Mr. B. Word to your mother, mother to your word.
Gorilla: Goddam it, shut the hell up!
Pimp: Yo, yo.
[Rexx the pimp and Dark Holy Matt the rich man walk off and we cut back to the ring.]
BW: The next match should be AWESOME, a clash of the two GREATEST wrestlers in BSCW!! Boz, and Todd Royal, the current North American Champ!
MH: You retard... they aren't the greatest wrestlers in BSCW, they're just the one's with the BIGGEST egos! This is definitely a match for the records, because both men have incredible talent, and HUGE egos to fuel their fires!
BW: Are you calling them flamers? Gay?! HOMO-SEXUALS?!?!?
MH: ....
[The camera cuts to Jared Lord in the middle of the ring, ready to announce the match.]
JL: This matchup will be for the BSCW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP~!
[Championship Pop!]
JL: Introducing first, weighing in at 278 lbs, from Hollywood California, the Challenger... BOZ~!
[The lights fade to darkness in the arena as two blue spotlights show on the entrance. Smoke flows out of machines on either side of the entrance way, causing a midnight blue-fog to work its way down to the ring. The sound of an animal panting can be heard over the PA system. A blood-curdling howl echo's across the walls of the arena and a silhouette figure emerges in the cloud and it's Boz, clad in a long trench coat. He slowly stalks toward the ring as Guns N Roses' "Garden" plays in the background as he walks down with, his loyal companion; who had been missing for a long time before... The "1st Lady of Wrestling".. Ms Kelly.]
#You know you're all alone# #You're friends they aren't at home# #Everybody's gone to the garden# #As you look into the trees# #You can look but you don't see# #The flowers seem to tease you at the garden##Everybody's there, but you don't seem to care# #What's it with you man, and this garden#
[A single spotlight bathes a corner of the ring in a pale yellow tint. Boz and Ms. Kelly both enter the ring, and Boz drops to his knees in the center of the spotlight. As he comes to his feet he puts a fist to his chest facing the fans.]
#Turned into my worst phobia# #A crazy man's utopia# #If you're lost no one can show ya##But it sure was glad to know ya##Only poor boys take a chance# #On the garden's song and dance# #Feel her flowers as they wrap around##But only smart boys do without#
[The ring area remains dark except for the lone spotlight on Boz.]
#Turned into my worst phobia##It's a crazy man's utopia# #If you're lost no one can show ya# #But it sure was glad to know ya# #Bye-bye# #It's glad to know ya##Bye-bye# #Bye-bye# #Aw... so long#
[The lights return to normal and Boz stands against a corner, awaiting his opponent.]
MH: HOLY CRAP IT'S MS. KELLY!! WHERE HAS SHE BEEN ALL THIS TIME?!?
BW: Damn... she's still hot!
MH: And Boz... he reminds me of a young....
BW: Me?
MH: .... Goldust...
BW: *shivers* eeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....
["TNT" by AC/DC begins to play over the P.A. system. Todd Royal appears in the entrance way with the lovely Megan Skye.]
JL: Next, weighing in at 227 lbs, from San Diego California, he is the BSCW NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPION..... TODD ROYAL~!!!
(A chorus of "boo's" and shouts echo through the hall as they walk down the ramp together to boos, middle fingers, shouts, and hisses not to mention one beer car narrowly missing Skye's head. They reach the steps and Todd Royal tosses his fine blue and silver jacket aside and asks Megan to take a seat. Royal enters the ring showing off his belt, and spitting in Boz's general direction.)
MH: What an egotistical sack of...
BW: ... PURE WRESTLING TALENT AND FINESSE!!
MH: That's not what I was going to s...
BW: Yes it was, you be quiet for you know not of what you speak!!!
MH: ..... you were picked on a lot as a kid weren't you?
BW: YES, SHUT UP!! MY MOM SAYS I'M SPECIAL!
MH: *under breath* she said I was too, last night...
BW: What was that?
(Ding, ding, ding.)
MH: AND THEY LOCK UP, REAL TIGHT!
BW: AND BOZ, WITH A QUICK ADVANTAGE, pushing Royal to the ropes...
MH: BIG BOOT BY BOZ!!
BW: But Royal is back up quick, and goes to the ropes on his own this time, coming back with a duck and a Quick Neck Breaker!!
MH: Good move... Boz getting up pretty quick as well, catching Royal in mid stride, picking him up, and SLAMMING him down with a BIG Back Body Drop!
BW: Boz, now dragging Royal to his feet.... but wait! SURPRISE SURPRISE!! Royal kicks Boz in the bread basket and hooks around his head, looking for an Acid Drop, but getting CROTCHED ON THE TOP ROPE INSTEAD!
MH: That's gotta hurt.
BW: Royal hits the mat hard, and Boz is following up with some elbow drops. Boz now picks Royal up again, and Royal reverses with a quick DDT followed by a running Leg Drop. Royal slowly drags the groggy Boz to his feet and attempts a Neck whip, but Boz grabs him in a BIG GERMAN SUPLEX!!!
MH: Good wrestling tonight... and it looks like we may have a new champ!
BW: YES!! Boz is now setting Royal on the top turnbuckle, looking for the Boz bomb... but NO!!
MH: ROYAL REVERSES!! Top Rope Neck Breaker that sends Boz into a stupor! Royal goes for the pin!
ONE~!
TWO~!
[Kickout pop!]
BW: NO!!!! ROYAL SHOULD HAVE WON BY NOW!!! BUT WAIT!! Boz is getting to his feet!!! THIS ISN'T OVER!!
MH: But it looks like Royal was up first and is going outside the ring.... NO! ROYAL comes BACK with a Missile Dropkick to Boz's face!
BW: Boz goes down hard!
MH: Royal goes for another delayed pin...
ONE~!
TWO~!
[Kickout!]
BW: And Boz STILL won't stay down for the champ!
MH: These fans are definitely getting their money's worth tonight! Royal and Boz are slowly getting to their feet, and Boz nails Royal with a right... and another right... and another right... Now he's it looks like he's going for the Irish whip, but NO! He brings Royal back into a HUGE Belly to Belly suplex, that sends Royal careening to the floor below!
BW: That must have really taken the wind out of Royal's sails!
MH: Yes, it is quite so! Now Boz is show boating to the crowd as Royal tries to get to his feet..... Boz is still getting under the skin on the crowd in his true heel fashion, but Royal is on the apron now, but BOZ can't see him because his back is turned!
BW: Royal springboards in, and Boz turns just in time to catch ROYAL IN MID AIR AND DROP HIM WITH A MODIFIED T-BONE SUPLEX!
BW: Boz covers!
ONE~!
TWO~!
thr... [KICKOUT!]
BW: BUT ROYAL WILL NOT BE DENIED HIS TITLE EITHER!!
MH: It's amazing how both men have stayed in this match!
BW: That's right, Royal and Boz now to their feet... and Boz whips Royal right into the corner and CHARGES THE CHAMP!!
MH: BUT ROYAL DUCKS OUT OF THE WAY!!
BW: Boz turns, and Royal goes for a Super Kick, but Boz won't have it! Boz clotheslines Royal to the mat hard!
MH: And picks him up, just to do it again! Boz now picks Royal up once more and Boz goes for the Irish whip, but ROYAL REVERSES SENDING BOZ RIGHT INTO THE CORNER!!
BW: Royal quickly follows up with a Full Nelson... TODD DAMN!!! TODD DAMN!!! THE REF DIVES FOR THE COUNT!!
ONE~!
TWO~!
THREE~!
ROYAL GOT THE THREE COUNT, AND KEEPS THE TITLE!!!
MH: ROYAL HAD HIS FEET ON THE ROPES THOUGH!!! HE WON BY CHEATING!!
BW: IT DOESN'T MATTER, HE WON!!! Royal has released the hold, and demands his belt.... getting it, he's now standing with one foot on Boz, the other on the second rope... what a wrestler, WHAT A WRESTLER!!!
MH: Cocky bastard... He has kept his title, but for how long?? What will become of the Champ now that he has crossed Boz? Will Boz demand pay back? We'll have to find out soon enough!!
[Royal lifts the North American Championship high in the air as he bad mouths Boz. He finally walks out to a huge chorus of boos, as we fade to…]
[We cut backstage once again and see a man dressed as a gorilla and a man dressed as a little girl sitting around. Ronan Alexander walks by and starts laughing.]
RA: You guys are pathetic.
Girl: Shut up Ronan.
Gorilla: Yeah, if you were facing the Fallen you wouldn't want to be recognized and beaten to a pulp before the match, either.
Girl: Oh shit...oh shit...
Gorilla: What?
Girl: Oh fuck... oh FUCK!
Gorilla: WHAT???
Girl: Ronan just recognized us...he wasn't fooled at all!
Gorilla: So?
Girl: So? SO???? If he RECOGNIZES us, then so can Sykopath and Shrapnel! Which means they might beat the shit out of us!
Gorilla: They're not going to recognize us, Tyson. They've been hit by chairs so many times...I mean, seriously, they're more than half retarded. This will be plenty good enough to fool them.
RA: So, you guys pretty confident that your "formidable" friends, Dark Holy Matt and Rexx Steelhart II, will be enough to help you take down the Fallen here tonight?
Gorilla: Hey yeah...where are those guys?
Girl: I don't know, they're retarded. They probably got lost somewhere.
[We hear a groan. Everyone looks over to see a bloody Rexx and a blood Dark Holy Matt staggering back.]
Girl: Holy shit! What happened?
Gorilla: They got the shit kicked out of them!
Pimp: Yo...yo...not cool...not cool...
RA: Well, it looks like the Fallen has sent a message to Matt James and Tyson Bryson. Back to you guys at ringside.
[But before we do, we open to a dark locker room, where Sykopath is found leaning against a random wall, wearing a long black trench coat and and a black stretch-cloth mask which bears the "Ø" symbol, as well as his usual attire... Shrapnel is sitting against the wall, and is wearing an Anti-Flag t-shirt, a pair of ripped up black cargo pants, and dirty scuffed black boots. His face is painted a grey-ish silver, with a black anarchy symbol.]
Shrapnel: So here we are Debonair. Tonight we face you and those two little jobbers for a tag title shot. I already hold a win over Tyson Bryson for the Cruiserweight title tournament. So I'm not worried about the four of you. You guys mock us, you take us too lightly. Well, that's fine, because we will show you how hard we can be. We would mock you, but that would require extreme acts of homosexuality, sick perverted actions with gerbils, and having our genitalia removed.
[Sykopath slaps his hand on Shrapnel's shoulder.]
Syko: Thanks "pal".... I just wanted to feel the vomit rise in my gullet..... ANYWAY, aside from my partner Shrapnel here, trying to arouse Debonair, we happen to have a match with them at the Blood Bowl. This comes to me as a surprise... because well, we are new to the tag division..... we may have beaten one team. But there are others to be beaten. We haven't even shown half of our full potential, and it's gotten us a tag title shot..... can any other tag team say that? I don't think so. We ARE hardcore, we hurt people, we destroy things... and yes Debonair, we are bad-ass fuckers if that's what you want to think. We are going to tear you limb from limb.... snapping bone and sinew..... you will know the meaning of pain on a first hand Basis.
[Sykopath turns his back to the camera for a short while. He leans against the wall, parallel with the camera, now seen in his hands is a Squee! comic.]
Shrapnel: Umm.. yeah sure, but we don't only face Debonair. We face DHM and Steelheart. So that would make it a handicapped match, wouldn't it. Considering both members of Debonair just barley make up one man, and then add another half from the jobbers. So looks like we have an unfair advantage. But that is they way you guys wanted it. So when we leave you a bloody, beaten, pile of broken flesh, you have nobody to blame but yourselves. Then, at the Shane Delaney Memorial Tournament, we will do the same. But in that match, we will take your prized tag titles.
[Shrapnel sits down and snatches the Squee! comic from Sykopath's hand. He Flips it back to the beginning, as Sykopath stands up.]
Sykopath: ..... You know something... he's right. Debonair, you were very truthful as well... and we give you that. You have made yourselves out to be cowering little boys, instead of fully grown towering men. You run and hide, cheat and steal, lie and Decieve. You cannot win a match by your own merit. If you can, it's against a team that is poorly prepared, and barely adiquit to have the titles, a shot at the titles, or a match with you in general, because right now you are held very high on the ladder as the Champions. You may have beaten Hell on Earth through cheating and deviousness, and we congradulate you on that, but you are still weaklings who have not the power to stand in our way. Dark Holy Matt.... Rexx Steelheart.... you two have great potential.
[Shrapnel snickers and tries not to laugh as Sykopath's mask seems to raise slightly as if a large smile has crossed his face.]
Sykopath: Well, you do have great potential. A little training, physical and mental.... you two could, mind you that's a BIG could go somewhere in this company. But no. You have chosen the easiest way out. No training, a poor diet, little or no conditioning, NOTHING! You two are very, very pathetic individuals. You could have made yourselves into something, but you have gone the way that oh so many have strayed to. The life of a opener. The opening match characters that are laughable at best, scorned at least, only kept around to leave the roster looking full and bright as it should. You are a blotch.... a permenant stain on the BSCW roster. You have uncharted losses, and a disgusting (at best) winning record. It's so hard not to fall over laughing at the mention of your name, because you are so..... worthless. Shrapnel and I were like that once. Laughable.... losers.... total disgraces to the business.
Shrapnel: *Under his breath* Speak for yourself...
Sykopath: But the Fallen... have risen. We have ascended the Tag Team heap, let alone the singles roster, why, just a short time prior to this, Shrapnel was the Cruiserweight Champion, and I was the Hardcore Champion. Albeit that Jaji stole Shrapnel's title and kept it from him with fluke wins, Shrapnel was a true champion. We have combined our causes, to tear a new asshole into BSCW. No, we are not a threat, we are Re-Vamping this fed, whipping it into a Hardcore compilation of ass kickers, throat rippers, and gold hoarding maniacs who are willing to destroy anything and anyone to get gold. That will make this company great. And we are the match holders, who will set the forest that is BSCW ablaze into a wild fire, catching every man, and woman in this federation, wrestler and manager alike. But I digress. I have strayed from my main point.
Shrapnel: No kidding you dork.
Sykopath: Shut your noise tube.... Anyway, as I was saying before I trailed off, we are now among the greatest tag teams in BSCW, if not, this entire business. Sure, Hell on Earth... that tag of Hoe's... will have something to say... but I doubt it will be anything important. We will rip and pry those title belts from your unconscious bodies after our next meeting, because we will win our title shot... one way... or another.
[And finally, we fade back to the ring, where Jared Lord is standing by.]
JL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Handicap Match!
[“Debonaire” by Dope hits the P.A., and here come Matt and Tyson.]
JL: Introducing first, BSCW Legends Dark "Holy" Matt and Rexx Steelheart II, and the BSCW tag team champions… ”Hollywood” Matt James and Tyson Bryson… DEBONAIR!!!!
[Matt and Tyson turned towards both Matt and Rexx attempting to talking with the two of them However half way down the ramp, Matt walks right past them chanting voodoo spells on the ring while Rexx jumps in one of the fans face, the twelve year old however clocks him and Rexx goes running inside the ring holding his cheek Matt and Tyson then give each other a look of disgust, then slide into the ring trying to ignore there partners as Matt poses for the crowd and then begins flipping them off, while his partner Tyson jumps on the ropes barking trash talk at the crowd.]
JL: And now their opponents...
["Descending Angel" bursts from the P.A. as the camera pans to the entrance ramp that has now turned dark. Jared Lord comes over on the mic.]
JL: Introducing now, from Highlands, Maine and Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at a combined weight of four hundred and seventy-five pounds... Sykopath and Shrapnel, THE FALLEN~!
[Shrapnel and Sykopath fail to appear from the back, but are replaced with two figures, slowly moving forward, seemingly larger and older opponents.]
MH: IT'S FRANK WILLIAMS, JR. AND RANDY MULKAY!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING OUT HERE?!
[Frank and Randy begin to EXTREMELY slowly make their way down the ramp. Debonair give each other a weird look, then look at both REXXX & MATT and they all begin laughing hysterically at the duo. As there distracted with Frank and Randy, the crowd bursting into a huge cheers as the camera pans to see Sykopath with a steel chair in hand and Shrapnel/w a kendo stick as slide into the ring from behind them. Matt and Tyson slowly stop laughing after listening to the crowd as both Syko & Shrapnel swing their weapons at Debonair, only to have Matt and Tyson jump outta the way leaving Rexx and Dark Holy Matt to take the shots.]
MH: The Fallen have used the former members of the JwO as distraction for the team of Debonair and company so they could get the upper hand, what a brilliant move! Syko continues to smash the chair into the face of Steelheart while Shrapnel lifts up MATT off the mat and swings the kendo stick in his gut followed by another quick shot to the head knocking THE DARK HOLY ONE head right off!!!
BW: Did you ever notice that Jared Lord called both REXX and MATT legends?
MH: Yes I noticed, but I also noticed that both "Hollywood" Matt James and Tyson Bryson are both outside of the ring watching their partners both getting dismantled by the Fallen. Sykopath and Shrapnel eventually get tired of beating on Steelheart and Dark Holy Matt as they toss both members outta the ring and begin calling Tyson and Matt inside the ring... now were finally gonna get to see some "real" Action.
BW: I _really_ don't like the way you said "real" action.
MH: Both Matt and Tyson jump onto the apron, they give each a couple nods as James begins yelling at the ref to get rid of their weapons and kick out one member of Fallen outta the ring while Tyson leaps up and down in the air agreeing with him. Then Shrapnel and Syko shrug their shoulders as they toss both weapons out and the ref begins to force Sykopath to head over into another corner... and just as the ref turns his head both members of Debonair charge right in and begin the double team on Shrapne! Sykopath tries to charge right in there to even the odds, but the ref still has his back turned and is trying to get Sykopath into his corner. Are the Officials _really_ trained to be this stupid?
BW: {Gives a sigh in disbelief} You must never have watched a wrestling match in your life. Anyway, that cheater Sykopath is finally back in his corner while Matt James is busy doing a series of kicks onto the face on a fallen Shrapnel, who I might add Matt is _all_ alone with him. Matt then lifts Shrapnel up off the canvas and Irish Whips him into the ropes, but Matt misses with a clothesline. Shrapnel tries picking up the pace and charges back at Matt connect with a diving spear! Matt try to get back to his feet so he can recover... but Shrapnel gives him a Spinning Heel Kick every time he tries to get off the mat until Matt crawls quickly over past his opponent and tags in his partner, Tyson Bryson. Who is none happy to be having to go into the match against Shrapnel.
MH: I agree, he looks scared to death having to go against him.
BW: Not what I meant, he's upset because he was having intelligent Conversation with Dark Holy Matt whose finally climbed into his corner along with Rexx...
MH: Oh will you cut it out! Bryson finally steps into the ring still with a look of fear having to get in the ring as he and Shrapnel pace around each other for a moment getting ready to strike. Now their beginning to go at it _and_... Tyson tags in James again.
[Crowd begins booing the roof outta Debonair as James comes inside the ring for Tyson. Shrapnel lets out a sigh of annoyance as Tyson puts his fists up in preparation to battle it out.]
MH: And now Tyson will once again go at it against Shrapnel. They stare at each other eye to eye as they once again pace around each other. Shrapnel lunges right out at Tyson Bryson, but Bryson once again rolls past Shrapnel and heads over to tag in Matt James. Now this is just getting annoying! Even Shrapnel is just living on the other side of the ring.
BW: Hey don't blame them, it’s smart tag wrestling to tag in your partner as frequently as possible.
MH: True... but not "that" frequently. The champs now give each other a double high five as if they really think they accomplished something outta this and James once again enters inside the ring as Shrapnel finally comes back to his senses and gives out a huge grin. Matt James looks a little concerned as they pace around each other again, Shrapnel lunges one more time at him with a clothesline, but James ducks it and heads over to his corner to make the tag... only to find Sykopath beating the hell outta Tyson Bryson on the outside as the ref tries to break Syko off him. James tries then to tag Rexx in, but he falls and plays dead on the canvas. Then tries Dark Holy Matt, but he's already slivered away elsewhere. James now has no choice but to face off against Shrapnel.
BW:This isn't fair, James has no partner to go to and has to face Shrapnel all by himself. James, with no choice, charges at Shrapnel only to get caught in a hurrincanranna. The ref finally gets Syko back into his corner as Shrapnel continues to build the momentum up as he hits the ropes. James gets back to his feet as Shrapnel running towards and lifts him up into a Tilt-a-Whirl Slam... NO, Shrapnel connects with a Tilt-a-Whirl Head Scissors on James which is followed by a quick cover...
ONE~!
And he kicks out before even a two count. What a resilient man James is!
MH: Riiiight, anyway Shrapnel picks James back off the mat back, but James rakes Shrapnel in the eyes and grabs him into a headlock.
BW: My god look at how he's just wrenching on the neck of poor Shrapnel, I don't think he can last much lon....
MH: He's not in the hold too long, as Shrapnel begins elbowing James in the gut and escapes his grasp. Shrapnel then hits the ropes again, but James ducks his clothesline and grabs Shrapnel... in an abdominal stretch? James sure is bringing out the power holds in this match, huh?
"BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!
BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!
BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!
BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!
BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!
BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!
BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!! BOR-ING!!"
BW: Hey, this is very smart wrestling he's doing, not letting Shrapnel build this match into a fast paced match-up. These fans are just very ungrateful. Shrapnel tries powering outta the move, will he tap out to the ever so painful hold? DAMN IT he hip tossed James outta the hold and heads on over to tag in his partner Sykopath for the very first time in this match. Which I must say isn't really fair at all!
MH: You tell that to Sykopath who has been waiting this whole time to get into the match.
BW: Umm... maybe you can since your so worried about it.
MH: Yeah , anyway Sykopath charges in there as James is getting back to his feet...
[THUD!]
MH: T-BONE SUPLEX RIGHT ONTO JAMES! Syko keeps things moving as he leaps onto the top turn buckle, he measures him and then jumps... and Syko connects with a Leg Drop from the top rope! Syko goes for a cover…
ONE~!
[Tyson Bryson grabs REXX and tosses him in the ring.]
TWO~!
NO! Steelheart breaks the cover with a leg drop of his own and picks Syko up off of James. Rexx actually sets Syko for a vertical suplex... No, Syko overpowers him and connects with another T-Bone Suplex! Bryson flips out and then heads to the outside of the ring to try and push Dark Holy Matt into the ring, but Shrapnel heads back into the ring and connects with a baseball slide knocking both of them into the guard railing. Both Shrapnel and Sykopath stare at one another inside the ring, turn towards Bryson and Dark Holy Matt on the outside and both charge...
[THUD!]
BW: THEY JUST CONNECTED WITH A DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD PLANCHA ONTO BOTH MEN! EVERY MAN IN THIS MATCH-UP IS DOWN!!!
"FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!
FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!
FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!
FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!
FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!
FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!
FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!! FAL-LEN!!"
MH: THIS MATCH HAS GONE FROM A SLOW PACED BOUT TO A TOTAL INSANE MATCH!
BW: You've never seen a match with the Fallen in it, have you? Syko slides back into the ring, but is grabbed by James who sets him up in between his legs, he lifts him up into a powerbomb and begins spinning round...
[WHAM!]
BW: But that cheater Sykopath escapes and connects with a horribly done DDT on him. What a piece of crap that was!
MH: What? That was a perfect DDT!
BW: Yeah... for backyard wrestling standards that is.
MH: Just keep your mouth shut. Anyway, Syko slowly gets back to his feet and begins pounding on the fallen James. Shrapnel slides the ring with a chair in hand only to be stopped by the ref. Shrapnel tosses the chair past ref the and begins distracting the ref while Syko is now knocking the day lights outta James with a few well placed punches, and one high kick to the temple. Sykopath then picks up the chair and...
[THWACK!]
MH: Bashes James right in the head with the chair, taste of their own medicine! Damn it, but Bryson crawls back into the ring from behind and nails Sykopath's with a low blow, he sets him in between his legs and...
[WHAM!]
MH: Connects with jumping piledriver right onto the chair!!! Bryson then tosses the chair outta the ring and pulls James onto Syko as Shrapnel charges past the ref and clotheslines Bryson right outta the ring. The ref then sees James on Syko and makes the cover…
ONE~!
Damn it no, not like this!
TWO~!
BW: It's all over, Debonair did it!
MH: THERE... NO, SYKO KICKED OUT!
BW: No way, that was a slow count!!! James slowly gets up off the mat and begins arguing with the ref over that call and with good reasoning.
MH: Oh of course he is, isn't he? Now all the members of the team have finally made it to their corner and Matt goes to his corner to tag... Rexx Steelheart II? Him and Tyson push him into the ring as Rexx searches for any sort of means out of this or something like that. He goes running for the hills....
[SMACK!]
MH: Runs into a roundhouse kick from Syko. Sykopath picks up Steelheart and drags him over to his corner, then sets him upside down in the Tree Of Woe position. Sykopath tags in Shrapnel who has a chair in hand and goes to the opposite corner. Syko takes a step back with his back turned from Rexx, taunts his opponent Dark Holy Matt trying to enter the ring while the ref holds him back. With the refs back turned, Syko crouches down and jumps up in a backflip, extending a leg, which nails Rexx in the balls. Then Shrapnel comes running in with a Chair assisted Drop Kick.
BW: This isn't right! Fallen has been cheating this enter match!
MH: Turn about Debonair's fair play, eh? Shrapnel then begins to climb to the top turnbuckle. Syko drags REXX outta the corner and send him to the ropes...
[WHAM!]
MH: BAD FUCKIN’ MOVE BY THE FALLEN!!! STEELHEART COULD BE DEAD AFTER THAT ONE!!!
BW: Yeah, but here comes both members of Debonair right behind Shrapnel who snuck outta their corners as the ref’s being distracted by Dark Holy Matt. James grabs Shrapnel into a Camel Clutch... "SHOW ME THE MONEY" BY THE MEMBERS OF DEBONAIR! James jumps up and celebrates after the move, turns around however and gets clotheslined outta the ring by Syko. Syko turns around and gets a eye rake by Tyson. He then drags over to the corner and Tyson climbs up top, it looks like he's going for his Dirtknap, if he hits this move it will be all over... NO! Syko knocks his legs out from under him, crotching him up top. Sykopath goes down on one knee as Shrapnel gets back to his feet and runs in, being lifted off by Sykopath into a flying Dragonrana from the top. Sykopath catches Tyson in mid-fall, turns around and gives Tyson a running Turnbuckle Bomb, and then goes down on all fours, letting Shrapnel run, and jump off of Sykopath's back into a Dangerous DDT completing what they call the "Undermined"! Shrapnel goes for the cover...
ONE~!
BW:NO, THEY CAN'T SERIOUSLY WIN THIS! YES, HERE COMES DARK HOLY MATT!
TWO~!
[Dark Holy Matt gets knocked out by a roundhouse kick by Syko.]
THREE~!
[DING! DING! DING!]
[Crowd explodes in cheers.]
MH: IT'S OVER, THE FALLEN HAVE DEFEATED THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
BW:NO, THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!
JL: Here are your winners... The Fallen!
[Shrapnel and Syko punch fists and laugh at their beaten opponents as they leave ringside. As Sykopath and Shrapnel walk up the ramp they pass Randy and Frank who are still struggling to get down the ramp and to the ring. Sykopath stops and tells both men that the match is over and they can go back stage and rest. As Syko and Shrapnel both go into the back, Randy and Frank both give each other unhappy looks as they both pass out onto the ramp way, then security finally come out and drag both of them into the back. Matt James then grabs the microphone from Jared Lord…]
MJ: No way! What was that crap? The Fallen, no big deal. Everyone knows we can beat them easy… but Randy Mulkay? Frank “The Ass Kicker” Williams, Jr.? Bullshit!
[Heel Pop!]
MJ: You freaks get your shot… but it’s gonna be a Scientific Rules Match! Next time, we prove that you guys aren’t anything unless you’re breaking furniture!
[James tosses the mic down, and awaits The Fallen’s reaction. Sykopath and Shrapnel come back out, Syko with a mic in his hand.]
Sy: Hell fucking yes~!
[HUGE Face Pop!]
MH: Well, a simple answer from The Fallen, and we have our rematch made!
BW: Bah, they never shoulda won in the first place.
MH: Whatever. I understand we have Ronan Alexander standing by with another tag team, this time in the form of former tag champs Hell On Earth. Take it away, Ronan.
[The scene opens in a not well lit room but the room is not pitch black. Three figures can be made out. One sets on the one couch while the other two sit on the far couch. You can make out all three...one is Ronan Alexander, a reporter for Blood, Sweat, and Chairs Wrestling. He is dressed in a nice dress shirt and a pair of black jeans. The other two figures are none other than former BSCW Tag Team Champions, The Rebel and Blacktop, Hell on Earth. The Rebel is dressed in a pair of cut off black shorts and a cut off Hell on Earth t-shirt. Blacktop is dressed in all black with a hooded sweatshirt on with the hood pulled over his head. Ronan begins.]
RA: Thank you guys for taking time out of your busy schedule to answer a couple of questions. It's been a couple of days since Detonation and now how does it feel to be labeled as former BSCW Tag Team Champions?
[The camera cuts to The Rebel who has a look of disgust on his face as he begins.]
R: You see Mr. Alexander we have been labeled all our lives. So what does it really matter if you stick us with one more label... that will soon be lost in the world of the good.
B: Soon they will all forget that we are former champions... because we will once again regain our fame and glory that we once had... even if it means we have to send a couple of pissants to the hospital in the process.
[The came cuts back to Ronan. He begins once again.]
RA: Mr. Blacktop when you say pissants are you referring to the newly crowned BSCW Tag Team Champions, Debonair?
[The camera pans to a wide shot of the room and the three men as Blacktop begins.]
B: Mr. Alexander you are a sadly mistaken man... when I said pissants I meant anybody that steps in our way and tries to stop us from regaining our BSCW Tag Team Championships. Whether it's The Fallen... Debonair and their two bodyguards...or even the almighty Boz himself... someone is going to pay... and the end result no one is going to like it...
[The camera slowly pans toward Ronan as he gets ready to ask his next question.]
RA: Mr. Blacktop you mentioned two things that bring me to my next two questions. Do you feel if it was not for Rex Steelheart II and Dark Holy Matt you two will still be BSCW Tag Team Champions? Also to Mr. Rebel how do you feel about Boz's new attitude?
[The camera pans to Blacktop as he begins once again.]
B: You see those two bastards stuck their noses in a place that it did not belong... if you did not notice it took four of those bastards to rob us of our BSCW Tag Team Championships... but you see the next time we see Debonair and their bunch of bitches... they are going to need more back than what they had at Detonation... because at Detonation you two and your bitches escaped with your lives... because we let you... but next time we will end your fucking careers for good...
[The camera cuts to The Rebel as he begins to answer Ronan's second question.]
R: Mr. Alexander you see Boz has stepped from the darkness into the light... he has given up on trying to be evil... to do the right thing. Boz has become a corporate suck up... but see if one man can pull Boz back to the darkness before the light swallows him whole... it's me. Boz I have not forgot where I have came from and I hope you have not forgot where you have came from... because one day... maybe sooner than later... The Board of Directors will be back together... because you can try and take the man out of the evil... but you can't take the evil out of the man.
[The camera comes back to Ronan Alexander who has a strange look on his face but he continues.]
RA: Why for some reason do I have this funny feeling if The Board of Directors returns to the BSCW... it will be on of the darkest days in Blood, Sweat, and Chairs Wrestling has seen in a while. But if it does happen I have been forewarned... but my question is Blood Bowl is just around the corner and you two have the chance to get a shot at the Tag Team, North American, and World Championships... if you can survive the Blood Bowl Match.
[The camera pans in on The Rebel's face as he begins.]
R: You speak of if we can survive... Ronan we have survived everything Mr. Richard Vail has thrown in our way... and this is none other than another ploy by the higher ups of the BSCW to make sure we never touch the tag team straps again... but you see will survive and once again we will prove to everyone that we are the most feared team and for the BSCW higher ups it will be their fucking nightmare come true.
[The camera cuts to Blacktop.]
B: We will hurt people to get what we want... and we will continue to hurt people until we get our Tag Team Championships... and during the Blood Bowl Match we plan on sending all involved to the hospital... and the blood will not be on our hands... it will be on the hands of "Hollywood" Matt James and Tyson Bryson... why... because they ask for it... now they have it... and there isn't a fucking thing they can do about it. This fucking interview is over pissant.
[Hell on Earth gets up and walks out of the room as the scene fades to back to the ring.]
[We go to the ring, where Jared Lord stands by.]
JL: Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for the BLOOD BOWL!
[POP!]
JL: The rules are as follows: 2 BSCW superstars will begin in the ring, and every two minutes another man will enter. A superstar is eliminated when tossed over the top rope, and both feet hit the floor. Besides that, anything goes! Now, let’s find out who drew number one!
[Pause…]
["Sugar, Sugar" by the Archies plays, as Goo makes his way to the ring to his new theme song. Goo is wearing banana yellow tights with a cartoon picture of EVERYONE else in the Blood Bowl right on the butt.
#SUGAR #DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO#OH, HONEY HONEY #DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO #YOU ARE MY CANDY GIRL #AND YOU GOT ME WANTING YOU
The fans give Goo a big ovation for his first action back in BSCW. He stops to salute the fans, and then rolls into the ring.]
MH: The Big Bad Goo Daddy is back in a BSCW ring, and listen to the crowd!
BW: Why do these idiots love the Gooster? It doesn’t make sense!
MH: How could you NOT like the Gooster?
BW: Let’s see who got number two!
[“Pepper” by the Butthole Surfers plays as Emmitt comes out to no crowd response. He pats himself on the back and runs down to the ring as the match starts.]
MH: Goo and Emmitt both have a LONG way to go in this match if they want to earn a title shot. We are underway! Emmitt with right hands on Goo, but the big man doesn’t feel a thing!
[Goo no sells the punches to a big pop and then hammers Emmitt with a right hand that sends him flying. Emmitt gets up.]
[SMACK!]
MH: Goo connects with a Goo Kick, and sends Emmitt flying into the corner!
[Goo hip tosses Emmitt out of the corner and then taps on his leg as the crowd cheers. He hits the ropes and drops a leg across the throat of Emmitt. He calls for Emmitt to get back up to his feet. Emmitt misses with a wild right hand.]
MH: Scissor lock dragon sleeper by Goo, and Emmitt is tapping wildly!
BW: Yeah, but he can’t eliminate him that way!
MH: I think Goo just wants to show off how he’s in great ring condition.
[Goo relinquishes the hold, picks up Emmitt and tosses him over the rope…
and out!]
MH: Emmitt is gone!
[CROWD POP!]
MH: Goo is by himself as the clock ticks down, and here comes competitor number three!
[“Forgotten” by Linkin Park blares over the PA system, and X-Kalibur makes his way down to take on Goo.]
MH: X-Kalibur, the 213 pound Cruiserweight from Death Valley is the next to challenge Goo. X slides in and lights up Goo with some kicks to the gut.
BW: To his FAT gut.
MH: X now with and Irish whip, but Goo reverses and hits a BAAAAACK body drop!
[Goo picks up X, sends him to the ropes, and…
THUUUUUUUUUUUD!
…drills him with a powerslam!]
MH: Goo dominates X-Kalibur here so far! Goo now lifts up X-Kalibur once more…
[Goo lifts up X into the crucifix position!]
MH: Look at this!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Oozing Machismo to X-Kalibur! Goo now picks up X and tosses him!
[He tosses him over…
and out!]
MH: X is gone!
BW: Will SOMEBODY please eliminate this slob?
[The timer ticks down as the fans count along: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZ!]
MH: Who’s next?
[“Wait and Bleed” by Slipknot hits, as Boz makes his way out with Ms. Kelly.]
BW: It’s Boz out here, fresh from losing to Royal, but Boz could earn a shot at the world title, right here tonight!
…..
HA! Fooled you.
MH: Get him, Boz!
[The crowd explodes as Goo hammers away on Boz with right hands as soon as he enters the ring.]
MH: Goo goes after him right away, though! Goo now with a scoop and a slam. He hops to the second rope and comes off with a fist drop to Boz!
[Goo rolls Boz to the corner and stomps a mudhole to him. He picks him up and tries a hip toss…
WHAM!
…but Boz counters with a quick swinging neckbreaker.]
MH: Boz now sends Goo to the ropes…HE BACKDROPS HIM OVER…NO! Boz tried to carry Goo out of the ring, but ended up just hot shotting him instead! Goo is still down, however, and Boz wants to go for the figure four…Goo pushes him off! Boz falls to the floor!
BW: He’s still in! He fell THROUGH the ropes!
MH: That’s right, you’re correct Bil. Boz now on the floor as Goo gets up and waits for him. What’s Boz doing?
[WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!]
MH: Boz sprays Goo in the face with a fire extinguisher he dug out from under the ring! Goo can’t see!
BW: And now that bastard’s getting a chair to use on the fatso in the ring!
MH: NO! NO! Goo can’t see!
[Goo swings wildly as Boz enters the ring behind him, laughs, and…
SMAAAAAAAAAAACK!]
MH: GOOD LORD, LISTEN TO THAT CHAIR SHOT!
[SMAAAAAAAAAAACK!]
MH: ANOTHER!
[SMAAAAAAAAAAACK!]
MH: Another! Goo is in the ropes, and Boz winds up for one last one to send him out!
[SMAAAAAAAAAAACK!]
MH: GOO KICK INTO THE CHAIR! GOO KICK INTO THE CHAIR! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!
BW: Dammit, I thought Goo would be a goner!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZ!]
MH: Number five about to enter the ring!
[“American Bad Ass” by Kid Rock blares over the PA and out comes Blacktop! The 6-11, 370 pound monster struts down to the ring and sees two men down in the ring. Goo is up to his feet first.]
MH: Things are about to get real interesting!
[Blacktop sends Goo to the ropes and drops him with a boot to the face. He then turns to Boz.]
BW: AAAH! BOZ’S IN TROUBLE!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! BY GOD, WHAT A CHOKESLAM TO BOZ!
[HUUUUUUUUGE CROWD POP!]
BW: Goo from behind!
[Goo knocks Blacktop down from behind, and then stomps away at him. He hammers him face first into the turnbuckle in the corner. He whips Blacktop, but Blacktop reverses and sends Goo into the opposite corner. Blacktop charges, but Goo gets a boot up. Goo then runs out of the corner and bulldogs Blacktop to the mat.]
MH: Great move by Goo, knocking down Blacktop!
BW: Get up, Boz!
[Ms. Kelly urges up Boz, who uses the ropes to help pull himself to his feet. Goo runs at him with a clothesline, and Boz goes up, over…
…but lands on the apron and sneaks back in!]
BW: WHEW! Boz is still in there!
MH: Goo hammers him with shots in the back as the timer ticks down.
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZ!]
[“Broken Oar” by Emmet Swimming hits the PA, and out comes “Big D” Devin Burke. He runs into the ring and goes after Blacktop with right hands.]
MH: Burke is in there now, and he had a nice debut at Detonation.
BW: Now he’s going after a BIG BOY, though!
MH: Burke arm drags Blacktop to the mat and works that over as Blacktop writhes in pain and reaches for the ropes.
[Meanwhile, Goo sends Boz to the ropes, but drops his head…
WHAM!
…and Boz hits a big DDT. While he has him down, he slaps on an arm bar.]
MH: Burke and Boz both have arm bars on their respective opponents now, as Blacktop and Goo get back to their feet. Right hands by Blacktop! Right hands by Goo!
[Blacktop breaks free of the hold, and quickly hooks Burke’s head…
THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: SNAP DDT TO BURKE!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Goo hits a Samoan drop on Boz!
BW: AAAH! Goo has that chair Boz used on him earlier!
[The crowd pops as Boz gets back to his feet….
SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!]
MH: CHAIR SHOT TO THE HEAD…and BOZ IS OUT!
[A mixed reaction from the crowd as Boz falls to the floor.]
BW: YES!
MH: Blacktop trying to force Burke over the top rope, and “Big D” is hanging on with everything he has!
[Blacktop finally pushes Burke over…
…but Devin lands on the apron, and rolls back inside!]
MH: Burke is back in!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZ!]
BW: Not for long!
[“Holla Holla” by Ja Rule plays, and Caleb Mandrake rushes to the ring.]
BW: Mandrake, and impressive rookie, is number seven!
MH: Goo and Blacktop send Mandrake to the ropes, and destroy him with a double clothesline!
[Goo and Blacktop turn to each other, and nail each other with lariats, and everybody is quickly down!]
MH: All three men down here in the Blood Bowl!
BW: You’ve got quite the contrast of styles in there right now, don’t you?
MH: Blacktop is up first, as Goo crawls to the corner to catch his breath. Blacktop turns to Mandrake, mauling him with some big right hands. Mandrake to the corner, and Blacktop hits a huge running lariat. Out of the corner….OOOOOF! Blacktop almost took Mandrake’s head off with a shortarm clothesline!
BW: Will they quit fighting each other and take out Goo! He’s just sitting there!
MH: Blacktop now picks up Caleb. Lariat…no, Caleb ducks and hooks a sleeper! Sleeper hold on Blacktop!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Dropping sleeper by Mandrake, planting Blacktop to the mat! Goo now EXPLODES out of the corner, and takes down Mandrake with a lariat of his own! Goo sends Caleb to the ropes, but Caleb comes back with a spinning heel kick to Goo!
BW: Blacktop!
[Blacktop picks up Mandrake and sets him up over the chair…]
MH: NO!
[CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!]
MH: TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER ON THE CHAIR! Blacktop is a VICIOUS man!
[Blacktop turns to Goo, who begs him not to do anything. Goo smiles, and offers a handshake to Blacktop, who takes it, and they both try shortarm clotheslines, knocking themselves down!]
MH: All three men are down once again, and one more guy is going to now enter the fray!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZZ!]
MH: Who’s number 8?
[“Money Talks” by AC/DC plays as John O’Riordan makes his way out to chants of “SWEETNESS!” from the crowd. He looks at everyone down in the ring and smiles, and then goes after Caleb Mandrake.]
MH: O’Riordan goes after the guy whose neck may be broken. What a class act!
[O’Riordan hammers Mandrake with some right hands, tying him up in the ropes.]
BW: Bye-bye, Caleb!
[O’Riordan charges, but Caleb lowers the shoulder…
THUUUUUUUUUUUD!
…and back drops O’Riordan out of the ring to a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE pop!]
MH: JOHN O’RIORDAN IS GONE! MANDRAKE ELIMINATED HIM!
[O’Riordan stands in disbelief as the crowd heckles. Mandrake collapses to the mat again.]
MH: Goo and Blacktop are back up, and going at it!
[Blacktop powers Goo to the corner and nails him with elbows and knees. He then chokes him out with his boot. He turns as Mandrake is up with a hurricanrana….
OH NO HE’S NOT!]
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: CAREER ENDER! Mandrake tried a ‘rana, and got the Career Ender!
[Blacktop scoops up Mandrake and tosses him over the ropes, but he catches the top rope with a free hand.]
MH: Mandrake’s still in it!
[SMACK!]
BW: Holy crap!
MH: An _unbelievably” stiff right jab from “Big D” sends Mandrake over the top! He’s out!
[Blacktop turns back to Goo, scooping up a steel chair before he does.]
BW: Get him, Blacktop!
[Blacktop rams the chair into Goo’s gut a few times, and then sets it on the mat. He hauls Goo out of the corner and then sets up for the tombstone…]
MH: No, Goo’s neck is already bad enough! This could end is career!
BW: Duh, that’s what Blacktop does!
MH: NO! GOO SLIPS DOWN BLACKTOP’S SHOULDER! SCISSOR LOCK DRAGON SLEEPER! SCISSOR LOCK DRAGON SLEEPER!
BW: Another man is coming in soon!
MH: This reminds me of when Goo, Blacktop, and Taurus battled for the world title.
BW: Get out of the hold, Blacktop!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZZZZ!]
MH: Number nine is…
[“Rock Superstar” by Cypress Hill plays, and the former BSCW Cruiserweight champion Jaji heads down to the ring with Gavin Hearst. Hearst is still yelling at Jaji, apparently still upset about Jaji’s loss to Harker earlier.]
MH: Here comes Jaji!
[Jaji slingshots into the ring and then just waits, letting Goo do as much damage to Blacktop as he can. Goo releases the hold and goes after Jaji, but Jaji catches him with a spinning heel kick.]
MH: Goo reverses an Irish whip, but Jaji comes right back with a handspring leg lariat to Goo! Impressive start here for Jaji in the match!
[Jaji goes to eliminate Goo, but Goo holds onto the ropes.]
BW: He can’t get the fat man over!
[Blacktop gets up, but Gavin Hearst trips him up as soon as he does. Blacktop turns and slides outside the ring, sending Hearst scampering.]
MH: Hearst is a piece of shit.
BW: Yeah he is. And a flaming one at that.
MH: Jaji gives up on dumping Goo, but instead hits the ropes, slides under…
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Jaji catches Blacktop with an amazing baseball slide DDT, and saves Hearst!
BW: He should have let Gavin get his ass kicked!
MH: Yeah, I’m actually surprised he didn’t! Jaji rolls back inside, but Goo takes him down with a Goo spear! Right hands by Goo! Goo picks up Jaji, and…
[WHAM!]
MH: …connects with a nice T-bone suplex! Goo now dumps Jaji over the top rope…no! Jaji hangs on and slides back in under the bottom rope! Close call for Jaji there!
BW: Blacktop is back up, and the man is pissed!
MH: Jaji low blows Goo! JAJI STINGER! He plants Goo, and…
[CROWD POP!]
MH: Blacktop has Jaji!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: MY GOD WHAT A CHOKESLAM!
BW: Blacktop stands alone right now as Jaji rolls to the floor to recover, and Goo is still down as well!
MH: And here comes another man!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZZZ!]
[“Unforgiven” by Metallica plays, and out comes the Rebel! Goo and Jaji are just rolling back into the ring now as Rebel runs down the ramp and into the ring. He and Blacktop stop to pose, with Rebel striking the crucifix pose and Blacktop pumping his fist in the air. They then turn, and Rebel knocks Jaji down, and Blacktop knocks Goo down.]
MH: Hell on Earth is in the ring together, and that’s going to be trouble for Goo and Jaji!
BW: But it still is every man for himself!
[Rebel pounds the hell out of Jaji while Blacktop chokes out Goo.]
MH: But still, Hell on Earth is working together right now!
[Rebel sends Jaji towards Blacktop, and Blacktop knocks him down with a big boot to the face. Blacktop then sends Goo towards Rebel.]
[CRACK!]
MH: Drop toe hold on the chair by Rebel!
[Blacktop scoops up Jaji, and then lifts him into the air…
…
…
and is still holding him up there…
THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Hanging vertical suplex by Blacktop! Blacktop now signals to eliminate Jaji! Blacktop gorilla presses Jaji and walks towards the ropes…NO! Jaji rakes the eyes and slips down Blacktop’s back! He sends the big man over…
[*CROWD GASP*]
MH: …NO! Blacktop hangs on! Rebel nails Jaji from behind, and Blacktop sneaks back in!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Russian leg sweep by Rebel!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: And another!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: One more Russian leg sweep by Rebel to Jaji!
BW: Right into a grounded Octopus stretch! Jaji is in a lot of pain!
MH: He’s tapping, but of course there are no submissions in this match!
BW: Blacktop goes after Goo now, hammering him with more right hands. Irish whip to the corner is reversed!
MH: HERE IT COMES!
[HUUUUUUUUUUUUGE CROWD POP!]
MH: GOO TRAIN! GOO TRAIN!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH : THE PLUNGE! THE PLUNGE TO BLACKTOP!
BW: And here comes the next to last guy!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZZ!]
MH: Who is it?
[“That’s Gangsta” by Shyne plays as the “Icon Killer” Matt O’Riordan makes his way down to the ring with a cocky stride. Matt gets in the ring and goes after Goo, who just got up from putting Blacktop down with the Plunge.]
MH: Matt O’Riordan has a great number in number eleven, and he goes after the man who has been in there since the beginning!
BW: How the hell is the fatboy still BREATHING?
MH: Meanwhile, Rebel FINALLY lets go of that Octopus stretch on Jaji and fetches himself a chair!
BW: Goo reverses a whip and sends O’Riordan to the ropes.
[THUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
BW: Spinebuster by the fat man to O’Riordan! O’Riordan may be an “Icon Killer” by is he a “fat blob” killer?
MH: Funny.
[SMAAAAAAAAAAAACK!]
MH: CHAIR SHOT TO GOO!
[Rebel helps Blacktop up, and Hell on Earth stands while everyone else is down.]
MH: O’Riordan is up, and Rebel goes for a chair shot…
[SMACK!]
MH: No! O’Riordan counters with a drop toe hold! Blacktop grabs him, however, in a waistlock! No, O’Riordan goes behind!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX TO THE MONSTROUS BLACKTOP!
BW: O’Riordan is RIPPED!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: O’Riordan quickly puts Jaji back down with a nice gutwrench suplex. Blacktop is down, Jaji is down, but Rebel is back up! Rebel and O’Riordan tie up and jockey for leverage as the timer ticks down!
[Crowd: 10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…BZZZZZZZ!]
MH: Here’s the last man in the Blood Bowl!
[“Free” by Vast plays as Matt Wilson stands on the top of the ramp as the last men in the Blood Bowl. He cockily walks down towards the ring, pointing out how he is the last man in the Blood Bowl to the fans.]
MH: Matt Wilson has a great chance…HEY!
[HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE CROWD POP!]
MH: MAX C! MAX C! MAX CASCHERA FROM BEHIND, AND HE’S BEATING THE HELL OUT OF WILSON!
BW: WHAT?
MH: MAX IS BACK! YES!
[Max beats the hell out of Wilson on the ramp and around ringside as the fans go nuts. He then lifts Wilson up into a fireman’s carry…]
[SMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!]
MH: OFFER YOU CAN’T REFUSE ON THE RAMP! MAX JUST KICKED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT BASTARD WILSON!
[Rebel and O’Riordan are still tied up in the ring, and Blacktop is now beating down Jaji and choking him with his boot. Max picks up Wilson and brings him to the ring and rolls him inside, where Goo beats the crap out of Wilson to another HUUUUUUUUUUGE CROWD POP!]
MH: Goo is getting in on the action! It was Wilson that put Goo out of commission at Ragnarok!
[Goo now calmly grabs Wilson and tosses him over the top rope…
…and to the floor! The crowd goes nuts!]
MH: WILSON IS GONE!
BW: And Max C is still going apeshit on Wilson!
MH: Five men left in the Blood Bowl!
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Side slam by Blacktop to Jaji! And now the Bad Ass is calling for the Career Ender! Blacktop has destroyed people his entire time in the match tonight, and Jaji appears to be no different!
[Blacktop lifts Jaji into the air for the Career Ender, but Gavin Hearst pops onto the apron and grabs Blacktop’s shirt and drags him over the top rope, with Jaji going out as well…
…and both men fall to the floor!]
MH: What the hell? Hearst just caused the elimination of both Blacktop and Jaji!
MH: Blacktop is pissed! Lariat to Hearst! Lariat to Jaji!
BW: And Max C isn’t done with Wilson yet!
[CRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!]
MH: GRANDE CAPO TO WILSON, THROUGH THE TIMEKEEPERS TABLE! MAX C HAS DESTROYED MATT WILSON, AND DAMMIT, WILSON DESERVES IT!
[THUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: Goo with a Samoan drop to O’Riordan! By God, he’s been in there the whole time and hasn’t wrestled in months, and the big guy is still fighting!
BW: Oh, PUHLEEZE.
[THUUUUUUUUUUUUUD!]
BW: SUN DEVIL STINGER! Burke catches Goo with the Sun Devil Stinger!
MH: And now O’Riordan’s at the mercy of The Rebel!
BW: NO!
[THUUUUUUUUUD!]
MH: O’RIORDAN COUNTERED THE CONFEDERATE DROP AND SENT REBEL OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR! WE’RE DOWN TO THREE!
BW: Who’s gonna get the tag title shot with The Rebel?
MH: Rebel isn’t thinking that way now! He and Blacktop are kicking the crap out of Jaji while Gavin Hearst gets the hell out of there! Goo, O’Riordan and Burke! Who’s getting the world title shot?
[Goo and O’Riordan duke it out in the middle of the ring with right hands, as Burke stands back, seeing who will go down first, but O’Riordan kicks Goo in the ankle to counter.]
MH: O’Riordan with the ankle lock, but Goo is fighting it! O’Riordan…has…
[O’Riordan twists it and locks it on!]
MH: …the ankle lock applied! Goo is in an incredible amount of pain!
[Goo screams in pain, looking for any way out of the hold.]
MH: DOUBLE LEG ROLLUP BY GOO TO COUNTER! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
[Instead of pinning, Goo rolls right into the scissor lock dragon sleeper!]
MH: DRAGON SLEEPER! WHAT A COUNTER! MY GOD, WHAT A COUNTER!
[HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE CROWD POP!]
[CRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH!]
BW: Well, Jaji just ate some steel steps on the outside, as Hell on Earth continues to destroy him!
MH: Goo lets go of the hold on the inside of the ring and now picks up O’Riordan to toss him over…
[O’Riordan hangs on with everything he has!]
MH: Goo has been in here the whole time! He…pushes…O’Riordan….OVER THE TOP ROPE!
BW: NO! Matt holds on and now shoulders Goo to his big gut. Slingshot clothesline by O’Riordan, and both men are down!
[The crowd comes to its feet as Goo and O’Riordan slowly do as well.]
MH: Goo charges Matt, but O’Riordan gives him a quick inverted atomic drop!
[Matt turns and pulls something out of his tights, but Goo quickly low blows him to a big pop!]
MH: LOW BLOW! Low blow by Goo! Goo sends O’Riordan to the corner!
BW: NO!
MH: GOOOOOOOOOOO TRAIN!
[Goo charges O’Riordan, but Matt drills him in the face with the brass knucks he pulled out of his tights as he does!]
MH: NO! O’Riordan drills Goo, and now hooks him up….LIGHTS OUT! LIGHTS OUT!
BW: O’Riordan clotheslines Goo…OVER AND OUT! YES! YES! O’RIORDAN WINS!
[HUUUUUUUUGE HEEL HEAT FOR O’RIORDAN!]
[THUD!]
MH: O’Riordan turned around, right into a Arm Drag by “Big D” Devin Burke! O’Riordan gets back to his feet…
[THUD!]
BW: Another one! O’Riordan just went toe to toe with the fat bastard Goo, where Burke got a nice rest period. O’Riordan is getting to his feet with the help of the ropes, very wobbily…
[SMACK!]
MH: Double fist to the chin! He’s setting him up…
[THUD!]
BW: No! O’Riordan reverses the Devin Driver into a DDT! He quickly picks Burke up, and into a front facelock… he’s signaling for his old finisher, the Misery Bomb!
[Swerve-A-Riffic Pop!]
BW: ~!
MH: Burke reverses it… into the Devin Driver! He grabs O’Riordan by the head and…
[HUGE Face Pop!]
MH: Tosses him out! We have a winner!
JL: Your winner… “Big D” Devin Burke!
BW: A hell of a match, but nothing compared to what we're about to see, Heath.
MH: Absolutely. Where Whiskey Jakk was once the strong arm of Greed, he is now "Deadly" Derek Irvin's most hated foe. Let's take a look at how this embittered feud came to be.
[We go to a series of clips. We see the growing tension within Greed between Irvin and Jakk. We see Jakk all but abandon Irvin, causing them to lose the BSCW Tag Team Championship straps to Hell On Earth. We see the backstage argument following it, which is followed by the first match between Jakk and Irvin, which caused Jakk to be attacked by his stablemates. We see Fantasy double cross Whiskey Jakk... and we see Jakk's revenge, as he nails her with the Bamboozled. Finally, we see Whiskey Jakk standing triumphantly over the bodies of Matt O'Riordan, Fantasy and "Deadly" Derek Irvin. We then cut backstage at Blood Bowl, where Ronan Alexander stands by with “Deadly” Derek Irvin. Viking Hall erupts in boos as they see the BSCW world champion his ring attire backstage, the BSCW world title slung over his shoulder. DDI cuts off Ronan before he can speak.]
DDI: What happened to Phillabaum? I got a kick out of making fun of him.
RA: I think everybody does, Derek.
DDI: What, you’re telling me what to think now? Ask the question, nobody.
RA: Okay, Derek, tonight you’re going into a Greenhouse match for the BSCW world title with Whiskey Jakk. If you win, it’s the end of your problems with Whiskey Jakk. If not, you lose that belt. How do you feel going into a match that is going to be so brutal and bloody?
DDI: I feel fine Ronan Alexander, and you should know that. Whiskey Jakk is trying to make himself feel better everytime he says I’m scared of him. Why should I be afraid of the big, bad Jakk? Because my lovely manager is in a hospital for the SECOND TIME now because of him? Whiskey, that just makes you a bastard, it doesn’t make me scared of you. Tonight it WILL be brutal and it WILL be bloody. But it’ll be one sided, in favor of the “DEADLY ONE.”
RA: Oh, please. Without the interference of Greed, you’d have been in trouble countless times before. So really, what do you have up your sleeve tonight?
DDI: You think I need something “up my sleeve?” What are you trying to say, Ronan? Are you trying to say that “Deadly” Derek Irvin doesn’t deserve to be the world champion? Are you saying that DDI didn’t deserve to be the BSCW wrestler of the year?
[Pause.]
RA: Well… yeah…
[The crowd pops. Derek smacks Ronan and takes his mic.]
DDI: Note to self, don’t let any short, fat, smug little reporters interview “Deadly” Derek Irvin anymore. Whiskey Jakk, you’re in for a fight tonight. You think that “getting hardcore” and being the “hardcore bastard” will seemingly solve all your problems, but that’s where you’re wrong, pal. Who are the greatest wrestlers of all time? Ric Flair? Ricky Steamboat? Dynamite Kid? Yeah, and how often did you see them wrestling in rings surrounded by glass, or with glass glued to their fists, or swinging flaming chairs or hitting people with trash can lids? The only reason you have a chance tonight is because you somehow weaseled your way into a match that ENCOURAGES mediocrity! Do you honestly think you could compete with me for ONE SECOND if this was a match based purely on mat skills? On athletic ability? I don’t think so!
[DDI smiles.]
DDI: But, this match doesn’t totally preclude good old fashioned, high flying, high impact wrestling. And maybe tonight, before you can use your glass and swing your chairs, I can show you what a real champion, what a REAL WRESTLER is made of. Whiskey Jakk, you are nothing but a big, no-talent, NOBODY.
[DDI laughs, wickedly.]
DDI: And it’s about damn time you realize that you’ll never be any more than that…
[DDI storms off and we cut back to ringside. By now, the "Greenhouse" has been lowered. We're basically looking at a Hell in a Cell with glass paned fused in between the bars. The camera pans to Matt and Bil.]
BW: That is one evil looking structure, Heath.
MH: It certainly is. With this being the last chance Whiskey Jakk will ever get at Irvin, you can bet it'll be very, very nasty. Let's go to Jared Lord for the introductions.
[The camera pans over to Jared Lord, standing outside the ring with microphone in hand.]
["Whiskey in the Jar" by Metallica plays, and the Viking Hall goes nuts for Whiskey Jakk.]
JL: Introducing first, the challenger. From Oakland California... weighing in at three hundred and nineteen pounds... the Hardcore Bastard... Whiskey Jakk!
[Whiskey bursts through the curtain with a confident stride, making his way to the ring. A quick look reveals Whiskey's hands have been dipped in glue and then in glass, and he shows this to the crowd with a smile on his face. Whiskey also carries a Philly Cheese Steak that he hands to the timekeeper, saying "This will be done before that's cold." Whiskey wears his snakeskin pants and stingray boots, along with his black tanktop that says "WJ" in green letters.]
JL: And his opponent...
["Spoonman" by Soundgarden hits the P.A.]
JL: Accompanied to the ring by "The Icon Killer" Matt O'Riordan... from Winston-Salem, North Carolina... weighing in at two hundred and nineteen pounds... representing Greed... he is the undisputed BSCW World Champion... "Deadly" Derek Irvin!
["Deadly" Derek Irvin makes his way out to the ring, followed by "The Icon Killer". DDI is in his usual red and black ring attire tonight, along with a black tanktop that says "Deadly 1" in red letters. DDI jaws with a few fans and then gazes at the steel and glass structure surrounding the ring. He looks up the entire height of it, perhaps finally understanding the seriousness of this final match with Whiskey Jakk. O'Riordan shouts some encouragement to DDI, and Irvin finally snaps out of it. Irvin walks up to the door of the cell as the referee opens it. He then spins around, talking trash to some heckling fans at ringside. Seeing this, Jakk slides out of the ring, and runs at the door, which is now only slightly open.]
[WHAM!]
BW: What the hell! I thought Jakk was supposed to be the good guy? How can these morons cheer for him when he attacks from behind?
MH: He's just getting in his shots before DDI's troops can get here! Jakk kicks the door right into Irvin's back, sending the champion flying! He pulls the champ up...
[Face Shredding Pop!]
BW: Gross!
MH: Jakk is slamming those fists home, right into Irvin's face... and the fists in question are covered in broken glass!
[Jakk finally releases Irvin after a series of shots, and DDI falls to the floor like a ton of bricks. O'Riordan runs to Irvin's rescue, but once he sees Jakk's hands dripping with DDI's blood, he backs off.]
BW: This one is getting real ugly real fast!
MH: No kidding... they haven't even got into the ring yet! Wise move of O'Riordan to back off from Whiskey, by the way.
BW: No shit, Jakk's lost his mind!
[Whiskey picks up a profusely bleeding Irvin up by the head, and lifts him up in a Gorilla Press as the crowd pops like crazy!]
"WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!"
[SMACK!]
BW: Oh my GAWD~!
MH: What a move! Whiskey Jakk just dropped the BSCW World Champion on that steel guard rail... throat first!
[Jakk raises his arms high in the air to an even larger ovation from the crowd as Irvin does his best impression of a dead body on the floor. As he mugs to the crowd, Matt O'Riordan walks up from behind, very slowly, and grabs a steel chair.]
[THWAAACK!]
BW: Yeah! Right to the back of that freakishly oversized head! Once again O'Riordan shows why he _is_ the great equalizer!
MH: I don't know about that, but he did just give his stablemate some much needed time. So far Whiskey has just _dominated" the champion, but maybe DDI can turn it around now.
[O'Riordan runs over to irvin, and helps him to his feet. He helps DDI over to the cell... but first they stop to stomp the hell out of Jakk, which gets HUGE heel heat.]
BW: And just like you said, the flow of the match starts going in DDI's direction.
MH: I'd hardly say that... all he's done so far is kick a man when he's down.
BW: Maybe, but he does it with style, baby.
MH: ....
[They finally relent, and Irvin limps away to the door of the cell. He opens it, and rolls into the ring. As he does, O'Riordan picks Jakk up by the head, and starts to lead him to the ring. He nearly has him there and...]
BW: OOF! A shot to the midsection by Whiskey!
MH: Usually a shot by a man the size of Jakk is bad, but it's made even worse with those damned shards of glass! Whiskey grabs around O'Riordan's waist and...
[WHAM!]
"WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!"
BW: Sweet merciful fuck!
MH: Belly to Back Suplex! O'Riordan hit that steel railing with the back of his head! He is out _cold_! Unbeliavable!
[Meanwhile, DDI has had plenty of time to rest in the ring. Jakk gets up, and enters the cell. He points at Irvin in a "your ass is mine" kind of way, and slowly climbs up to the ring apron, no doubt still hurting from the chair shot and subsequent beatdown on the outside. DDI takes advantage of this by running to the ropes and jumping onto the second rope, his feet litting just off the turnbuckle.]
[Pop!]
BW: Springboard Dropkick! Jakk goes down!
MH: And Irvin's stamina does him credit, as he seems fully energized after only a short rest! He's crouching down, ready to pounce as Jakk gets back to his feet on the outside of the ring...
BW: Scratch that, he's on the attack! Whiskey gets up, and here comes the Deadly One!
[As Jakk gets to his feet and staggers about, DDI runs to the ropes...]
[High Flying Pop!]
MH: Space Flying Tiger Drop! What a move!
[As the two men lie prons on the floor, the crowd gets to their feet, applauding the efforts of both men.]
"B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!"
BW: One hell of a move... and DDI's getting up! He rakes the eyes of Whiskey Jakk, and rolls the big man back in the ring!
MH: Irvin goes under the ring... and he has a chair! He tosses it into the ring, and rolls back in himself. Things aren't looking to good for Whiskey right now, folks.
[Irvin kips up to his feet after rolling in, but Jakk is back to his feet. Jakk, wasting no time, comes off the ropes...]
BW: Rolling Lariat... no! Irvin ducks! He goes behind quickly... Sleeper!
[THUD!]
MH: Not quite... Sleeping Neckbreaker! The flow has definitely changed, as DDI is putting down Whiskey Jakk time after time!
[DDI poses for the crowd, wiping some of the blood off his face and flinging it at them... except that he's in an enclosure of steel and glass, so it just hits the glass. Obviously the loss of blood is causing his brain to be a bit scrambled. He then turns around to re-focus his attention on Whiskey Jakk.]
[THUD!]
BW: Woah!
MH: Backlash DDT! Jakk put Irvin down with his DDI's own signature maneuver! That's a definite slap in the face.
BW: Actually, I think it was more of a blow to the head.
[Jakk picks Irvin up by the head and holds him in place with one hand. Then, with his free hand...]
[Sick Bloodletting Pop!]
MH: Good Lord! Whiskey Jakk is now raking the face of DDI with the back of his hand, as if Irvin wasn't busted open enough tonight! Irvin is screaming, writhing in absolute pain! Jakk finally relents...
[WHAM!]
MH: Only to take Irvin down with a Cradle Neckbreaker! He goes for the pin, and outside the ring the ref starts the count...
ONE~!
TWO~!
THHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
BW: Irvin gets the shoulder up! Damn that was close! Jakk has DDI up again, and fires him into the corner...
[WHAM!]
MH: Oakland Avalanche! He nearly squashed the stuffing out of the champ! But he's not done!
[Jakk grabs DDI by the left arm, and whips him to the corner on the opposite side of the ring. He lets out a huge roar, and charges.]
BW: Irvin's ducking his head down... he's gonna toss that big asshole out of the damn ring!
[But Jakk sees this, and evades it with a sunset flip...]
[Ouch Pop!]
BW: What a retard!
MH: Jakk was definitely working on instinct there... and it cost him! He jumped over Irvin, but lands crotch first on the top turnbuckle!
[DDI runs over to the chair, picks it up...]
[CLANG!]
BW: Diggity damn! Irvin tosses it, sending the chair crashing into the back of Jakk's head! The back of his head must be a chair magnet, or something.
MH: Christ you're stupid. Jakk is upside down after that shot... and Irvin places the chair right in front of the big man's face!
[DDI runs to the other side of the ring, breathes in, and charges.]
[THWACK!]
BW: Baseball Slide! That knocked Jakk silly! DDI kicks the chair aside, and grabs Jakk by the head and...
[Submission Pop!]
MH: Dragon Sleeper! With Jakk still wrapped up in the corner!
[Jakk fights it off, but really has no chance of pushing Irvin off, since he's trapped upside down. He starts fading fast, and DDI starts to let out a cry of victory. However...]
BW: Argh! Jakk submits... but he's too high off the mat to hit the mat to tap out!
MH: How the hell do you know that he submits? You're full of shit!
BW: You're mother's a whore?
MH: .... Moving on...
[Irvin sees that Jakk can't possibly tap, so he releases the hold. Jakk tries to unhook his feet...]
[SMACK!]
BW: Big shot to the side of the head! Jakk started to get his feet loose, but not quickly enough!
[WHAM!]
MH: Reverse Sitdown Facebuster! Off the top rope! That has _got_ to be it! DDI covers...
ONE~!
TWO~!
THREE~!
[Three?]
[Did he get him?]
BW: The ref holds up two fingers!
MH: Whiskey's still in this thing! Amazing!
[Irvin has a look of complete disgust on his face. He looks over to O'Riordan, who has by now recovered from the attack by Whiskey Jakk. He yells at him, motioning him forward. O'Riordan runs towards the door to the cell...]
BW: The ref's in his way! Is he nuts! OOF! Matt just kicked the ref in the nuts!
[Ref Bump Pop!]
MH: Lights Out! He just put the ref down for the count! And he's in the ring!
[O'Riordan sets up the chair in the middle of the ring as DDI pulls Jakk up off the canvas.]
BW: Irvin has him in position for an Atomic Drop... and now O'Riordan joins in...
[Steel Bending Pop!]
MH: Double Belly to Back Suplex! On the chair! The back of Jakk's head bent the steel! Jakk is out! Irvin goes for the cover... but the ref is _still_ out! O'Riordan and Irvin are definitely not pleased!
[Matt and Derek pick Jakk up by the head, and whips him to the ropes. As he charges to the ropes, they inch closer to the ropes on their side of the ring. Whiskey rebounds off the ropes...]
[Super THUD!]
BW: Double Back Body Drop! Right over the tope... Jakk must be DEEEAAD~!
MH: Overreact much?
BW: Just a tad.
[Irvin and O'Riordan slap each other high five, and roll out of the ring. They pick up Whiskey by the head, ready to inflict yet more damage.]
[Face Pop!]
MH: Double Backhand! A simple move like that is absolutely deadly when you're arms are in Taipei Death Match mode!
[O'Riordan and Irvin stagger backwards, hands over their faces as Whiskey gets back to his feet.]
BW: HE has them both by the hair and...
[THUD!]
MH: Face first into the cell! That's a evil combination of steel and glass in there!
[THUD!]
BW: Another one!
[THUD!]
MH: He's not stopping!
[SMASH!]
[Shocked Pop!]
"B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!
B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!! B-SC-W!!"
BW: Holy shit!
MH: He just smashed both of their heads through the glass! They're stuck in the cell!
[As O'Riordan and Irvin struggle to get free, Jakk goes under the ring.]
[Hardcore Pop!]
BW: He pulls out a table... and another one! He's sliding them into the ring... and goes back under the ring!
[BIG Hardcore Pop!]
MH: A 2x4... wrapped in barbed wire! He's walking over to Matt...
"WAUGH!"
BW: Damn! Right into the small of the back... and he has to pull it loose from O'Riordan's flesh! He's goign after DDI... and he rakes it across the champ's back! Irvin's a bloody mess! He's pulling on Irvin... and gets the champ loose!
[Jakk steps back and...]
MH: OOF! 2x4 assisted Clothesline! He's rolling Irvin back into the ring, and following him in with that sick weapon handy!
[Jakk picks Irvin up by the head and...]
[WHACK!]
BW: 2x4 right between the eyes! And now...
[Pop!]
BW: Jakk's signalling for the Bamboozled! He has the champ up and...
[Swerve Pop!]
MH: No~! Irvin reverses it... and locks in the Fujiwara Arm Bar! DDI's put Jakk away on two previous occasions with this move... and tonight looks like it'll be no different! Jakk reaches for the ropes, but he's way too far away!
BW: I think you may be right... Jakk's screaming in pain, he...
[Reaches...]
[SMACK!]
MH: NO! He wasn't reaching for the ropes... he was reaching for the 2x4! And he caught DDI _solid_!
[Meanwhile, on the outside of the ring, Matt O'Riordan gets free. He rolls into the ring and charges at Jakk...]
[WHACK!]
BW: O'Riordan gets caught by Jakk and that damn 2x4! He's picking O'Riordan up by the head... he has him in position for a Gorilla Press Slam!
[Jakk keeps Matt up there, showing off his incredible strength. Then, he runs with O'Riordan up, and then, Bam Bam Bigelow style...]
[Super Mega THUD!]
MH: ACK~!
BW: FUCK!
MH: ....
BW: ....
[...]
MH: I still can't believe it! Whiskey Jakk just threw Matt O'Riordan into the side of the cage from _inside_ the ring! What power!
[Heel Pop!]
BW: DEBONAIR!
[The tag champs roll in the ring, each holding a steel chair. Jakk turns around and...]
[Stereo CLANG!]
MH: Con-Chair-To! Jakk is _down_! They're putting the boots to the Hardcore Bastard!
[Tyson Bryson walks over and helps DDI to his feet. Matt James then pulls Jakk up to his feet. Bryson and James then get Whiskey in position for a Double Northern Lights Suplex.]
BW: They're lifting up Jakk! DDI is coming off the ropes...
[THUD!]
[GIGANTIC Heel Pop!]
MH: Hart Attack Clothesline! DDI goes for the cover!
ONE~!
TWO~!
THHHHHRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
BW: Damn it!
MH: Jakk kicks out! But he's a long way from safe!
[Debonair starts putting the boots to Whiskey...]
[GIGANTIC BIGGER THAN ANYTING EVER FACE POP!]
BW: WHo's that asshole jumping the railing? Someone call security!
MH: NO~! That's no fan! It's...
[Tyson Bryson eats a boot to the gut...]
[THUD!]
"KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!
KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!
KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!
KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!
KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!
KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!
KEITH!! KEITH!! KEITH!!"
BW: I can't believe what I'm seeing...
MH: Bryson gets put down by a Pedigree... executes by none other than Justin FUCKING Keith!
BW:James attacks... Arm Drag! He gets to his feet, and now _he_ gets a boot to the gut!
[THUD!]
MH: Keith's Deadly Surprise! Debonair is out! DDI charges... misses with the clothesline...
[THUD!]
BW: Lost Marbles! Who the fuck invited Keith down here anyway?
MH: Whoever did, thank God! Justin keith has made a triumphant return to BSCW, taking down three fourths of the most dominant stable in wrestling today!
[Justin kicks Debonair out of the ring, and tosses Debonair and O'Riordan out of the cell. He then leaves himself, locking the door behind him. He jumps the railing and exits through the crowd, who is still chanting his name. Amidst all of this, Whiskey rolls over and drapes an arm on DDI's chest.]
ONE~!
TWO~!
THREE~!
MH: Whiskey did it! We have a new champ!
BW: No we don't... the ref's holding up two fingers... idiot.
MH: Oops.
[DDI is up to his feet, and starts setting up a table. Jakk staggers back to his feet, and goes on the attack.]
BW: Stiff shot to DDI's back by Whiskey! There's another place where Jakk can say he busted the world champion open with those glass covered hands! Irvin set the table up, but now it's going to be used against him by the challenger! No! Irvin rakes the eyes!
[_Very_ quickly, DDI runs to the ropes. He hops up on to the top and...]
[SMASH!]
[Wood Splintering Pop!]
MH: Deadman Walking! But he doesn't go for the cover... he grabs the barbed wire 2x4!
[Irvin stands over Whiskey, raising the 2x4 high in the air.]
[Bloody Testicles Pop!]
BW: Low Blow! With broken glass! Jakk gets up... and knocks down Irvin with the 2x4!
[Jakk starts tearing the barbed wire off the 2x4, ignoring the pain as the barbs stick into his flesh. He then begins wrapping the barbed wire around Irvin's head, like a makeshift crown of thorns.]
MH: Yes!
BW: Disgusting! Jakk's setting up that other table... he picks up Irvin and...
[Pop!]
MH: Jakked Up! He's putting an end to DDI here and now!
[Jakk gets him in position, despite the fact that the barbed wire around Irvin's head is now between his legs.]
[CRASH!]
"WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!
WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!! WHIS-KEY!!"
BW: Right through the fuggin' table! Irvin's done! But Jakk's not going for a pin either!
[Jakk rolls out of the ring and goes under the ring...]
[Hardcore Pop!]
MH: Barbed Wire! Whiskey Jakk has pulled a length of barbed wire out and... he's wrapping himself in it!?
[BIG Hardcore Pop!]
BW: He's going up to the ring apron... now he's climbing up top! No! He can't!
MH: But he is! He's going for the...
[Jakk gets on the top rope, looking out at the crowd. He lets out a huge "JAKKED UP!" and...]
...
....
[MEGA WHAM!]
BW: He hit it! Holy shit!
ONE~!
TWO~!
THREE~!
MH: He did it?
BW: What's the word?
[DING! DING! DING!]
[GIGANTIC FACE POP~!]
JL: Here is your winner... and _new_ BSCW World Champion... Whiskey Jakk!
[The cell door opens as "Whiskey In The Jar" re-plays. The ref runs in with the BSCW World Championship in one hand, and Whiskey's philly cheesesteak in the other. Whiskey lifts the strap high in the air, and eats his sandwich over the fallen DDI. The crowd chants his name as he finishes his sandwich, and limps around the ring, celebrating his first singles title in his entire career. The crowd gives him a standing ovation as we cut to the closing credits.]
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Credits:
Harker/Jaji - Jimmy
Boz/Royal - Corbin
Blood Bowl - Pete
Fallen/Debonair - Pat
DDI/Jakk - Rich
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